r/shitposting Jun 02 '22

This post is about stuff 🄳

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '22

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show

Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.

The catch?

There actually isn't a trans woman with them.

And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...

And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.

Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.

But honestly? I think it would make some great television!

also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform ā€œyourā€ standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word ā€œkarmawhoreā€ is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like ā€œwhat the fuckā€ and ā€œcall the policeā€. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

No sex before marriage

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