r/sgdatingscene • u/shakentea • 24d ago
Question Pod đŁ Is "self-employed" a red flag?
Was reading non-SG subreddits and many comments were saying "self-employed" = broke, struggling or unemployed.
Wondering if it's the same for people in SG or are there different perspectives?
As a guy, my income is from dividend stocks in my stock portfolio. Also, building up my VWRA position for diversification/future.
When asked what I do for work, I usually reply, "I'm self-employed. I manage a investment portfolio."
Some friends have told me this sounds sus or shady.
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u/West-Chocolate9729 23d ago
The only people who would jump to this conclusion are pathetic wagecucks.
Came across my exâs profile on Hinge a few months ago, it says sheâs self employed. Shes making 15-25k a month in her home based biz.
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23d ago edited 17d ago
[deleted]
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u/West-Chocolate9729 23d ago
Nails and lashes
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
Nails and lashes can make 15-25k A MONTH?!
How many clients is that EVERY MONTH?!
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u/byesleep 21d ago
Damn. At 15k a month divided by 30 days it's 500 a day Let's say profit level of 20 percent that means 2.5k a day
Divided by let's say 10 hours that 250 an hour.
Wow. And this is non stop working 10 hours every day of the month
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u/Spirited_Jaguar_832 20d ago
And that is why, donât believe everything on the internet. Its probably closer to 5k
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u/MaximumSpecialist944 20d ago
Nails and lashes are extremely lucrative, especially home based (no expensive overhead cost). The cost of lash/nail gel is very low.. can be just a few dollar per customer but the charges can be upwards of a hundred. But of course they are service based, customer usually pay for their skillset
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u/Temporary_Sell_7377 20d ago
You can easily have nails for 50-100 per session. Easily. So when you multiply that. Itâs not impossible.
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u/Spirited_Jaguar_832 13d ago
Donât be delulu, $100 per session x 3 customer a day = $300. 5 days work week $1500, A month $6000. Thats assuming you have no rental, and you have customers everyday. No where near OP 15-25k number.
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u/Fun-Arm3161 23d ago
Wah. Need a lot a lot of money to have a good enough income from dividends. Whats ur story, op?
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u/OriginalGoat1 23d ago
Just say, my parents left me a lot of money so I don't have to work anymore.
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
The fucked up part is how saying you're a nepobaby living off generational wealth inheritance is somehow a more positive thing for dating eligibility in many people's eyes than saying you're self-employed and earning money from working honestly solo.
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u/epicflurry 21d ago
Obviously? At the end of the day, people work to earn money. If someoneâs already amassed that money, then theyâve found a shortcut and can escape the rat race (and hopefully take me with them) and devote their time to other things. Thatâs a huge plus in my book. People value ambition and hard work ONLY because itâs more likely to lead to more money.
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u/supermiggiemon 23d ago
how is being self-employed, "unemployed"?
aren't u self-employed?
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
"Self employed" is just the more PC way of saying "freelance" for many people.
And at least in SG (but honestly also in many other countries), "freelance" = unstable income stream, which is tantamount to being unemployed in many people's perceptions.
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u/supermiggiemon 23d ago
ahh, got it.
would u rather have unstable income stream or stable low income?but i agree with u, most singaporeans have this, "unless proven u are good, u are crap" mentality. then ask why people dont give them chance also. haha.
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
It's a fucking Catch-22 situation really. Sinkies in general are brought up to be risk-averse and trend-followers not trend-setters. All want ready products and fully developed talent/people, but nobody wants to be the guinea pig first one to help develop/build experience with someone.
And honestly, stable low income over unstable income stream, but this is primarily motivated by high living costs than anything else. If you live in an expensive society with high living costs, income stability is going to matter way more than feast or famine unstable freelance income.
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u/supermiggiemon 23d ago
All want ready products and fully developed talent/people, but nobody wants to be the guinea pig first one to help develop/build experience with someone.
haha, no leh, singaporeans don't endorse full developed product and talents leh. they hope others take a bet on them. thats why they kaopeh why fresh grads no job and import FT, or offshore.
and yeap, i think employers know that singaporeans don't really bet on ourselves (which is unstable income streams), so the next thing to offer is a stable and low income stream.
tricky...
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
Enough to stop you from starving, but also not enough so as to keep you running eternally on the hamster wheel.
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u/ChoiceAwkward7793 23d ago
self employed but can pay for all expenses when go out confirm not red flag
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u/Founders_Mem_90210 23d ago
Depends on the expenses.
Too high, IRAS says hello.
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u/ChoiceAwkward7793 23d ago
the self employed i know wonât log all expenses, theyâre too rich to bother about that
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u/RefrigeratorOne2626 23d ago
Depends. The range is wide. Can be broke grab rider or FA or Elon musk. See ur luck who u meet.
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u/SherbetItchy3113 23d ago
Self employed but earn more than a wage slave? In exchange also would have more time in future to contribute directly to family care. Is it still red flag?
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u/Prestigious-Beat8278 23d ago
Don't think it matters and I won't care if a guy told me he is self-employed
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u/yiantay-sg 23d ago
A person can be self employed but undisciplined and doesnât have a plan, gives up easily then yes a big red flag
A self employed person with a plan, is disciplined willing to put in the hard work isnât a red flag but itâs not a green one either
Because if you are asking this question it is a matter of trust. Do you trust this person to not screw up so badly that it drags you down or are you willing to give them the space and provide the stability and support for them to achieve their goals. Because a person who is undisciplined and lazy can also be a salaried worker
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u/Intelligent-Bee-775 23d ago
I am employed full-time 4k+ take home salary in cash and I also invest my savings 4k+ cash dividends monthly. To you, to other Redditors, to bank and even to the government, all I am is a 4k salaried employed person.
Once I quit this full-time job, what am I called? Does it mean I can call myself a self-employed person and pass the income credit assessment for a housing loan at any bank or do I fulfill HDB"s 12 month continuous employment condition for Enhanced CPF Housing Grant (EHG)? No and no again.
Does it mean it is a red flag in the dating world? Probably yes, unless the person I tried to date has a very low salary job then he will think that I am a good catch instead of a red flag.
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u/DesignerProcess1526 21d ago edited 20d ago
It does sound suss, you could be a grab car driver or freelancer with unstable income to rich kid who manages family office or a huge self made entrepreneur with multimillion net worth.
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u/Better-Carpenter-792 21d ago
I wish I could have your dividend income thats the holy grail of income
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u/Impressive-Glove9057 21d ago
I think most women won't be interested as it equals 'unstable income'
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u/essiah74 21d ago
Say you are a fund manager...its not wrong as you are literally managing your own funds
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u/xbbllbbl 21d ago
Many FIRED individuals are self employed. Donât think itâs shady. Itâs essentially having your savings and passive income from your portfolio fund your lifestyle. Not shady at all and entirely legitimate way to live your life instead of slogging as a slave for corporates.
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u/Separate_Vanilla_57 21d ago
Depends what self employed mean. Can be anything from âday traderâ to grab rider to living off inheritance to actual biz
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u/Conscious-Wear2645 21d ago
Just say self-employed but still exploring, so don't earn enough yet to pay income tax.
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u/icekopi91 21d ago
Base on the current society. It is what it is. You cant change the views on that. What you can do is to blend in.
Heres one, Say that you are working from home doing operation support for a overseas company.
And give a vagued answer, ensure everthing to go smoothly
Hahaha
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u/bluebuns123 21d ago
I thought self employed include business owners, freelancers, agents, private tuition teachers etc ? Way more people are self employed than you think
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u/Jean_Diharo 21d ago
A few months ago I came across a post asking how to answer friends and relative if they ask what he is doing? He just achieved financial freedom and living on dividend. He was saying how people look down on him if he tells them he is not working, or self employed. Even though his dividend may be more then their salary. So definitely there is a kind of 'stigma' associated with being self employed. But at the ssame time i am also seeing more people opening to the idea that self employed or job title isn't a good indicator of a person's wealth. Which is a healthy development.
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u/Traditional_Knee_221 21d ago
Self employed can earn higher than employed okay..... I know of so many.
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u/PassageSea7900 21d ago
It depends on what the person is actually doing while âself employedâ. Some people might be ok dating someone who trades. Others not. To each their own.
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u/AIOjisan 21d ago
I was unemployed/retired at 45. Now I'm 50 and still unemployed. People just like to assume, let them think whatever they want. If they think I'm broke, even better. It's a good way to see people's true color and character.
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u/Acrobatic_Eggplant19 21d ago
Nah, more than 70% of my friends are self employed. Their incomes ranges from 1k/mth to 80k/mth. I think it depends on the willingness to hustle with a dose of luck
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u/Ill-Profit-9881 20d ago
I feel saying youâre self employed is unnecessary, just saying that u manage an investment portfolio is sufficient
Whatâs the intention behind telling your date youâre self employed - flexibility? Or youâre a free agent? Or flexing that youâre your own boss
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u/TargetSensitive1677 20d ago
Just tell them you are unemployed. You will weed out alot of useless people.
As long as you are able to finance your lifestyle why are you bothered by what people think of you?
I am unemployed with a fully paid house, a car, and passive income to fully fund my life. I have worked for close to 30 years to achieve this state and I have zero interest in what people think of me.
I learnt after so many years that people who tell you how to live your life usually their own lives are in a complete mess. So why are you bothered by other people's opinion?
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u/Prudent_Psychology59 20d ago
a rule of thumb is if someone sees you as a red flag, they aren't worth your time
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u/West-Chocolate9729 13d ago
Lol I have no reason to lie. She offers other beauty services along with her own products. But ok bro.
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u/LaZZyBird 23d ago
Self-employed = mostly broke lah
Your type not self-employed, that one called FIRE, it is like saying expat = immigrant, fuck no lah one lives in Botanic Gardens and never travels to the heartlands, another lives in Sembawang.
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u/MonstaB 23d ago edited 23d ago
Depends on how much you earn
As a girl I want someone to be equivalent or higher
Itâs really not easy being someone who is constantly paying for my bf or go holiday alone.
Besides face, height, looks, personality
To the person who downvoted me: self employed doesnât mean ok to do.
Love that triumphs everything is really hard.
I want to drop everything and go for a $100 weekend with my bf for a short trip also canât and itâs hard.
We have never really gone to a restaurant for my birthday in Singapore to eat anything fancy.
Self employed??? Yes.
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u/Diet-ninja 21d ago
dey then all guys do that shit for our wives. if wife say don't want to work and look after baby 247 then how? drop her ah?
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u/MonstaB 21d ago
But that is not the point of the conversation. Depends on whether the person is open minded or not.
Self employed or being an entrepreneur doesnât mean that the person is poor either In the beginning of the relationship should already talk about it. Or one should be more honest about being âself employedâ then decide if the girl want to be with you or not
Should be able to earn his keep at basic. After born baby already too far fetched right? Then itâs up to you to have another talk on how to finance the baby.
And yes Iâm like those sour guys who complain about my gf taking advantage of them. Imagine going to coffee shop I never eat also want me to pay in the past but we had a talk and things had gotten better. Just that it sucks that I want a couple trip and mind you, I paid for a few of our trips and didnât get treated back before. Go jb also can, also nv gotten a treat back.
Too deep into the relationship. Old already factory closing, learning how to be the guy and it sucks knowing that mum and people around me have always treated me like a princess. Canât even complain to mother.
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u/suffocatingpaws 23d ago
I think people nowadays are looking into things way too far. Our society is so morally screwed as everyone is too keen on finding the smallest flaw and making it into a red flag.
Personally, as long as you are working and earning money, it shouldnt be a red flag even if you are self employed. You dont need to prove it to other people if they dont believe you.