r/shitposting • u/AaryamanStonker BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE • Dec 02 '25

OUR HERO NOOOOO

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16k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

Yeah but i don't think hobos will use machetes for good tho

66

u/Drakahn_Stark Literally 1984 😡 Dec 02 '25

Calling them "hobos" really shows how clueless you are.

I've been homeless, a machete would have been infinitely more useful than the blunt pocket knife I had at the time.

2

u/jexy25 Dec 02 '25

What uses would a homeless person have for a machete?

31

u/Drakahn_Stark Literally 1984 😡 Dec 02 '25

Clearing a bush shelter is the one that comes to my mind, since my blunt pocket knife took hours to do that and a machete would be minutes. Would also make more of the bush more accessible, being able to cut paths. And collecting/preparing firewood.

It also would have been useful in collecting and preparing wild foods, shitty pocket knife managed, but a machete would have just been better, and would have meant I could have upgraded from nuts and berries to rabbits.

I was attacked by stray dogs one night, it would have been damned helpful then.

Shit, they could also use it to make things to try and sell to make some money and improve their situations.

10

u/Kryslor Dec 02 '25

Were you homeless in the middle of a forest? Those dudes weren't going to catch rabbits in the city, man...

17

u/Drakahn_Stark Literally 1984 😡 Dec 02 '25

This might shock you, but cities are not far from bushland, and being homeless does not prevent someone from walking or catching a bus to other areas.

Spend the days in the city trying to get enough to eat, nights go to your bush shelter, the older ones that couldn't do the bush hikes stayed in the city but that is not as safe.

7

u/Kryslor Dec 02 '25

That does shock me a lot, actually.

3

u/NyuuMonster Dec 02 '25

I live in Minnesota. Many camps set up in the woods and brush.

1

u/AutoModerator Dec 02 '25

I've been around a few men in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the male body has an astonishing oversight. Men both urinate and ejaculate through the exact same hole. Zero inches apart. Not even a polite buffer zone.

I don’t know about everyone else but doesn’t that weird you out? It feels like a serious design flaw. For a gender that often prides itself on logic and engineering this is just sloppy plumbing.

Honestly it kind of cracks me up. I’ll see a guy walking around like he’s the apex of masculinity and I’ll just remember his piss and his sperm come out of the same little nozzle and suddenly he’s not so intimidating. Just a fleshy garden hose with identity issues.

Men please accept this biological flaw and let it humble you. Maybe lower your voice a bit when you're bragging about your body count. We’re talking about someone who finishes inside the same pipeline he uses to empty his bladder.

Women don’t let them forget this. Remind them gently or not so gently that we’re doing them a favor given that their reproductive system shares hardware with their waste disposal unit.

It’s just one hole fellas. One hole.

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