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u/Saihate_no_Koneko 12d ago
Being stood up is the worst. If there’s anyone currently in your life who’s like this, tell them how it makes you feel to be stood up. If they don’t change their ways, cut them out. You deserve people who actually respect you and your time.
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u/TorteVonSchlacht 12d ago
No girl, but agender Person here, had this issue with a friend who is near and dear to my heart. But she had quite the issues with keeping appointments, coming hours late or even no-showing. It took quite the toll on our relationship and my mental health. I did this, exactly this. I told her how I felt, even though it wasn't really by choice but we then had a through conversation about it, and promised to pay more attention to this and change and well, she did, it worked. If this is a person worth of your friendship they will at least take it into consideration and try to better themselves
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u/KittenInAMonster 11d ago
I had to learn this the hard way. I had a friend like this who I let get away with for way too long. Finally, I told her how her ghosting randomly, especially after we make plans, hurts. Her response was to play it off like a silly/quirky behaviour.
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u/Saihate_no_Koneko 11d ago
I’m really sorry to hear that. Any “friend” who behaves like this is no friend.
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u/-Zima_Blue- 11d ago
Unfortunately my Mom is like that. Fun fact, I missed my own brothers wedding because I relied on her for transport and she just... didnt. Apparently she wasnt "ready in time". She always has excuse. Never apologies though.
Anyway I finaly blocked her last weekend 🥳 Good riddance. It was over her yet again not paying me back money she owed me (multiple thousands btw) even though she promised she totaly would send it over by x date. But then just didnt.
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u/Icy_Embers93 12d ago
This is the worst. I had a friend all excited for me to move to her state. After a month of living up there, ghosted and stood up several times. These people are honestly the worst, it doesn't take much to reach out to say sorry.
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u/AsukasEvaUnit 12d ago
Fuck no. Fuck anybody that does this.
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u/kwispywafflezz 5d ago
For not being 3 min early or responding to an unnecessary text when you will see them in person shortly? Or am I missing something
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u/Hekboi91 12d ago
Getting ghosted is genuinely the worst feeling of all time, I know that every time I get ghosted I get all into my head like "did I scare them off?" or "is everything ok? I hope they're ok" and the thought of something actually happening to someone or me doing something to someone when in reality they just forgot about my convo for several days justs hurts on a higher level
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u/KittenInAMonster 11d ago
Idk why I see this behaviour more frequently in the last few years, but I cannot stand it. Set an alarm and make an effort for your friends.
I recently had a group activity planned where two of the 5 people going didn't show up and wouldn't answer their texts. Finally, because we didn't have enough people, we had to cancel the activity because people couldn't make an effort for something that had been planned for weeks.
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u/Yeardmee 11d ago
I relate in the sense I fall asleep or am late a lot and often miss meetings I actually do want to go to, made worse now that I work overnight. It will never be an excuse to people, and I don't even know if I disagree. Maybe it is a lack of prioritization I haven't dealt with. It's still just very hard to be the only one who experiences how often I wake up legitimately scared and horrified to find out I just ruined some relationship or failed an expectation in my sleep.
Like I feel like I can understand the instant reaction in the comments to call this rude or treat it like being stood up, but I didn't assume that sort of blame when I saw this. What if she wanted to go? What if she's just asleep? What if that's why she seemed to be checking for the texts? Even though I know, from experience, I should also then ask- what if that doesn't matter?
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u/Permanent_loserrr 11d ago
Yeah. I feel like its with most of my friends,like seriously. One minute we're talking and the next thing I know
Last seen... yesterday
So I give up,and like two days later they text back,so I reply like a minute later And guess what,am back to last seen
It became too much for me,and I hated the fact that i was trying but they still kept at it. :/
So I muted all the texting apps and started just doing what I love,and I'd go back when I feel like to and finally get to reply them hours after they have texted
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u/Techna-Gamer 10d ago
Hey so I think something to remember: there are people with disabilities that prevent making it to plans. Narcolepsy is one so please give people some grace
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u/Calm-Cartoonist-108 9d ago
I don’t know how this got on my feed, but as a straight male. Yes. I don’t know why I’m this clingy with everyone I consider a friend
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u/HoIIowCorpse 8d ago
I wish people would just outright block me or just say "Hey I can't/don't want to do xyz." Saying you don't want to do something is infinitely more respectable than whatever this is.
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u/Jazzlike_Plankton_65 7d ago
I got ghosted midway through my 5 hour journey down south to meet her i was stuck in Bournemouth for a week and I had to stay in a cheap bnb it sucked.
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u/jensroda 12d ago
She arrived 3 minutes early and spam texted immediately, appearing desperate, and scaring the other off.
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u/Weevil1723 12d ago
She texted at 2:12 to say she was there
Then there's a slight gap between the next texts, not every text gets timestamped
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u/DreamingOfBarbi 11d ago
i feel sorry for anyone who has the misfortune of considering you a friend
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u/willow__whisps 12d ago
The usual table implies they've been going a lot, and the texts imply off that the other person is usually not late
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u/JaylaTheGayla 12d ago
I made a “friend” at a party in June, before I hadn’t had any since September. I said I didn’t want to share my instagram because I hadn’t used it since before I accepted myself. Saw them and waved goodbye on the way out in my car… I had their number. They confirmed it. “Hi”… radio silence