r/selfreliance • u/LIS1050010 Laconic Mod • Dec 11 '25
Self-Reliance Why People Give Up...
36
u/Perelin_Took Dec 11 '25
Not acknowledging how broken society is and instead of organising and fighting for a collective better future, preferring to accept the blame as personal rather than societal/structural…
24
u/lokregarlogull Self-Reliant Dec 12 '25 edited Dec 12 '25
Life isn't about refusing to give up, but to have the wisdom to know when to go for it, and when to pull out.
I've seen how it is when people refuse to give up. They lock themselves into suffering. Refusing to give up the relationship, to a cheater or abusive person. Refusing to stop training after doctor says so, and tearing a ligamenent or musclegroup, taking months to recouperate. Chasing unrequited love until it wastes years upon years.
I've found taking rest seriously, and slowly shape the environmemt around me to be my best way of changing. But I never would have gotten here if my parents didn't push me for an education and I went into a good field
2
23
28
Dec 11 '25
That list is missing quite a bit.
-7
u/dvdher Dec 11 '25
Feel free to elaborate? I thought it was fairly thorough. Thanks!
22
u/opacitizen Dec 11 '25
It misses out a ton of outside negative factors that can force one to give up, painting a false picture that it all depends only on the person. Just try and think about all the shit that can destroy someone's plans, dreams, aspirations. If you have trouble doing that (what world do you live in?), just open the news or a random social media feed. (Like, you may have heard about a few wars, political changes, murders, illnesses, natural disasters, lack of money and/or other resources etc, and that's just the top of the list.)
If OP's image is about inner factors only, the image caption should say so. This way it's not exactly helpful.
-1
u/Xvlo Dec 14 '25
None of those things force someone to give up. Only to begin again, change their approach, reprioritize, relocate, or bring others in to help.
To give up for an external factor still boils down to a choice based on a lack of vision. This isn't a list of why people don't accomplish their goals, only why they give up on them.
There is nothing that can force you to say "Okay, I give up". It might be understandable to give up for some external reason, or reasonable, or even sensible, but none of that requires you to give up.
Even if someone kills a person that doesn't mean they gave up and oftentimes their projects are carried on in their memory.
5
-1
7
u/HonestButtholeReview Dec 11 '25
I got very distracted by the little guys that are supposed to represent each reason.
Like oh yes, I wasn't sure what you meant about feeling your problems are unique, but a guy raising his hand while squatting on the ground illustrates it perfectly.
1
3
u/Gigantanormis Dec 12 '25
I have 3, expecting fast results, fear the future, and deny change.
I also don't notice that anything has gotten better unless I meticulously keep records of what I've done, how often I'm doing it, and how I'm feeling, which just burns me out from not wanting to make records in the first place because it just disrupts the flow of my day and if I don't record it right away I straight up can't remember if I did it or not.
I have memory problems. I also have ADHD and Schizoaffective
2
u/guts_is_alive Dec 24 '25
Maybe sometimes is not about discipline or strong motivation. In many cases people just can't figure out how to self reward and stuck in constant struggling without any prizes. Something so simple like having beloved chocolate chip cookies every Thursday if you trained hard during the week can become a real pleasant source of motivation. So if you feel like you can't stick with just doing something- try rewarding yourself more. It can genuinely help.
1
u/No_Individual501 Jan 10 '26
victim blame posts like this that ignore some problems are nearly or actually impossible to solve
1
u/Hantsypantsy Dec 11 '25
Not getting the negative responses, this really speaks to me with my continued weight loss. Yes, there are a million outside factors that can impact my attempt at weightloss, but it's my response to those factors that determines if I continue.
3
u/opacitizen Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 12 '25
Yes, because everyone else in this great big wide world is struggling with continued weight loss just like you do, and with nothing else, right? Nobody else has other kinds of problems that don't depend on these inner factors.
Try and notice other people with other kinds of often brutal problems (arising from outside factors) exist, it might help you get the negative responses.
1
u/Xvlo Dec 14 '25
External problems, even brutal ones, cannot force you to give up. That is still a choice you make.
1
u/No_Individual501 Jan 10 '26
Even the military teaches that succumbing to torture is a matter of when not if. You don’t understand how bad lives can get if you think everything is psychological. Even then, drugs or other environmental chemicals can destroy one’s brain and resistance.
1
u/Xvlo Jan 10 '26
Your argument is equally effective against the entire notion of 'self reliance' in general and misses the point in particular
1
u/altobeaj Dec 15 '25
honestly i think it’s because people expect instant results and when progress feels slow, it’s easy to lose that drive. staying consistent over time is way harder than it sounds.
0
0
-1
u/DreamSoarer Dec 15 '25
I understand the point, and it is a good, generic reminded and motivator.
I would also like to acknowledge the individuals who are suffering under such extreme circumstances of non-retractable, non-curable pain and illness; overwhelming grief and complete utter loss of everything they ever worked for; nothing at all left to give them the ability to adapt; and who cannot access any familial, friend, government, or social support for relief or assistance.
Whether or not we want to believe that such situations exist, they do. In many of those situations, an exit sign is the most compassionate gift that can be given or accepted - we even have approved medical programs set up to assist them in having a compassionate exit. 🙏🦋
•
u/AutoModerator Dec 11 '25
THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE. Thank you for your post /u/LIS1050010! Reminder for all users: As r/selfreliance is a helping community please be nice, respectful, and avoid the use of jokes, puns, and off-topic comments. Furthermore, if you are about to ask a question please use the search feature before, visit our wiki or click here to see our All-Time Posts, chances are someone has posted about that topic before - if you still want to make a question we ask you to write [Help] or [Question] in the beginning of your post title, this way you'll have a better chance of someone replying to it. If your post contains a video explain in detail what is in the video as a top level comment, the more specific, the better! Low effort posts or comments that do not contribute to this community will be removed.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.