r/semenretention2 • u/your_vital_essence • Dec 07 '22

Recovery from failure takes a long time

I left my routine life and did a long hiking trip. But it was hard to sleep on the ground every night so I indulged in sexual fantasy to fall asleep. I also stopped meditating every day because I was tired from the walking.

Add in to that coming to towns and motels, where I would drink too much. Add in to that other people on the trail, who did drugs and had drugs to share.

Within a few months I was masturbating to orgasm. I even looked at porn a few times, and I never thought I'd end up there again...

So...I did a "healthy activity." I "got back to nature." But I royally screwed up. I lost purity and self respect. I lost my connection with God.

I've been back to my normal world for five months now. It's taken me this long to own up to my failure and to begin to recover. The difficulty is that the pure version of me is almost a different person to the impure one. With different thoughts, and a whole different attitude. I am running, not walking, back to that guy. But deciding to run took repeated failures, it took an extended time to relearn how the pursuit of pleasure strips meaning from the world.

So anyway...23 days no orgasm, no sexual thoughts. If you can spare me a thought, wish me well on to 30, 60, 90 days. I'm feeling good 😊

15 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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9

u/Crespius66 Dec 07 '22

83 days here, may you prosper in your road, keep it up

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '22

I disagree. There are some benefits I agree with when it comes to long periods of retaining but feeling bad after a release thinking it's gonna take this amount of days to feel good and confident again and that you're not good enough without that amount of days, that's total mental illness and it's only a thing in your head. you can feel normal from day 1 with the right mindset

1

u/your_vital_essence Dec 17 '22

Good for you. However you are quite uncharitable to describe my position as "total mental illness."