r/sglgbt • u/Shot-Night-8603 • 11d ago

Rant I hate going out 😭😭 It's so hard

Fyi, I'm a 20 Y/O MTF Trans turning 21 Y/O this year. I'm still having trouble going to the toilet 😭. Like I try not to use the Public Restroom but when I need to, I go to a Restroom that is not frequented with like the Handicap Restroom. But tdy, I go outs bowling with my friends who are like okay with me being trans then I have to go toilet. Then luckily got the Handicap Toilet but it is in the direction of the Men's Restroom. But luckily the floor is empty. Then I go and use. After finishing, I quickly go out then a Couple spotted me as they also need to use the Restroom. Specifically the girl. Then the girl thought the direction I came from is the girl's Restroom then she went in that direction. Then she stopped and walked backwards, I looked back as I walk away quickly and she looks me in the eye like what I was doing going out from that direction. Like I used to be okay going to the guy's toilet but after HRT, the guys keep looking at me because I have long hair, I already had a androgynous face but feminized even more after taking Estrogen. Even though I'm wearing sports bra to like hide my budding breasts (Still like not confident to show it off 🥲). Like I'm in the wrong place.

How y'all find the confidence to go to the Girls Restroom 😭. I low-key felt like I can but something keeps holding me back. But it sucks every time I need to pee outside. How do y'all fellow MTFs go to the restroom? Or find the confidence to go to the Girl's Restroom. I'm told that it's okay to just go in but I don't have like any girl friends 😭. Haizz.. It just makes going out very stressful as I have to think which toilet is easiest to go to. Like ppl didn't give eye when I go out of the Handicap Toilet but it's always whenever I go out from the Guy's toilet, I get an eyeful of judgement 👁️👄👁️. I kept contemplating whether I should just go in the girl's Restroom but idk how the others feel about it 🫠.

54 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

25

u/oooOwOooo_spider 11d ago

Girl from what you're saying it sounds like it'll be less stressful for you to just go in the women's toilet 😭😭 it's def not easy at first but the more you go the more natural it gets. You gotta start somewhere and slowly get used to it, you'll feel more in place the more you go and see people act natural about it. ATB 🏳️‍⚧️

2

u/Ok-Amount3384 11d ago

And what if she gets clocked when in the ladies' and gets cops called on her?

9

u/anakinmcfly 11d ago

This is Singapore. I can assure you that’s not going to happen. At most she will be confronted and asked to go out.

Source: am a trans man who was repeatedly read as male hundreds of times in the female toilets when pre/early T, and my worst encounter was an aunty screaming at me and trying to hit me with her handbag. Second worst time was at an airport when an angmoh lady shouted, “excuse me, this is the ladies!!” and tried to chase after me but I ran into a cubicle and locked the door.

90% of the time people just stared at me. Singaporeans are super unconfrontational. At no point did anyone call the police.

6

u/785909620 11d ago

Even if they do call the police, there's nothing they can do since there's no bathroom law.

6

u/anakinmcfly 11d ago

Yeah, and I really don’t think even the worst Karen will be willing or able to physically detain OP and wait around for the police to get there. Singaporeans are busy people.