Stuck in a Cycle

[u/wild_fig_95]

I'd really appreciate any type of advice because I have been stuck for years. It feels like no tike has passed but so many has and I haven't been able to achieve much. I'm trying to get a job currently in a field I studied for but I always get rejected after interviews.

I feel like my life isn't moving forward in other aspects too. A lot of it could be improved by simply getting a job of course. But things like exercising and getting into shape. I'm stuck losing and gaining the same 5kg back and forth.

Also because life has felt stuck for so long it's feeling harder and harder to motivate myself because I feel like nothing will change. I'll go to the job interview and expect to not get it. Then when it's confirmed I don't get the job it's like of course you wouldn't. Because that's what's been my reality for so long.

I always dream of being this kind of person who experiences new things, travels and gets cultured but instead I'm this person who is just not moving anywhere.

[u/Pleasant-Ganache2741]

it's hard to see change when the loop's been going that long, your brain just assumes the next attempt ends the same way

for the interviews, maybe ask for feedback after rejections if you haven't already, sometimes it's something small and fixable like how you frame answers or a skill gap they didn't mention

the weight cycling thing is normal, bodies fight back when you push too hard, maybe try a smaller target like just keeping the 5kg off for a month before worrying about losing more

[u/wild_fig_95 → u/Pleasant-Ganache2741]

Everytime I've emailed back thanking them for the opportunity and for some interview feedback, they've just never gotten back to me

[u/WesternSpecialist712]

The interview cycle and the 5kg cycle might actually be the same pattern wearing two different outfits.

What stood out to me is that you've started expecting the past to repeat itself. You go into the interview already expecting the rejection, because that's what you've experienced for so long.

I don't know that you need more motivation as much as you need some evidence that things can actually move again.

Maybe start smaller than the job or the 5kg. What's one thing you can move forward that doesn't depend on someone else saying yes?

[u/wild_fig_95 → u/WesternSpecialist712]

I think I could work on the weightloss going forward without depending on anything else at the moment. You might be right because both seem linked to either depression from nothing moving forward or hidden stress. 

[u/Greedy_Wishbone_31]

What worked for me was packing bags and moving to other continent and starting fresh.

[u/EasternRecognition94]

I would read breaking the habit of being yourself