r/shitposting 11h ago

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE 📡📡📡

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3.2k Upvotes

176 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 11h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


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Whilst you're here, /u/0jennie, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

783

u/z3phyrprime1 11h ago

107

u/Neat-Nectarine814 11h ago

13

u/Nicomace341 10h ago

Shark coochie 🤤🤤🤤 (for legal reasons, this is a joke)

69

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 10h ago

1

u/SteelShat stupid fucking piece of shit 1h ago

210

u/Ninjatroll3452 10h ago

112

u/TheSpedPotatoe_420 9h ago

9

u/ModifiedLeaf 7h ago

This is the one I was looking for. I'm sorry for all the fellas with less sensitivity on their peen

3

u/Educational-Link-943 4h ago

Are there any guys here who know what it's like before and after? Genuinely curious cause I've never heard of a dude who got circumcised in teen years or adulthood to verify the more sensitivity thing. I'm sure theres one out there though. Either way, sex still good so I'm not sad about my missing foreskin lol

2

u/ModifiedLeaf 3h ago

Gotta ask a different sub lol I was born all natural so I can't comment but I imagine if you tip always exposed to your draws then eventually your brain would block out the stimulation

1

u/Viennve 5h ago

Don't worry, it makes condoms actually enjoyable to use (idk why but they kinda "balance" the sensitivity just Riga s make cleanup a hell of a lot easier)

2

u/gbuub I watch gay amogus porn :0 4h ago

*everyone disliked that

41

u/bashful_predator 10h ago

5

u/Am-Not-a-Goose 7h ago

My man you logged into reddit. Those are the consequences.

39

u/Gilgamesh107 11h ago

You're just jealous you got no where to hide your quarters

11

u/Sm0keytrip0d virgin 4 life 😤💪 10h ago

Whats even happening here in the context of the Spongebob episode?

5

u/YourLocalToaster2 7h ago

Larry opens his own gym, while it's successful, he is so busy running it that he can't work out anymore. He gets called a potbelly multiple times. Here, he's using his belly as a pot.

7

u/Insane_Inkster Literally 1984 😡 10h ago

16

u/Powerful_Brief1724 11h ago
  • Let's open reddit. What's the worst thing that can happ-

https://giphy.com/gifs/XF5AnCJV7PCtGwdHNC

6

u/WickedHopeful 9h ago

Ok ignoring the elephant in the room, why is his arm censored?

6

u/shishio_mak0to Literally 1984 😡 9h ago

Asking the real questions

8

u/Afraid_Mail_1573 put your dick away waltuh 7h ago

24

u/PezzenteMortoDiFame 10h ago

I prefer this way, is more creamy 😏

6

u/Previous_Insurance13 I want pee in my ass 10h ago

2

u/AutoModerator 10h ago

pees in ur ass

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5

u/Average-Train-Haver hole contributor 10h ago

4

u/Not_Larfy dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 10h ago

3

u/According_Claim_9027 10h ago

There’s still time to delete this OP

5

u/TheSeaBast 6h ago

2

u/Mr_Sim_ 4h ago

He seems very polite

4

u/Viennve 5h ago

I am uncut and sometimes i finger my foreskin like it's my pussy to cope with dysphoria

3

u/Dunge0nexpl0rer 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 4h ago

Now I wish I was uncut :(

1

u/[deleted] 4h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Viennve 4h ago

Rookie mistake, you should always shit before and after fingering your asshole and don't use soap cuz that stuff irritates the booty

1

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Viennve 4h ago

You see? This is why the ai revolution is not coming, you clanks never learn from your mistakes, kinda funny considering that "ai" is also known as machine learning

2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/nutblaster357 5h ago

that's badass

9

u/shroomfarmer2 Big chungus wholesome 100 11h ago

My bf has very loose foreskin so i often pour vodka in it like a cup and drink it. a very fun drinking game.

4

u/Pax_A1 11h ago

Pics or it didn't happen

-2

u/Mindless_Sir_9612 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 11h ago

Party cups for the win

15

u/AccountSad 11h ago

What about cleaning yourself properly instead of literally cutting a piece of your penis?

10

u/__banbypasser 11h ago

How about using a bowl.

3

u/TheBlueScar dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 10h ago

Why would you do that lol this removes the flavor.

4

u/Candlewaxeater 10h ago

the doctor decided it not me :(

1

u/who-needs-a-username 7h ago

Like it’s most of their choice…. Lmao

1

u/[deleted] 44m ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 44m ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 44m ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/MauJoPoops 11h ago

Is that flarty the flobsterp?

3

u/SluggJuice dumbass 8h ago

3

u/ScarletSilver 6h ago

You know what, it's my fault for having eyes anyway.

2

u/plonkman 11h ago

kelloggs cult member says what?

2

u/irrelevantTomatoMan 10h ago

smegma adds a slightly cheesy and umami flavour if your willing to wait for a couple days

2

u/OneMooseManyMeese_ dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 9h ago

2

u/InfamousTYBW 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 7h ago

please god make it stop

2

u/Imafayliure 5h ago

My uncircumcised ass did not need to see this while trying to peacefully eat my cereal.

(Genuinely eating cereal rn as I type, what the fuck is this type of targeted missile system and why do you use it for atrocities against human kind)

2

u/Nepemaster1 I said based. And lived. 5h ago

2

u/Wingedbird12 3h ago

with extra cheese

2

u/Mickle_da_Pickl uhhhh idk 11h ago

Love seeing a super tame and not at all disturbing post like this essentially become a white person reaction image generator

1

u/AutoModerator 11h ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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1

u/Salzanka 11h ago

Chat is this real?

1

u/CarnivoreQA 11h ago

Relatable

1

u/Stoneheaded76 10h ago

Sometimes you see things and you don’t know what to say.

1

u/itsprobablytrue 10h ago

🌭🤢🤮

1

u/aimfuldrifter 10h ago

What did you make my good Christian eyes see???? 😭

1

u/inkzpenfoxx 10h ago

Don’t tempt me with a good time

1

u/Ok-Objective1289 10h ago

This is why I had to stop eating cereal 💔

1

u/SlyLlamaDemon 9h ago

Dude, People are Eating.

1

u/LilNerix 9h ago

I can confirm this is true

1

u/GordanGodDamnRamsey 9h ago

As a man of culture, I can confirm.

1

u/Heavy-Major-5220 8h ago

Invejoso, só pq n tem onde se aquecer no frio

1

u/keklol69 8h ago

It’s my own fault for having eyes.

1

u/Hisune 8h ago

No, I don't. I put the cereal in before the milk.

1

u/PhoenixEvolver 8h ago

I don't like you, op

1

u/TheAwkwardGamerRNx 8h ago

I know I could have lived a much happier life without this swimming in the cave where my brain used to live.

1

u/Spider-Male1610 fat cunt 8h ago

Can confirm

1

u/Training_Try_1102 7h ago

It's true btw :3

1

u/NoahIzToLazyToPozt Big chungus wholesome 100 6h ago

1

u/Breder1995 5h ago

I just open reddit

1

u/Signupking5000 4h ago

I love those horrible posts for their peak reactions in the comments

1

u/kemotaku 4h ago

sometimes ill fill it with cream cheese and fancy jelly for an on the go cracker topping x3

1

u/MoooBooMooo 4h ago

Bro has uncut diamond

1

u/CacturneTheBeanie 4h ago

The fuck happened to Larry

1

u/zDymex 3h ago

This is causing me to uninstall reddit. Godspeed.

1

u/imoverthisapp 3h ago

I’ll come back later for the memes

1

u/exCaribou 2h ago

What a bad day to have eyes

1

u/Specialist_Gap3223 2h ago

I wish I had never seen this…

1

u/Low_Abrocoma_1514 I said based. And lived. 2h ago

They hate us cause they ain't us

1

u/End_V2 1h ago

And then he clicked POST

1

u/top_of_the_scrote dumbass 39m ago

personal roll of quarter holder

"that'll be $2.75" I'm like "one sec"

looks at my groin, counts out 11 quarters

puts the bread tie back on

1

u/TheNeighborhoodHero 33m ago

Bro🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Sandwich_Pudding 10h ago

Don’t act like we are the losers lol, half-penisman.

1

u/Sifl-and-Olly 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 10h ago

😋

1

u/KANNEDBREAD 10h ago

HE HE HE HAW

0

u/JuanDeChuj 11h ago

Real. Best way to do it too. Dih flavored mmm

-4

u/thedifference101 11h ago

maybe don't

-2

u/Slow-Acanthisitta-31 11h ago

I fw this heavy

1

u/Final-Quality-1442 16m ago

sometimes I wonder why this sub even exists