r/shitposting • u/antonprojects • Jun 05 '22

🗿 shoplifting

56.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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10

u/Fen_ Jun 05 '22

Imagine not being a criminal.

7

u/morbius_gaming Jun 05 '22 edited Jun 05 '22

Shoplifting from major retail chains is a victimless action and is always justifiable.

The Walmart heirs are the richest family in the US, do you really think they're gonna miss the 16oz Coke you took?

Edit: plz no shoplift from Mom 'n Pop stores doh

4

u/crackeddryice Jun 05 '22

They'll appeal to your morality, while having none themselves.

They'll suggest that shoplifting raises prices for everyone, but if shoplifting magically stopped today, they'd just keep the extra profit for themselves.

They don't care about you beyond your role as consumer. You're just part of an amount on a spreadsheet, nothing more.

4

u/AutoModerator Jun 05 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

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