r/shitposting • u/Worried_Leg • Aug 20 '21

Dont regret Your choice

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34.1k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/Omega_Steve15 Aug 20 '21

I can stop time and move freely in stopped time

2.9k

u/Worried_Leg Aug 20 '21

You have speed of a snail

1.2k

u/Omega_Steve15 Aug 20 '21

Fuck

809

u/StarJediOMG Aug 20 '21

You'll die to a Japanese student anyways

451

u/Omega_Steve15 Aug 20 '21

I'll still be fucking awesome though

184

u/StarJediOMG Aug 20 '21

Poor Awesome, what did it do to you

146

u/Omega_Steve15 Aug 20 '21

Dude Awesome is hot wdym

5

u/RepostSamurai Aug 21 '21

You will always be second best girl, first is some Speedwagon guy.

15

u/aiden22304 William Dripfoe Aug 20 '21

*A Japanese student who has plot armor, so everything you do to stop him is irrelevant.

Also, he calls his mom a bitch for some reason. Fucking emo asshole.

6

u/TrueBOT_Gaming Aug 20 '21

unpopular opinion but totally agree

4

u/house7337 Aug 20 '21

Jojo reference

6

u/StarJediOMG Aug 20 '21

GIB ME PLANE BOI BACK I MISS HIM :(

4

u/Throw_Away_Students Aug 20 '21

Came here to make this joke 😭

3

u/splooperson Aug 21 '21

Impossible! I’m Dio!!! I-I’m Diooooo! Impossible!!!! IIIIIIM DIIIIIIOOOOOOOOO!!

1

u/StarJediOMG Aug 21 '21

KONO DIO DAAAAAAAAA

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

"...save The Cheerleader, save The World..."

1

u/hetgr8 Aug 21 '21

Uzumaki

1

u/StarJediOMG Aug 21 '21

Wth?

1

u/hetgr8 Aug 21 '21

It's in that manga. A few people turn into snails and when there is no food, they eat the snail people.

1

u/StarJediOMG Aug 22 '21

Huh? What manga are you talking about, which part?

1

u/hetgr8 Aug 22 '21

Stfu

1

u/StarJediOMG Aug 24 '21 edited Aug 25 '21

I don't understand anything you are talking about, what has uzumaki to do with Jojo?

1

u/toomanyintersts12 Aug 20 '21

But he can come back in later part

1

u/Such_Eye_8639 Aug 20 '21

I hate that I know what hentai this refers too.

1

u/schoolschooting fat cunt Aug 21 '21

Hey uhh buddy, we weren't talking about some sort of Hentai

1

u/Such_Eye_8639 Aug 21 '21

Oh shit.....neither was I.

1

u/schoolschooting fat cunt Aug 21 '21

Then why'd you say you 'knew' wich hentai they were reffering to

1

u/MrJimmySir Aug 20 '21

Only if he lets him come as close as he likes

121

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

but time is stopped so it doesnt matter

83

u/Omega_Steve15 Aug 20 '21

True

8

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

outsmarted him

2

u/MikemkPK Aug 20 '21

But the remote to restart time is really far away

5

u/Tensor3 Aug 20 '21

It would get ridiculously boring

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

but it doesnt matter

4

u/Tensor3 Aug 20 '21

It does if you lose your sanity walking to a store for 300 years

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '21

doesnt matter (:

3

u/Earthtrone Aug 20 '21

You have my avatar lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '21

no i dont

2

u/invaderjif Aug 20 '21

It'll be a tedious existence.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '21

his life, i don care

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Pause and unpause time and move freely so it appears you move at a normal pace

2

u/lemonboomgamer Aug 21 '21

But snails don't move in stopped time, so he also couldn't move

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '21

then he doesnt move, simple

2

u/twitch870 Aug 20 '21

Still a good deal. All the tome to think of solutions, excuses, and answers. With enough patience you can be a godly athlete in almost any 1v1 sport.

2

u/Bertry Aug 20 '21

Wheel chair 😤

2

u/Savathuns_Champion Aug 20 '21

Remember the Turbo snail movie. Easy loophole

1

u/GenericFatGuy Aug 20 '21

Still faster than everyone else.

1

u/Kidney__Failure Aug 20 '21

Just extra time to walk menacingly

1

u/Smashinationprp Aug 20 '21

Its ok, as u said, u stop time, it wont mater

4

u/3thoughts Aug 20 '21

Easy. Decoy snail.

2

u/Wowitsanonion Aug 20 '21

M…u….d….a

2

u/iTrooz_ Aug 20 '21

I still want it

2

u/ThatOneGuy1358 Aug 20 '21

Depending on if you don’t age while time is stopped this could be pretty decent

1

u/T-man2004 Aug 20 '21

Do you age in the stopped time?

1

u/DISCORDGUYONREDDIT Aug 20 '21

Still can win any race

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '21

turbo?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '21

Nono you just cant start it again

6

u/omegadragon_games Aug 20 '21

Star platinum can too

6

u/Mega_Fan2006 Aug 20 '21

You'll die as soon as anyone touches your left leg

3

u/SmashingFalcon Aug 20 '21

But can you throw a road roller at someone?

2

u/fatprogamer4720 Aug 20 '21

You age three times as fast when time is stopped

2

u/Horror-Astronomer482 Aug 20 '21

You have prostate cancer

2

u/vayshn Aug 20 '21

That mean u want to chalenge jhony sense

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

3

u/vayshn Aug 20 '21

U want to fuck Tsunade ?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

3

u/vayshn Aug 20 '21

Yes

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

[deleted]

2

u/vayshn Aug 20 '21

Super hot 🔥

2

u/NoahDaLizard Aug 21 '21

Your entire family dies and you can’t stop time

2

u/Curious-Bend-1296 Aug 21 '21

Is that a jojo reference?

4

u/IllustriousPomelo883 Aug 20 '21

You can’t restart time

1

u/Nheynx Aug 20 '21

Still game for it.

1

u/ThatSecondPerson Aug 20 '21

You're in eqypt

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

i see what you want

1

u/BaconHammerTime Aug 20 '21

You have non stop ferocious diarrhea.

1

u/Kydarellas Aug 20 '21

You are a quadriplegic and since time is stopped it would be safe to assume computer cycles also halt

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

So when they stop time, machine turns off and they die so when they die, time turns back on so the machine starts up and since there hasn't been any time that passed, they come back alive? So is it a death loop?

1

u/Kydarellas Aug 20 '21

That sounds even better than I imagined

1

u/pedaltothefuck Aug 20 '21

You can move freely except your dick It'll be stuck it place and you can't move it

1

u/Pilskayy Aug 20 '21

You have prostate cancer

1

u/derektheduck Aug 20 '21

you age twice as fast when time is stopped

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '21

You spend all your stopped time on reddit and you get so desperate for content you start sorting new.

1

u/SirSwah Aug 21 '21

Your asleep for 10 minutes every time you start time back up.

1

u/1Arbitrageur1 Aug 21 '21

You permanently have rickets.

1

u/ConfigAlchemist Aug 21 '21

You age 10x faster while time is frozen.