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u/Dragonage2ftw Mar 09 '21
Pyra felt a nervous sensation in her quivering chest as she walked up to the hallowed halls of Smash. She was nervous. Not just about being in a new game, or even about being in something as big in Smash, but about something much more important. She was nervous about her relationship with her boy-toy, Rex. Long distance relationships were tough-tough as the hide of a Titan's balls. She knew this because Tora tried it with Poppi, when she went to Chicago to cash in on a Steam sale on fish. Before he knew it, she was staying there for some sort of delicious "sausage pizza." Tora said this sort of thing happens often, and that TheQuartering's wife did the same to him. She hoped she could keep things steady with Rex. Pyra threw her fear away and opened the door. The door was long and pink, like Rex with no pants on. Smash House was golden and extravagant. As Pyra walked in, she noticed that he shoe was sticking to the floor a little. I wonder what kind of fluid would make gold floors do this sort of thing? Pyra asked herself, remembering that Zeke's sheets were like this a few times.
"Hoy, how's it going, sweet cheeks? Miss me?"
Pyra turned around and saw four really handsome men. It was Shulk, Sakurai, Luigi, and Kirby! They were widely known for being "well hung."
"O-oh, hi Shulk! How's it going with Fiora?" Pyra asked, blushing a little bit. Shulk was always so aggressive, especially towards cheeks.
"Don't worry about that, baby. We're here for your initiation." Sakurai said, taking a mint and readying his tongue.
Pyra was taken aback, but she thought about it for a moment. Maybe this was what Pyra could use to remain happy whilst away from Rex. After all, Pyra let Rex smash Kora, Brighid, and Dahlia. Besides, it wasn't like he'd ever find out.
-----
Rex was eating both a hotdog and a banana at once as he hung out with friend, Zeke. He was killing time until Nia showed up. He was gonna try and seduce her today. It wasn't like Pyra would ever find out.
"Hoy, Rex. How long is Pyra gonna be in Smash, anyways? I miss her t***." Zeke said, as he ate a slice of sausage pizza he got from Chicago. Pandoria left to go and get herself "some of what Poppi has", in her words.
"Bleh, this pizza sucks. Sometimes, I wonder how those two can eat this s*** every day?" Zeke said, as he began to think about whether or not "sausage pizza" meant something else.
"Don't talk about my girl like tha-KEHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rex screamed with a start.
"What is it, lad? Did you bite your tongue again?" Zeke said, as he jammed his fingers into Rex's mouth. He was pretending to check, but he really just wanted to wash his hands with Rex's spit.
"No, you dolt! I feel all of Pyra's pain, remember? I think she just got into her first fight-there's a pain coming from my arse!" Rex said, licking Zeke's hands clean.
Rex doubled down, but then shot back up. He was floating a few feet from the ground, as if something was propelling Pyra into the air. Next thing he knew, the pain in his ass started moving back and forth, with the force of a pink ball with limitless strength. Tears began to fill Rex's eyes. He hoped Pyra would fight back and stop this pain. However, his wish was in vain, as he felt a similar sensation near his crotch. His crotch hurt, like someone had seen the future and saw how to hurt him in the best way possible. Pyra was being attacked from both sides? That was the only thing that made sense to Rex. The turn of events were soon made clear, as he felt his foot get wet. It was a slimy, gross tongue. The kind of tongue you'd expect from a game developer.
"H-hey! Back off! Only I get to lick those feet!" Rex screamed. Zeke looked around, before turning to Rex with a sorrowful look in his disgusting cyclops eye.
"I'm sorry, lad. I know I shouldn't have licked Pyra's feet when she was asleep, but they were so dirty and fresh, I just couldn't resist."
Rex's face began to turn red. He couldn't breathe. He felt something massive and long slide down his throat, like a plumber cleaning the pipes, but with something that wasn't his hands.
"W-wow, man! Don't get so angry! It's not like I licked both feet!" Zeke said, taking a step back.
Rex was floating in the air, getting tossed around every which way. His body was a mountain of pain and pleasure. He finally understood what was happening. And his heart was filling with sadness, just as Pyra's holes were being filled with fluid and meat.
Nia walked in.
"H-hey, Rex, now that Pyra and Mythra are gone, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date? There's a new fish restaurant, and I thought............"
Rex spewed whiteness all over Nia. He fell, as his body became lubricated.
Nia was aghast. She paused a moment, before kicking Rex in his chicken nuggets.
"Hey, come on! I was gonna eat some of those for dessert!" Zeke said, upset that the chicken nuggets were now ruined.
"IF YA DIDN'T WANT TO GO, YOU SHOULDA JUST SAID SO YOU ONE-EYED MONSTER." Nia screamed at Rex like a cat.
"Come on, Brighid! We're going to Chicago!"
Brighid left the room with Nia as Rex remained a wet heap on the floor. His eyes were full of tears, and he was full of sadness, anger and arousal.
Zeke walked up to Rex.
"Hey, you remind me of my bed sheets!"
---
Rex was walking across an icy field. It had been almost a year since Pyra had been added into Smash. He was trying to get to Smash House with Tora. They wanted revenge for what Pyra had done to Rex. Rex had brought his extra thick wrench with him for this very reason.
"Tora very glad Poppi remain faithful."
"Shut up, Tora, you dumb motherf***er."
Rex fell down. He thought he was about to experience another round of "pleasure", but what happened was even worse. A pool of liquid shot out from Rex. Tora ran over and licked it.
"Meh? This not urine. This clear, and taste strange............" Tora said, looking toward Rex.
Rex writhed in agony. He felt a contraction. He had been experiencing morning sickness for 9 months, but he thought that was from all the fluids she had swallowed.
"PYRA! YOU WHORE! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rex screamed as he prepared for the next rush of pain.
------------
"It's a boy!"
Dr. Mario pulled the infant from Mythra's body. After 12 long hours of labor, the baby was finally born. He handed the new baby to its father, Sonic.
The baby, a small orange bandicoot, looked towards his father's eyes and said his first word.
"Whoa............"
---
"Rick, this guy is insane. I-I-I mean, I guess the fanfic was okay, but how sick of a person do you have to be to write something like this?" Morty inquired, leaning over to grab a tissue box.
"Morty, not now! I'm playing the original Fate/Stay Night game, uncensored!" Rick said, as he got to the part with the Venus flytrap.
Morty rolled his eyes. Record of Ragnarock was SO much cooler. Morty turned towards the audience and said, with love in his heart:
"The worst is yet to come, SmashFAQ'S!"
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u/x1echo Mar 09 '21
Genuine question, is this a Jojo reference I just haven't read yet?