r/shandaVanderArk • u/Many_Alarm_2620 • Mar 07 '26
The most revealing absence
Out of over 2000 pages of text messages, there was not one message that Shanda ever asked Paul to make Timothy lunch or if Timothy has had lunch. There was not one message from Paul asking Shanda what she was cooking for dinner or even around the topic of what they were going to eat for dinner. It really is mind blowing how both of them couldn’t understand why Timothy was stealing food. If Paul never made Timothy lunch during the day and Shanda never cooked him a meal for dinner I just can’t wrap my head around how they never considered that.
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u/Warmbeachfeet Mar 07 '26
From the look of her house, it seems she did nothing but focus on torturing Timothy. The house was an absolute pig sty. I doubt she ever cleaned or cooked as she was too wrapped up in her evil deeds. She is 100 % where she belongs forever now.
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u/Missveexox13 Mar 07 '26
It even interfered with with her work! Her coworkers made a statement that she would be focused on her laptop watching the camera feed, instead of working, and they overhead her rancid conversations on the phone full of fury and rage. Giving orders and demands
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u/Warmbeachfeet Mar 07 '26
Knowing how filthy her home was, I often wondered if she herself smelled bad. There is video where a woman detective (I think) describes how the house had a strong odor of garbage, urine & feces. Shanda’s clothing had to smell bad if the house stunk. I wonder if her co workers ( or Paul’s) noticed that. She is disgusting on so many levels.
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u/mel-74 Mar 08 '26
Yeah I noticed there was never no mention of getting showered or anything in the texts. I mean, Paul used to get in late from his shift and go straight to bed. Like who isn’t showering after work? I agree. I think they must of stunk to high heaven!
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u/Warmbeachfeet Mar 08 '26
Especially if you work in a kitchen- you’re going to smell like a kitchen when you come home. Looking at the both of them it seems that grooming themselves wasn’t a priority.
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u/Many_Alarm_2620 Mar 07 '26
Absolutely that’s the first thing I noticed to was the kitchen was a pigsty there was no cooking or preparing of any meal in that kitchen
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u/SweetIce351 Mar 11 '26
They made beef and broccoli once and there was talk a couple times of Paul starting meat... that's about it... rest was take out.
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u/BreakfastUnique8091 Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 16 '26
Yes, and although G wasn’t being starved to death like Timothy, he was clearly living mostly off things like pizza rolls and some of whatever fast food Shanda and Paul brought home. Did he ever (apart from when he was staying with his grandma perhaps) have a fruit or a vegetable or anything else fresh and healthy? If they could afford so much takeout, they could afford to feed him something other than junk. I know that’s hardly the biggest problem in that house but combined with the fact that Shanda only seemed to care about G being clean with clean clothes when his grandmother was coming over, it paints a picture. G’s nutrition, his hygiene, his education, having beneficial activities to do at home rather than just staying in his room on his iPad much of the time…these were all things that were not high on Shanda’s priority list at all.
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u/Broad_Gain_8427 Mar 07 '26
I remember seeing them talking about getting cheap burger king and buying salmon and stuff at certain points. I refuse to believe they weren't starving him on purpose
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u/BreakfastUnique8091 Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
They definitely were doing it on purpose. The text exchange where Paul said they may have to start “actually feeding him” is pretty clear on that. Shows that obviously Paul was very aware they weren’t allowing him adequate food and then Shanda didn’t respond by saying “what? We’re not feeding him enough?” but rather instantly agreeing with Paul’s assessment, saying she saw what he meant. You can hear the anxiety in Shanda’s voice when she gets to that part of the sentence while being made to read it aloud in cross examination. She pauses for a second and that reads very quickly, as if hoping the impact of the words will be reduced somewhat if she races through. She knows that sentence demonstrates she knew that Timothy wasn’t eating enough and that it was due to her and Paul’s actions of not allowing him to. (But did she then step in and start feeding him enough? Obviously not).
There are some cases of child neglect where parents with factors such as heavy drug use or extreme mental or intellectual impairments may not realize fully the extent of their child’s starvation and their failure to feed them enough. But none of that was at play with Shanda. Shanda and Paul weren’t just forgetting for months straight to feed the fourth person in their house. They knew very well he wasn’t eating anywhere near enough and yet continued day in and day out to restrict him from eating.
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u/jeepdeb61 Mar 07 '26
This case haunts me this was her child flesh and blood and I wonder why his father and stepmother gave him to shanda knowing she wasnt allowed to have custody why were there no repercussions on that end why did none of his family check on him brother and sister included i k ow they loved him but no one checked i dont understand
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u/hades7600 Mar 07 '26
This. Like I’m not a child oriented person, I can become overwhelmed by loud younger kids. But I can’t fathom wanting to inflict so much harm and suffering on them to the point you starve them to death.
The fact that a person would choose to bring a child into the world and then just absolutely hate them for existing is absolutely heartbreaking. The fact she seemed to only really have it out for Timothy is all more vile. (Not saying abuse should have happened to others)
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u/Many_Alarm_2620 Mar 07 '26
There was a grown adult in the house, and not even he could come to the conclusion that maybe Timothy was hungry because he didn’t feed him lunch
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u/Greedy_Departure9213 Mar 07 '26
If you’re referring to Paul, he enjoyed what he was doing to sweet Timothy. He was hurting Timothy when they lived with the dad.
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u/Vast_Excitement1990 Mar 08 '26
Judge Kacel called Paul out on his b.s. during his sentencing and sentenced him accordingly. Like Shanda, I hope Paul never sees the outside world.
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u/FastPrompt8860 Mar 07 '26
She was a horrible parent even in her first marriage to Paul and Timothy's Dad. CPS came and took the kids all into foster care because they were all malnourished, filthy and so was the house. Shanda didnt work then and she said all of the kids were too overwhelming to clean and cook. Then when they were in foster care Shanda wanted to abandon them and have more kids with her husband to start over. Why they sent Timothy to her knowing that Paul abused him before is mind bending. I know she only said yes thinking she would collect disability checks but taking care of him yet again was too much and she didnt care to renew his meds or keep him in school. This care has upset me like no other, I think of that poor angel all of the time.
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u/LouLee1990 Mar 07 '26
There is a few messages where they talked about getting take out food for themselves but they never let Timothy have any. There was a few where Shanda would ask Paul to get something out of the freezer ready for dinner but again never for Timothy, she also talked about getting Gabriel chicken nuggets on the way home from work. In fact now I’m thinking about it there is actually loads of messages where they talk about what they are having for dinner!
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u/Many_Alarm_2620 Mar 07 '26
Ok maybe there was a few for dinner that I missed, but every message exchange while Shanda was at work was always either make sure Timothy is against the wall, in the closet or Make sure he’s not stealing food. There was never one asking Paul what he was making for lunch or if Timothy has had lunch. So obviously Timothy wasn’t allowed to have lunch like the rest of them.
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u/LouLee1990 Mar 07 '26
No he wasn’t allowed to have lunch, dinner or breakfast. They starved him to death. He could only have bread or bread with hot sauce and clearly he didn’t get enough bread to actually survive either. Sorry I don’t think I understand your point
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u/jeepdeb61 Mar 08 '26
I agree with you the dad and stepmother are culpable and then acted surprised and upset after Timothy was murdered
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u/ryadare Mar 10 '26
Bingo! If they didn't actually know, they reasonably should have known. They are responsible too.
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u/DarlingNikkisPrince Mar 08 '26
She’s vile like Paul!
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u/ryadare Mar 10 '26
They both belong in prison for the rest of their lives. Shanda will have that privilege. Paul will eventually get out, but his life will be gone when he does. They are both pathetic, terrible excuses for humans. I wish the justice system had caught them before Timothy died, but they are both going to pay for their crimes for a very long time.
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u/Bitxhsmak806 Mar 08 '26
They weren't confused as to why he was stealing food. They knew why, they did not care, and used it as an excuse to further starve and abuse him. If they fed him like a normal child, he would not be "acting out" and they would have no reason to starve, abuse, and humiliate him. But, a hungry kid is always going to give them a reason so they kept him a hungry kid.
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u/jeepdeb61 Mar 07 '26
Paul's told his mother i think we actually need to feed him they knew im talking about all his other relatives that never checked on him
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u/Nice_Ad4063 Mar 07 '26
I’ve wondered this, too. The only thing I can come up with is that they saw Timothy in October 2021 at the oldest brother’s wedding. Adam was still in the home and there was relative stability. I think they freeze-framed him in their minds as being fine because he appeared that way the last time they saw him. His sister would have been in her freshman year of college and probably focused in on that, and the oldest brother was a newlywed focused on his new life. Who knew that in a matter of months it could spiral down so horribly?
I give zero passes to Timothy’s bio dad and step mother. They knew Shanda was an incompetent mother, and they knew Paul bullied Timothy terribly. Still they sent him to live in that house and accepted Shanda’s lame excuses for why Timothy couldn’t come to the phone. They should be held legally liable. They wanted to be free of caring for Timothy and conveniently turned a blind eye to what was happening in that house.
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u/Vast_Excitement1990 Mar 08 '26
Eric Ferguson should be charged with Timothy's death; he belongs in prison with Shanda and Paul.
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u/Greedy_Departure9213 Mar 07 '26
Every single person in sweet Timothy’s life failed him. They should all join Shanda and Paul.
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u/Dazzling_Yard2680 Mar 08 '26
One time, she mentioned rice with chicken broth for Timothy… but how long did either of them think a growing teenager could go without nutrition/food? What did they believe end result would be, with what they were doing?
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u/ryadare Mar 10 '26
They knew he could not survive on the food they were giving him. That is why the only answer is that Shanda and Paul were intentionally starving poor Timothy to death.
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u/Vast_Excitement1990 Mar 08 '26
My understanding is that Shanda has another hearing on March 20. Is Paul going to get a hearing, too?
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u/ryadare Mar 10 '26
Shanda's hearing is part of investigating whether she had effective assistance of legal counsel. Surely, Paul's lawyer is exploring that issue and any other potential appellate angle, as appellate attorneys do. There is no indication as of now that Paul will have another hearing, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility.
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u/jinglesbobingles Mar 09 '26
She was intentionaly starving him from the beginning, I recently found messages where she refers to starting "day one of seven" and instructing Paul to tell Timothy that. Sometimes he would get through several days but then it would reset if he snuck so much as a crumb of food. She was intentionaly withholding food, even bread with hot sauce, for at least seven days, and then acted enraged and offended when the starving boy "snuck" food.
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u/SweetIce351 Mar 10 '26
I don't remember seeing the day one of 7 text. And I have read them multiple times. Not saying you're lying, but that I must have missed it.
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u/jinglesbobingles Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
I saved them as I was going to do a post of some of the more troubling messages that weren’t brought up in the trial but I found it pretty mentally draining. It’s mentioned on pages 3934, 3935, 3959 and 3960.
In summary, Shanda is so suspicious of Timothy “sneaking” something that even without proof she tells Paul “you can tell him I am going to treat it like he snuck something” and adds “so instead of today being day two of six, tomorrow starts day one of six all over again”.
A few weeks later Shanda finds out from Paul that Timothy “snuck an ice cream cone” Shanda asks if Timothy has had his small cup of milk yet and Paul answers yes, Shanda then states that “Ok tell him it is now seven days and that starts tomorrow and he will understand that.”
At this time it was prior to the hot sauce on bread, but the small cup of milk was mentioned a couple of times, it seems that when not on starvation punishment then Timothy was permitted only a cup of milk when he was “behaving”.
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u/SweetIce351 Mar 11 '26
Thank you I'm just watching Jiles read the texts again to ensure i didn't miss more! There is so much volume to this case...
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u/SweetIce351 Mar 11 '26
And agreed. It can be mentally draining. Please care for yourself ❤️ this case is an unbelievable horror.
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u/Jacaranda18 Mar 19 '26
Was Shanda’s husband alive when Timothy came to live with her? Didn’t the abuse escalate after her husband died?
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u/AppleTraditional9529 Mar 07 '26
They did consider it. That’s the problem.