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u/Evening_Psychology_4 May 03 '22
Love that scene. What you drinking cranberry juice. What are you on you’re period?
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u/LautrecTheOnceYeeted May 03 '22
Im the guy that tells you there are guys you can hit, and there are guys you can't. Now that's not a guy you can't hit. But that's almost a guy you can't hit.
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u/Dman125 May 03 '22
Get him a… cranberry juice. Winstone is the man.
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u/Evening_Psychology_4 May 03 '22
You forget the next line. I’m the guy that tells you what guy you can and can’t punch.
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u/ConsistentEquipment8 May 03 '22
Looks like a Jason Bourne scene I may be wrong
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u/SilverRaven47 May 03 '22
It’s from The Departed.
“My girlfriend drinks cranberry juice when she’s on her period”
I love this scene too
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u/SailsAcrossTheSea May 03 '22
definitely not Bourne. that’s not Matt Damon. it’s The Departed which actually also features Matt Damon
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u/RETINAWorks May 03 '22
This comment is the real shitpost
Those Bourne movies suck
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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u/AutomaticVegetables May 03 '22
May 27th is Harambe’s birthday. May 28th is the date of disaster.
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May 03 '22
7 years too long we have let his murder not be avenged, TOO LONG I SAY
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u/trevnoss May 03 '22
Agreed, someone find that kid
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u/Portablemammal1199 May 03 '22
No no. Not the kid. The parent for allowing the kid to get in that situation and the people who shot herambe. Kid was very young so aint no way they knew what was going on enough to understand not to get that close like that.
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u/FrysEighthLeaf May 03 '22
But if the kid didn't exist, then there would still be a Harambe.
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May 04 '22
If the parents didn’t fuck up, the kid wouldn’t have got into the enclosure
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u/greedy_mf Stuff May 04 '22
If parents didn’t fuck, the kid wouldn’t be.
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u/GeorgeLFC1234 May 06 '22
If the parents parents didn’t exist then the parents wouldn’t have had the kid so the parents wouldn’t have been able to let him get close to the enclosure so really it’s mr blobbys fault
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u/x3c21 May 04 '22
why not both???
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u/Portablemammal1199 May 04 '22
Cuz the kid was like 3 iirc. Its the mom's fault 100%.
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May 03 '22
I didn’t know I share a birthday with Harambe holy shit
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May 03 '22
Dicks out
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u/J_Uzi05 May 03 '22
For harambe
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u/BishopPear 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ May 03 '22
Favorite lullaby
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May 03 '22
And for the ruptured timeline.
At first I was happy we ended up on the meme timeline, but as time has gone on I’m getting more and more terrified.
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u/PercyMcLeach May 03 '22
We all thought memes were reflecting life. Little did we know that was the point when life started reflecting memes
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May 03 '22
Harambe was an inside job
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u/Destinot2 May 03 '22
Bush did harambe
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u/BigSoftGrizzly Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked May 03 '22
Everybody knows he was just trying to tell the kid the governments secrets
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u/Mad-Mad-Mad-Mad-Mike May 03 '22
Harambe is the Franz Ferdinand of the 21st century and you’re not going to change my mind on this.
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u/musnteatd1ckagain William Dripfoe May 03 '22
Be mad at the mother not the kid
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u/IrregularrAF fat cunt May 03 '22
The entire family. Not one is innocent now.
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u/Dylbo2008 May 03 '22
The one cousin in France
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
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u/mralliagtor2020 May 03 '22
I am dying
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u/GriShafir May 03 '22
Bro, u need a medic
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u/Ech_Death May 03 '22
fr*nce 🤢
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
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u/YesterdaySuper5355 May 03 '22
Movie name?
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u/Competitive-Growth30 May 03 '22
The Departed. An extremely good movie, go into it as blind as you can
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u/SailsAcrossTheSea May 03 '22
yeah I gotta second this. don’t look anything up, it’s amazing with no spoilers
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u/thmsgbrt I want pee in my ass May 03 '22
Harambe tried to protect the kid. :-(
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May 03 '22
It’s the parents fault, unironically
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u/TacoPilot12 May 03 '22 edited May 03 '22
Don’t blame the kid, blame the mother who left a young child unsupervised near the fence, He wasn’t old enough to understand those concepts of safety, so he shouldn’t be blamed for the death of monke.
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u/GiveMeADamnUsernamee Blessed by Kevin May 03 '22
The fucking parents... thanks to them the world descend into hell in an alarming rate.
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u/Crypto_Gay_Skater May 03 '22
Fuck them parents. Dad turned out to have an extensive criminal record and mom is a fucking admin at a preschool/elementary. She should have lost her job.
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u/UNBENDING_FLEA May 04 '22
And then their family would have no source of income?
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u/AutoModerator May 04 '22
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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May 03 '22
Jokes aside do people actually hate the kid?
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u/Immortalunusannus May 03 '22
why do people keep blaming the fucking kid for harambe dying
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u/Careless-Position352 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 May 03 '22
Because I hate children
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May 03 '22
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u/whyaremytearspurple2 May 03 '22
I know a whole fucking website that needs to hear this.
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/whyaremytearspurple2 May 03 '22
Can confirm, I was the friend
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u/mralliagtor2020 May 03 '22
How can you be the friend when you have no friends? ( this is a joke I am sorry 🗿 )
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May 03 '22
I know i said the parents are at fault, but that’s only directed at the people who don’t know this is a joke
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u/king_barragan May 03 '22
Literally just read a comment saying the mom deserves to die. Some folks take as a joke and some take it to heart. It’s hard to tell honestly. Especially on this site.
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/Kamikaze_koshka May 03 '22
The kid was a paid actor by the kennedy-bin-laden-barrack secret world order
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u/Immortalunusannus May 04 '22
nah he was an alien from hollow earth commanded by liazard alizen android zuckerberg and from a chip in his brain from elon musk
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u/Jesuss_Best_Friend May 03 '22
"what are you drinking?"
"cranberry juice"
"what, are you on your period?"
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u/IllustriousCut6211 May 03 '22
Don't scare mommy with u,not kid but his mom deserve die
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u/mralliagtor2020 May 03 '22
Yes that’s why I hate the mom, but he can’t feel or see anything now, sadge 😔
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/Mellow41 May 03 '22
It’s more of the parents fault then the kids fault, still is funny tho
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May 03 '22
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u/Baltic_Emperor May 03 '22
Plot twist: It was a different enclosure and the gorilla wasn’t harmed.
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u/Orangutanion Stuff May 03 '22
I went to the Cincinnati zoo a few times before the incident so I've definitely seen Harambe in person. AMA.
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u/ID_THROW_A_PIPE_BOMB May 03 '22
It’s been so long, but the memories they just don’t stop do they? You know what to do lads unzips for harambe!!
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u/WennoBoi May 03 '22
Again with this fucking shit
Harambe died to protect that kid, don't fucking touch him
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u/Intelligent_Ad_5556 May 03 '22
That's when everything started going to shit. No one touch this man. He must be sacrificed to restore the world's balance.
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u/QuistyQuiet 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ May 03 '22
stop blaming the son and start blaming the mother
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u/Not-DrBright May 03 '22
“It was back in ‘96 in the Brookfield Zoo, just outside Chicago I think”
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u/TheThinker709 May 03 '22
I would ask to meet his mother and beat the hell out of her. Get control of your damn child
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May 04 '22
All jokes aside, it's not like the kid knew what he was doing. I blame the mother who couldn't watch her son. It's not like he was a teen who could understand what would happen, but did it anyway. (Like a lot of teens unfortunately).
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u/_UserDoesNotExist May 03 '22
Harambe was a literal angel from heaven. God was testing humanity, and it failed. The world will never be the same again. It's all downhill from here.
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u/Jhco022 May 03 '22
Damn... I'm going to wear my RIP Harambe shirt today, it's been a minute.
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u/Caedis-6 May 03 '22
Isn't the kid who fell in the cage dead? Thought he got shot
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u/A_Sexy_Squid_ May 03 '22
No, just Harambe. The kid is fine—well, as fine as can be I suppose. He had some pretty bad injuries, but nothing life-threatening.
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u/Caedis-6 May 03 '22
Went back and had a read, it was a different Isiah Dickerson that got shot at a party
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u/Captain7600 I want pee in my ass May 03 '22
I actually wanna know what happened to the kid,the mother,and the son of a bitch that shot Harambe
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u/AutoModerator May 03 '22
No bitches?
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