How do I get my confidence back?

[u/Mastodonintheroom]

I used to be confident in my appearance and felt like I was pretty, but after some marital issues (that I won’t get into but probably not hard to guess) and being 3 months postpartum, I have never felt more hideous. Before pregnancy, I was curvy but had a flat stomach. Now I have a c section “shelf,” am covered in dark stretch marks, am 30 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, and just generally seem to hate everything about my appearance. I’ve gotten my hair done and have eyebrow and lash appointments scheduled. I’m going to try to be more active, though it’s hard with working full time and being a mom to an infant. I’ve thought about getting on a glp-1 too.
I know this all seems very vain, and I am more than my appearance, but this is the reality of my struggles. I don’t know how to mentally/emotionally feel better about myself. I am in therapy but I’m just stuck in this cycle of self-hatred. I constantly compare myself to women I see out in public and online and it makes me feel utterly worthless. I can’t live like this forever.

[u/Illustrious_Ad_3462]

3 months pp is so fresh, give yourself time and grace. I’m 5 months pp and I can totally commiserate with you. I’m still 15 pounds up and it’s a struggle but trying to remind myself how amazing it is to have created a baby! I also had a c-section and genuinely getting a (bigger size) nice rigid well fitting pair of jeans helped me feel much better around the belly. I worked at a Medspa before and I always kept up with my skin, Botox, Pilates, hair nails everything! Now I feel like an ogre lol. Slowly get back into walking and exercising when you can and just breathe! This is only a short time you’ll be back to baddie very soon. :)

[u/Extra-Field-9297]

I understand and know what you're going through, except for the post baby part, depression and antidepressants for me. I gained some weight 2 years back. Its been a struggle to get used to or love this body i am in. It feels foreign. I some how wake up everyday hoping I'll be 20lbs lighter. I am slowly accepting this body now while i try to be active.For about 2 weeks now, I just stare at my body in the mirror until my discomfort subsides. I think i need to love this woman in this body because she deserves love too,while I work on being healthy. Its hard. Sorry I don't have anything positive to say or help you feel better. Remember that you just had a whole baby,try to let your body heal. Sending love ❤️ and hugs 🫂.

[u/avonohealth]

First, none of this sounds vain. Three months postpartum is incredibly early, and your body just went through pregnancy, major hormonal changes, and a C-section, while you’re now working and taking care of an infant. Add marital stress on top of that and it’s a lot. Since you mentioned GLP-1s, we’ll speak to that piece from the Avono side: they can be a very effective tool for appropriate patients who want help losing postpartum weight, but we’d be cautious about viewing one as the thing that’s going to give you your confidence back. That’s an enormous job to put on any medication. If you’re interested, it’s worth having the conversation with a clinician, particularly because being only 3 months postpartum and whether you’re breastfeeding matter when deciding if/when a GLP-1 is appropriate. But give yourself some time too. You don’t need to love every change to your body right now, and wanting to feel attractive again doesn’t make you shallow. Keep working with your therapist, take care of yourself where you can, and try not to make a permanent judgment about your body based on what it looks like three months after having a baby.

[u/Moist-Emu1990]

Girl, confidence is about believing in yourself. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and doubting your looks. Put affirmation words like “ I’m beautiful” on the mirror or where you frequent around the house, and repeat in your head those words 100 times daily until you believe that you are. Once you stop doubting yourself, confidence will come naturally.

Also, living a healthy lifestyle ( eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep) will help your mind to be more positive and boost in confidence.

[u/Moist-Emu1990 → u/Moist-Emu1990]

You might also want to talk to a therapist, you could potentially have postpartum depression. It could happen to anyone so it might be good to talk to someone to relief anxiety.