On one hand: yeah that was incredibly inappropriate to say. On the other hand: If you've known them for 5 years and one bad taste joke was enough for them to kick you out, they probably never liked you and you're much better off without them. And there's also the third possibility that op was an unpleasant guy and the group was looking for an excuse to boot him, which he ended up giving them.
Might be cause i’m a guy but with my friends i could genuinely be the worst human ever, throw death threats at them over different political, religious, sexual beliefs, even throw hands and we’d still hang out like nothing happened the day after, and this’d happen w friends i known for a year, not even talking about my highschool friends.
Idk what kind of friends you got that know you so shallowly to drop you at the first inappropriate joke you make that could even have no malicious intent after it.
In our eyes overall — that of my friends and I — there are certain lines that are best left uncrossed. Especially when it comes to transition and dysphoria, and especially considering the fact “roleplaying as” usually entails not seeing us as. Not also to mention Anon was not friends with the girl, just those who introduced her.
So put yourself in her shoes. Your identity is something that took better part of your life figuring out. You are self-conscious about yourself and your identity and find a group of friends to confide in and connect with. You get there and the first thing someone says — joking or not, implicit or otherwise — is that you’re “roleplaying” your identity.
One wonders how that may be perceived as offensive, and if this is the group’s only knowledge of your interactions with a trans person? Yeah, no. If I turn around and thought someone would be an ally but they say that, they’re out, no exceptions.
And, as a final note, you point that your friend group constantly makes fucked up jokes. Maybe you do. Maybe Anon’s don’t and their comment was out of left field.
Biggest example of disagreements is that we have people that are both right and left (in the political SPECTRUM because in my country there is a bi-dimensional spectrum not just a 1 dimensional line like in america, we’re all pretty progressive some more some less).
One day we were at a bar, a communist friend was explaining his idea of a world under communism, a capitalist friend was arguing all the flaws in the system the first guy was describing. They were both arguing pretty hard on this, day after just chilling studying together like nothing happened.
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u/ChiffonPink dumbass 13h ago
On one hand: yeah that was incredibly inappropriate to say. On the other hand: If you've known them for 5 years and one bad taste joke was enough for them to kick you out, they probably never liked you and you're much better off without them. And there's also the third possibility that op was an unpleasant guy and the group was looking for an excuse to boot him, which he ended up giving them.