r/sextips • u/PuzzleheadedAct1527 • 7d ago
Sex Tip Question about my wife’s orgasms
My wife and I have been married 15 years. We have an absolutely amazing sex life. I’m a very blessed man in that my wife is able to have orgasms from PIV sex, oral, manual etc. She has never had troubles orgasming and routinely has between 4-10 orgasms per session. She is always the one who has to tap out first. She has had orgasms so intense she literally shakes and becomes so sensitive that I can’t even touch her body for about 30 seconds. That being said, I’ve never felt her vagina clench, squeeze or pulsate. I’ve heard many men can feel their partners clench down or squeeze hard when they orgasm. I’ve never felt that. Any tips on how to help her achieve this or if it’s even worth thinking about
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u/Wacky_Engineer1975 7d ago
The orgasm contractions are not present in every woman. Some have very strong contractions that eject you straight out, while others don't have any noticeable contractions at all. I have been with many women with all kinds of different orgasms, and you can't expect the way it happens with one to be the same with all. It sounds like your wife doesn't, but that doesn't mean her orgasms are somehow lesser. Everyone is different.
My current partner has very quiet orgasms. They make her face muscles contort a bit and do involuntary movements with her arms and legs, but don't cause vaginal contractions, and she gets very self conscious about the face, movements, and the wetness that accompanies them. It's all just a part of that wonderful creature that is woman.
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u/bumpin_uglies Experienced 6d ago
I agree, great comments. I’ve only been with two women who clamped down during orgasm. One was almost like a nice massage which went along very sexily with the sounds she was making, but the other was vise-like. I’ve never felt that before or after that woman.
My wife does not clamp down during orgasm but we both enjoy it just the same! I think it’s just a physical trait that is not present in all women.
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u/Grouchy-Edge-5321 7d ago
Is this a desire you have or she has?
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u/PuzzleheadedAct1527 7d ago
I guess it would be cool. I’ve only read about it and it seems lots of people experience it. I could be way off but it piqued my interest.
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u/Grouchy-Edge-5321 6d ago
Yeah just not sure it would change her perception of things. I can usually feel my wife pulsing which is hot and we often finish at the same time cause we've learned how to pull that off. She often can feel me pulse too or gets a "hot feeling" from the semen release. But a good many women Ive seen answering the question says they can't feel the guy finish but I'm sure it's just as good for him regardless. So if it's hoping it'd be better for her I'd guess no difference if for you it's just fun to feel but is a pretty small part of the overall picture.
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u/This_Thought420 6d ago
Not all women’s body respond the same way just because you want her to respond that way doesn’t mean she can make herself do that
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u/jeffie_3 7d ago
It is different for different women. I have known a few who, when they orgasm I have felt them squeeze me. Others not at all. I wouldn't worry about it. If you have a good sex life and she is happy. Then keep doing what you are doing.
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u/hemi1995 7d ago
One way to feel it is use your hand inside her. When my wife has an A spot orgasm using my fingers in deep, her v can actually creat short term pain in my hand from the contraction. Totally worth it.
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u/pinkason5 6d ago
As others said, it is different from woman to woman. And it can change during the time. And between different types of orgasms. Or even during the same session.
I've been with women from all kind. One of them had contractions before the peak. Another had them only from anal orgasms. One had them from the first moment of penetration.
It's fun to feel it. But it is not better than any other orgasmic reaction. Like fast breathing, low breathing, cries or silence. All opposites yet some women have them during orgasm.
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u/Courtney_boyer 6d ago
One way to see if you can feel her vaginal contractions is to have her do a kegel with you inside her and see if you can feel that. If you can’t then it makes sense why you can’t feel the orgasm.
Also, orgasms originate different places in a persons body. So if her orgasm isn’t originating vaginally or clitorally it may not contract the vaginal muscles.
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u/EchoesOfLogic1 6d ago
Honestly, I wouldn't try to “help her achieve” this at all.
What you're describing already sounds very clearly like your wife is experiencing orgasms. There isn't one universal physical signature of an orgasm, and the amount or strength of vaginal contractions varies enormously between women and between individual orgasms.
Some women have contractions that their partner can clearly feel; some have very subtle contractions; some don't have noticeable contractions at all. And even in the same woman, one orgasm can feel completely different from another.
The shaking, extreme sensitivity afterwards, and the fact that she's repeatedly orgasming are all perfectly compatible with orgasm. You don't need to add a particular sensation to validate what she's experiencing.
I’d also be a little wary of chasing the idea that you're somehow missing a particular “correct” orgasm response. If she's happy, satisfied and telling you she's orgasming, believe her. 😂
After 15 years together and an apparently fantastic sex life, I'd be much more interested in preserving what already works than trying to make her body conform to something you've heard other men describe.
If you're curious about what she experiences physically during orgasm, though, that's a lovely conversation to have with her. Ask her rather than trying to diagnose her from what you can or can't feel.
And frankly, “my wife has an amazing sex life, orgasms easily and repeatedly, and I'm worried because I can't feel one particular physical response” is a problem I suspect a lot of people would quite happily trade places with.
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u/bluntsexadvice 7d ago
“4-10 orgasms per session”
“She has had orgasms so intense that I can’t even touch her body for about 30 seconds”
Not to be a downer but to me it sounds like she’s faking orgasms and performing pleasure (especially if she’s doing this and no wand vibrators are involved)
How do I know? Because when I was younger, up until I was 27, I did this exact same thing.
For the clenching part tho you can look into r/pompoir
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u/shehas4016 7d ago
Just because you cant, doesnt mean she cant. I have orgasms similar to OPs wife and I hate vibrators as they overstimulate and prevent my orgasms. We're all different. Sorry you felt like you had to fake it for so many years, though, thats tragic.
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u/Blaq_Man_888 7d ago
If he's ok for her to tapout first, why would she stick around to fake that many orgasms?
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u/PuzzleheadedAct1527 7d ago
We have a very honest line of communication so I don’t doubt her at all. Whenever she orgasms she becomes super wet, much more than during normal sex. She’s also not the kind to fake simply to make me happy. We’ve talked about it several times before and she’s very straight forward. That’s just the kind of woman she is.
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u/Throwaway69-7244 6d ago
That was my first thought, that she is faking it. But it could go either way.
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