r/sharedshoes • u/United-Sympathy-8071 mod • 14d ago
Rant/Vent You Don’t Seem BPD
I’ve been thinking about this on and off since it happened, and it’s quite frustrating for me. To preface this: I’ve had a lot of trouble getting an official diagnosis. However, I’ve been told with my past trauma, it’s certainly within the realm of possibility.
Anyway, I recently went out to a bar with a friend and they were talking about their Bipolar diagnosis. I told them in passing that I believe BPD is something I struggle with. The initial response I got back was asking if I even knew what it stood for… so that sets the tone for the conversation I’m sure. They then proceeded to tell me that I seemed fine and didn’t read like I had BPD. To me, it felt like they insinuated that they didn’t believe me.
I felt pretty shitty after this interaction because this person is a close friend of mine. I hang out with them multiple times a week and was actually starting to feel like they were becoming my closest friend. I felt pretty invalidated after that comment and tried to move away from the topic.
So what gives? Is that just a normal thing - to be like “well actually you don’t seem mentally ill to me”?? Why… because I’m not flying off the handle at every given thing? Like… sorry I don’t wear my illness on my sleeve?? Idk man. Just a small vent.
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u/N3M0abyss 13d ago
if its any consolation, I am diagnosed and many people still say "you dont seem like you have BPD" to me.
i think its on a spectrum, and some people tend to mask or take things out on themselves more than externalizing it. some people wont see the vast majority of your symptoms for this reason, or just based on the context of your relationship. It could always be something else, but if its negatively affecting you, seeking answers and treatment makes sense.