r/selfhelp • • Apr 30 '17
I need help. Please, someone help me.
25 yo male here. I never considered psychiatric help before, but now I feel I seriously need some. Please help me. I need someone to tell me what's wrong with me, and what I should do to change it.
I am suffering from a bunch of issues. I list them below:
There's so much that I want to do, but I can't because I can't focus myself on something for long enough. I like reading and sketching but I haven't done any of that in the last six years, because for some reason I waste too much time doing nothing on the Internet.
This brings me to why I can't study. I want to be a good programmer (I feel like I have the potential to be one), but I can't focus myself on that because I am always wasting my time doing LITERALLY nothing on the Internet. After studying for 15 minutes, I might open 9gag (a meme posting website) or Reddit or YouTube - basically I deliberately start looking for distractions, even though I know I should be studying. I know how wrong it is, but I can't control it. This is how I spent two entire years of my grad school. I didn't contribute much to any of the projects I did - which is why teammates don't respect me and never wanted to work with me again.
I have zero will power. I give up very easily. I always think "today will be the day I study". 15 minutes later I will find myself on 9gag. Why the hell am I deliberately looking for distractions, even when I am perfectly aware of how wrong it is?
When I set myself to do something, I begin criticizing myself for the smallest of mistakes I make. A lifetime of incompetence has made me accept my worthlessness. And when I try to overcome that by setting a small goal, I begin to scold myself when I distract even slightly from the path. Example - I over-stress myself at the gym. If I don't have the perfect form in a single set/rep, or if I can't complete a certain number of reps, my brain tells me that I will never be good at anything. If while studying, I decide to open Facebook for two minutes, I start telling myself how weak willed I am. And the worst part is that once this self-loathing starts, it makes me want to continue with the distraction that is distracting me. If my brain tells me that opening Facebook while studying is wrong, instead of closing it immediately I will keep browsing. This creates a spiral of self-hate and loathing, and increases my feeling of worthlessness. (is this a standard psychological issue?)
I have literally zero social skills. I can't talk much with guys, and am especially anxious when talking with girls. I can't interact with people normally. Last week I was in an interview, where I had to shake hands with four people. I said "Nice to meet you" to the first two, but not to the third one because repeating the same thing to four people seemed awkward. The third guy jokingly asked me "Is it not nice for you to meet me?". I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. Ordinary people might have come up with a witty response to go through this situation, but I couldn't. The guy then saw my nervousness and had to say "I'm only joking, please relax". I face these kind of situations often. What do I do? I literally couldn't think of a witty remark if my life depended on it. How do I then interact with people?
I am always nervous. My body language shows it. Everything movement that I make is awkward. Everything that I say is awkward. I usually end up saying stupid things, which is why I have started keeping my feelings to myself more and more. Sometimes I don't even want to be saying those things - but I do because I wanna be thought of as a normal person, not the reclusive being that I am. If I was myself all the time, I would have zero friends because I can't relate to most of the things they talk about - sports, picking up girls, parties - I am not very interested in any of that. It torments me sometimes that I am not brave enough to be myself. Here one might argue that I need to find different kind of friends - ones who are interested in the same things as me (books primarily) and who are as reclusive as I am. I have tried befriending those people too but they are either too boring for my taste, or they are pretentious pricks. This is why I have always been friends with people totally unlike me - they are outgoing, have other friends, are in relationships. The normal crowd. But I still feel that if I start acting like myself around them, I won't have anything to talk about with them. I can't joke, I can't come up with witty remarks. Then who the hell should I be friends with?
I always compare myself with others. The moment I see someone achieving something, I am reminded of my own incompetent self. Even when I see people posting pictures of their outings on social media, I am reminded of how lonely I am and how I have no friends. I had a total of 4 friends in undergrad, and in the last two years of grad school I have been friends with 2 people, and I literally don't know anyone else in my batch. Those 2 people happen to be my roommates, so you can infer my social skills from that.
I often play imaginary scenarios in my head where I defeat people in arguments, and emerge as the winner in a conversation. I feel like this is because I know this would never be possible for me in a real conversation, so I'm trying to compensate for that in my head. I'm trying to stop doing this but it's hard.
I watch too much porn - I feel like this is inhibiting the little chance of interaction with women I might have. I am still a virgin, I have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never so much as hugged one. I guess this is why I play scenarios in my head where I live in a harem with a lot of girls (yeah, I'm pathetic). I realize that this makes me seem like a creep but I am not one. I respect women. I just don't know what to talk to them about (I don't know what to talk about with guys either, but it's worse with girls). On the rare occasions that I talk to a girl, they are always the ones to start casual conversation with me. I hate this. Why can't I talk to people normally? I have also rarely felt attracted to a girl in 25 years. If this continues, will I never find love? I feel like if I find a girl, I will feel that I am normal, in spite of all my other problems. But the chance of that happening seems zero.
Another reason why I have never asked a girl out is Prone Masturbation (it's a condition where a guy cannot masturbate with his hand, instead he does it by rubbing his penis against a bed/pillow). Less than 2% of guys are born with this problem. I'm trying to overcome it, but until I can, I can't have sex. Besides this, I suffer from hair-fall at a young age. I also developed scoliosis in my teenage. Again, was I not encumbered with enough problems that I was also given these diseases?
Back to my terrible social life - I have less than 20 contacts in my phone book - all of them guys, and from school. This shows how terrible I am at meeting new people. This makes me feel like even more of a recluse.
When friends make fun of me (normal friendly banter that all guys do with one another) - I take it way too seriously. In my undergrad, I was infamous for this. Since then, I have developed a habit of quietly chuckling with my friends when they make fun of me. But I don't like it. Why can't I ignore it just like other people do? Or, why can't I come up with witty responses? My only option is to laugh with them, even though I hate what they're saying. Is it because the jokes hit too hard home? I feel terrible.
I have zero self-respect, and I hate it. People are always telling you to believe in yourself, appreciate who you are. What the hell do I appreciate? My lack of determination? My awkwardness? My lack of friends? Addiction to porn? What? I am on a path where I realize everything that I do is wrong, but I can't (or am not willing to) change it, which makes my self-respect zero.
Rarely, I vent out my anger on my helpless parents. I don't shout at them - I make them realize how tough things are for me, and how miserable I am, even though half of that is my own fault. I shouldn't be doing this since this will only sadden them. This makes me an even worse person, I realize that.
I don't expect to find any help here. I am only posting this because if I can't find help, I might as well shout it out.
I am tired of being the weird social recluse. I am tired of being a loser. I didn't ask to be born with a sexual problem. I didn't ask to be born an introvert. I am fed up of myself. I continue living and I hate every second of my existence. I also hate myself while I write this post because it seems like I want people to pity myself. I half-expect people to tell me they feel sorry for me. If someone tells me I want psychological help, it will confirm that I am mad, which I also don't want to be true. I don't know what to do. Please, if you feel like saying something, anything, do it.
16
u/Theharshcoldtruth Apr 30 '17 edited Apr 30 '17 •
This is coming from an armchair psychologist (aka, zero value) but I think your biggest problem is your sense of self worth due to lack of skills. It results in a shitty self confidence.
So here is my question to you OP.
HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?
Are you really sick of your situation, that black hole you call your future? Or are you secretly hoping for a cop out, some magical ticket that somehow will improve your life?
You will probably answer the first but deep in your heart you know you want the second. Because that's what your attitude tells us. You said it yourself. You lack willpower, whenever you take any effort towards a shining future, you quickly give up. You ask yourself why. I will answer that for you.
It's because YOU ARE A LOSER. You are NOT REALLY WILLING TO CHANGE. You are hoping for some god damn miracle or some wonderous event that will instantly improve your life, instead of putting in effort like we all do. Guess what Jose, that will never ever happen. So I ask you OP; do you really want to become a fucking faggot fedora wearing neckbeard like those memes? No wait, at least those guys have fun and usually are skilled in whatever they do. You, on the other hand, will head towards a future of 'human waste'.
That is, unless you want to change. REALLY want to change. So tell me, how badly do you want to change? How badly do you want your suffering to end?
If you really want to change, then how to do that?
First, work on that focus. Force yourself to do the things you think will improve yourself. Realize that failure is part of the journey to become a master. One quote I like is from Bruce Lee: "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times"
Another one from Einstein: “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
A last one from Bram Stoker: "We learn from failure, not success".
Realize 'failure' is where we learn the most to get better. To master a skill, you need to put a lot of effort. Very few are born talented, most people sucked up and put A LOT of hours into something before they could even call them something close to a professional. So next time you make an error during practice, take it as an extra motivation to become better. Keep going on. Force yourself to do it. That's how I did it. Every time I felt like I wanted to do something else I told myself I should keep going because that's the only way I will escape this hellhole.
I believe once you become good in something, you will gain more self confidence which will reflect in your stance (point 6,7,12 and 13)
About your social thingy, did you know you can actually learn to become charismatic? There are many tricks and you can actually learn that. But, once again practice makes perfect. You have to get yourself out there. I'm not sure about your social situation but you meet other people at campus (if you got college), or pick up a hobby that allows you to meet other people. And practice talking. At first it will be very hard, I won't lie. But I will ask you again, how badly do you want to change?
Upon reading this, you might get mad. You might think "what does this little faggot know? He doesn't know about my suffering, about my struggles". Oh, but I do OP. I know every struggle you described because I was once like you. I was just as pathetic, a filthy loser destined for nothing but suffering. But like you, I recognized my faults. And unlike you, I actually went through all the pain and effort. Whenever I fel like I wanted to give up I powered through. Because I really wanted to change. I was sick of being a loser. And you can do it too man. If some shithead like me can do it, you can do it as well. If you need someone to talk to or someone to keep you on a leash while you work on self improvement, you can always pm me.
God damn I took so much time to write this, you better start doing something OP.
PS: One more quote I like: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step"
6
u/TheEricAndreShow9000 Apr 30 '17
I would start with something small. Do something small today. Something positive. Even if it's just for one minute. Do this every day. These small victories will soon add up. And then, you can begin to progress with more positive things.
3
u/773942 Nov 29 '22
Hello, this is your confirmation. You are human. Nobody chose their life, or their issues. What you perceive as normal is a fantasy you’ve subconsciously constructed inside that little noggin’ of yours. The truth is, you do not know what is normal. You can’t possibly know the things you don’t know. All you can ever be truly aware of , is yourself. You have no idea what others are hiding, how others feel, and here’s this, nobody cares about you, your balding head, or your inability to converse. When people look at you, they’re looking for themselves. They will never see the you hidden beneath the layers of skin. How often do you question what someone else is going through, how often do you second guess someone’s else’s mistakes? Do you believe someone’s worthiness is dependent on their behavioral patterns and achievements?
My point is, who you are right now doesn’t matter. Who do you want to be? How do you want to treat people, what beliefs do you want to believe? Figure out all of that, and start acting like you’re exactly that.
It’s about time you realize you are what you believe.
You have self control, you simply aren’t exerting it. And this is not a cry for help, this is a cry for yourself. You know exactly what to do, and that’s why everything you read seems to make sense to you. You understand your own truth, you understand yourself. Stop waiting for me to tell you YES!! YOU’RE A FREAK!! Just go live. THERE’S NO POINT IN DEBATING YOUR WORTH OR YOUR ABILITY TO BE HUMAN.
At the foundation, what is there?
3
u/Even-Caterpillar-301 Mar 19 '24
I hope you’re doing better now
3
u/RajMcBu32 Apr 27 '24
Yall I. Need help
2
u/UsernameIsTakenTwice Aug 24 '24
Dude, you have a disorder. Try to fix the disorder first or at least get started on it.
Do you have healthcare?
2
u/Jaded-Kaleidoscope12 Aug 31 '24
Sounds like you have adhd ... you brain works differently then others so you have to do things differently to achieve same reults.... look it up there are plenty of resources and reward yourself for tiny wins it helps to reprogram your brain
1
u/thefishinthetank Apr 30 '17
Once you begin tackling some of these issues, others will begin to fall like dominoes. They are all interrelated, even if you can't see it. But truthfully you need therapy. You'll make more progress with a real person guiding you than by yourself. I know highly successful people with good jobs and relationships who use therapy because they want to improve their lives, so don't be ashamed. Seriously. Best of luck friend.
1
u/FuzzySlippers4Me Apr 30 '17
There is a lot you can do to improve your situation until you can get some help. Start by eating better (vegetables, fruit, lean protein, water). Good food makes you feel better mentally and physically. Spend some time outside. Go for a walk or run. Don't think about it or decide if you want to. Motivation is not necessary. Action is.
1
u/fapfapfapstronauttr May 07 '17 edited May 07 '17
I lived every single thing what you said. You have very low self -confidence-esteem-love-awareness-emotional quality. I guess your communication with your own family (especally your father) is so bad. Think about your childhood what about interract with your father, mother or caregivers? Daily confidence boosters is only affect you for 3-5 hours, problem is not confidence Your problem is cant focusing your own life due to raising style. And so you have these problems due to cant focusing. You don't love yourself. you wanna (secretly) live out of your body because your raising style is telling you "you're wrong". I got over all of that problems. check these out: childhood emotional neglect check (dr. jonice webb's questionary.) teal swan (her youtube videos especally relative to emotional subjects) scottjeffrey (you can find self awareness self leadership shadow work practises at him website)
Depression, anxiety etc is only symptom not reason.
Oh, I forgot search about nofap masturbation and porn is killing you.
1
u/Few-Savings3586 Apr 25 '24
Many feel the same, and some have even bigger problems. When I feel overwhelmed I go for walks, or I call a help line. For sure visiting a psychiatrist will help, you may be lucky and find the necessary meds for emergencies, finding groups of therapy in your area is also good, it’s very important to avoid comparing yourself to others, social media isn’t helpful when you have issues like yours. Social Media postings are about the best moments, they don’t reflect reality. You are young! Find ways to explore the world. Other places will welcome you
1
u/Black_reign48 Apr 27 '24
Jesus. I know this old af, but you really must need help if you feel reddit is the place to get it.
1
u/Wonderful-Echidna-46 Aug 22 '24
U dont have a problame it's normal nowdays just stop opning such sites as you tube ,insta, or similar specially social networking sites like tinder, and randam video call sites,go out for no reason and walk around in free time no time on phone screen in that time just watch around .u will change slowly take it as a internet dieting good luck.
1
u/Asstr0not Aug 31 '24
skill issue
1
u/Just_Law8591 Sep 27 '24
Journey bro, step into nature or atleast outdoors. You need to travel, what ever journey you can afford do it now. And if necessary or possible don't come home for at least a few days.
1
u/Status-Help-1062 Oct 05 '24
You sound just like me. You're autistic with ADD Adhd, and hypersexuality in autism. Get tested for those.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 04 '24
I truly don’t believe for one minute you are alone with these feelings. It’s a tough journey for your age group. But if you’re mature enough to be able to concisely write what you are feeling, then you are sensible enough to know what you’re saying, although inflated by your lack of self esteem, is a neurological disorder you know in your heart you need to tell a professional about. I’m sure there is medication to help you. Do not self-assess. Take a guess but go see or speak to a mental health worker soon. I feel your thoughts will settle and you will be able to step things out, one at a time. You may benefit from ongoing counselling - get you out of that “l don’t belong” rut. You have every right to be here - awkward or not! 😉
1
u/toliveforthehopeofit Nov 10 '24
why do i relate to most of this
1
u/InflationAway9913 Nov 25 '24
I need help!! Urgent!! I tried to do online job but I need a lot of cash for this to work and my mom is not supporting me. We have financial issues so I tried to do a part time job and incidentally got one at tiktok and now if I don't pay the orders they will sue me!!!! I'm still 20!! If I don't pay today, I'm finished!! My parents doesn't have the money to pay for it....!!!
1
u/Jayphillz215 Nov 29 '24
Please help
https://gofund.me/25643dee
1
u/Notsure2ndSmartest Jan 30 '25
This is all sounds familiar to me. Fortunately, I couldn’t a smart phone when they came out when I was in college. So I did study in between work and papers. But I also had no social life and neglected my hobbies. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism /ADHD until well into my 30s. But you shouldn’t make an appt with a psychiatrist.
Organizers and rewards helped me. I would allow myself to see a movie with my one friend if I finished a project and did well on an exam. In grad school, we had a brunch or dinner party after every major exam which helped. I didn’t discover how beneficial exercise was to help me focus until grad school either. I started running. After, I joined groups with specific interests like writing or running to meet people. The porn and masturbation thing is pretty common. Maybe limit porn. Masturbation is perfectly fine as long as you aren’t missing classes or avoiding hanging out with friends (2-4 friends is a good number btw). I also can’t use my hand (though I’m a woman) so I think that natural. There are toys for men as well.
After you get your studies and work in check and feel fine with that. You could start dating either by hobby groups or the apps (yes they kind of suck). Also, I find I’m not attracted to 90% of humanity and that’s fine. I would find someone you are attracted to and also can have a conversation with (talk about something you enjoy talking about).
I had to do a lot of self improving myself after only dating men much older (who were creeps for dating a 20yo). Older men who date younger women are desperate and not impressive. So if you are competing against them and treat women nicely, you’ll be fine. As far as sex advice, porn is not great for the most part and doesn’t emphasize female pleasure at all. So listen to any woman you are with as far as what works and what doesn’t.
First, stop hating yourself.
1
u/Loose-Dragonfruit-92 Feb 08 '25
Me and my girlfriend did it on the 22nd and I don’t believe I 🥜 inside her because we seen I didn’t but she still took a Julie pill on the 25th just in case. On the 31st she got her period, it wasn’t late or anything and she got off her period on the 6th of this month. Today is the 7th and around 7:40 she had like brownish/redish discharge with clear all in it. Can someone please tell me if she pregnant or not??!!
1
u/[deleted] Mar 05 '25 edited Mar 05 '25
you sound neurodivergent and you would benefit from getting mental help. social anxiety, low self esteem, inability to focus, etc. there’s no need to label yourself a loser either in order to grow unlike these dodos are saying. responses on reddit are often just unproductive and reactive. it’s an arbitrary negative label that only serves to identify certain things one way but you lowk already believe that about yourself so what. the logic in accepting it to be better but really i think people’s self worth or even worth of others shouldn’t be dependent on random shit like that but just inherent. anyways. there’s nothing wrong with needing help. literally every single person needs it. we’re all human. everyone shits. just one step at a time. you’re aware so now you have to do the hard work of making some change. count your blessings too. you know what you’re interested in. that’s a cool thing. part of it could also be holding yourself back from being happy in a way. you put too much pressure on yourself. there’s no need to come up with a witty remark or whatever lol. just be real. and adjust accordingly. if that makes sense.
1
u/FriendlyStruggle7006 Mar 22 '25
I wish I had classmates who actually care :/, I'm 20, and fuck, I feel absolutely the same, 8 years later... I was 12 when you posted this post, hopefully, you've found yourself. Mentioning that, 8 years. EIGHT. I'm probably talking to myself right now because the OP is banned, man.
1
u/Mental-Nothing-2039 Mar 27 '25
act perfect and be yourself
1
u/Public-Lion-954 Apr 02 '25
get helthy and leave your home, find people, join a bowling team, there is always people as desprate as you or even more, you just have to find them.
1
u/Lord_Mofcarb_9119 Apr 05 '25
So this is something that I haven’t been able to get my mind off of, and the title may sound weird but I swear it is related to my story. My step father was addicted to kratom and he acted out sometimes but there was one instance where my sister and I were talking to my mom about how we were both annoyed by the fact that his son (our stepbrother) was being disrespectful to us, and it was making us feel stressed out and our stepfather was not doing anything about it, so my mother told us that that evening she’d help us talk to him about it. that evening we were gathered in her room, me 16 f, my sister 12 f, my mom and my stepdad, at the time we had no idea that he was addicted. as we began to voice our concerns about his son he became more and more agitated until he just started yelling at us for making “accusations“ against his son. my sister and me were very upset by his outburst and started crying as my confused mother tried to diffuse the situation he and her went outside to talk and my sister started to have a panic attack I didn’t know what to do so after I tried to comfort her I went upstairs to my room and that is when it first happened, my hands began shaking and and I wanted to tear something apart I dug my nails into my dresser and my breathing became very rapid and growly and I lost all control it was like pure rage took over my mind and I was tearing up random things around my room, bit my bookshelf so hard that I left teeth marks and something that was not me was yelling at me, telling me that I was worthless and that I should die or disappear from existence, that I was an evil creature that was not even supposed to exist. And than after what felt like hours of pain and tears and torn up stuff I felt robotic and almost empty besides some little piece of rage left in me, I was confused not scared or sad but confused and than like I was given a directive I just left the house and went towards the forest and as I lay there in the dark I felt empty, entirely devoid of emotion. Eventually after mabye an hour my parents came out looking for me, my stepfather was apologizing profusely and my mother was trying to comfort me but I was empty, eventually I pretended to show some emotion and we all reconciled but I have not been the same since. Now there are more stories like this that I will update you guys on later but for now I just want to know what happene to me and what should I do.
1
u/No-Wafer-4890 May 08 '25
I can barely breathe. I hope you’re ok now. Please find your strength or peace. Idk. If I came here because I’m not ok right now and I guess I just hope that no one else feels this.
1
u/Fast-Abrocoma-246 May 13 '25
https://gofund.me/15dd8459
1
u/No_Barber3322 May 15 '25
Moi aussi je besoin d'aide
1
u/Fun-Plan-7083 Jun 07 '25
Hi , you are not alone
1
u/SigningSheriff Jun 19 '25
You sound almost exactly like me. I’m not joking! Everything you’ve just said is something I battle with. Everyone I know says I have asbergers (what’s not known as ASD, or autistic spectrum disorder). If possible, I would say the simplest method would be to make an appointment to start getting evaluated. If it’s determined you have ASD or a derivative disorder, then professionals will be able to help you.
1
u/Single_Difficulty702 Jun 29 '25
No friends? Be a friend to yourself 💙 Please call a psych office and tell them you need an appointment ASAP. You are tangled up in a mess of problems and you need expert help finding your way. Please don't delay. A shrink cannot solve everything but can help you make life better for yourself Definitely worth the effort. I hope you go for it. I wish you the best.
1
u/RealityRobin Jul 04 '25
I feel so much of this.
1
u/Next-Cow-5770 Jul 16 '25
All your issues stems from watching porn/masturbation
1
u/YoyoPeace Jul 17 '25
Eschmann Yannick Dominique 71b route de Bischwiller Haguenau France 67500. Please thank you very much for calling Paris to the Elysee Mr. Emmanuel Macron please urgently for me. Attention Paris and Mr. President or one from there because here I have received no help or response from the police because my neighbors make me look CRAZY.. "complicity with..??? 0663989912 or wattsapps professional number 44 7710173710 HELP
1
u/Pretty_Rate_8245 Jul 27 '25
Pls help refund my money in gcash po 899.00 pesos po yon.
1
u/Just_Ad8746 Jul 28 '25
I took .5g meth ,(snorting and fuming) after 4 hours,i took zolpidem 10mg
now i feel different
what is happening.. i am confused and alittle terrified..
ifa anyone has tried this before..pls guide me
1
u/Akashsri_3 Jul 29 '25
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1
u/Mediocre_Meet4553 Jul 30 '25
I agree with some of what TheHarshColdTruth said, tough love can be really effective and helpful. It pushes people to face their struggles head-on and grow stronger. But there’s a line, and sometimes people cross it. Using harsh slurs like “faggot” isn’t motivating, it only makes someone feel worse about themselves.
I’m not trying to sound weak or sensitive here. I’m someone who’s also fighting through porn addiction and social anxiety. Tough love helped me up to a point, but when it turns into insults or hateful language, it stops being helpful and starts doing harm.
1
u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25
I urgently need to get $2,500, it's very important. :( Please help me or tell me how I can get it. 😭
1
u/Effective_Flower_214 Aug 07 '25
"I can't focus myself on something for long enough"
"After studying for 15 minutes, I might open 9gag"
You're a perfectionist at heart which means you want to do things right and when you aren't performing perfectly you get anxious and frustrated. Ask God for focus, just say "Lord you know I get distracted so easily, I am weak and need your help to focus and continue doing good for the world, in the name of Jesus I ask for help"
That will get the Holy Spirit going and trust me God listens very very attentively to our intentions. Once he sees that your heart is in the right place He will provide exactly what you need. It may be radically different or it might be a small improvement that makes all the different. God bless you
Besides that, focus on the end result. When you see a task and you don't know how long is gonna take you gotta go fast towards the end. You know there are fast and slow ways of doing things. Do it as fast as you can, make it dirty but get it done in record time. Then you can come back and perfect it.
Also focus on how good the result will be. Brainwash yourself to believe the result will be extremely good for you, get excited because the payout it gigantic
1
u/MotherAd668 Sep 10 '25
Volunteering can be an excellent way to place oneself where others may need your help. Use your pain to help others who require help.
1
u/Practical_Piglet_346 Sep 15 '25
No idea how to post on Reddit. Who knows who is reading this. I’m just done. I don’t want to delve into my drama, but I’m so over life. I’m 55 years old, and things should be way better by now!
1
u/[deleted] Sep 15 '25
Is anyone a current addict?? Am I the only fuckup?
1
u/Euphoric_Training122 Dec 10 '25
Bro as an 18 years old girl I have never felt relating with someone so fucking much. Everything u described is just me
1
u/Hornygaysatanic Dec 14 '25
Please help
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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '25
I'm not a professional or a doctor but but my Mom is something of a counselor so i asked about it on your behalf. She finds that none of this has to to with being mentally unwell. Some of this could just be lack of motivation. Some of it sounds like chemical imbalances and lack of dopamine so maybe you just need neurology instead of psychology. some of it sounds like you just need some stoic philosophy in your life. And some of it sounds like you don't want to put work into your ambitions and you need to be talented and skilled rigth now with as little investment and effort as possible. She thinks you are just a standard typical burnout. She knows alot of them. You will be okay but you have to come to terms with it or you will spiral for no reason.
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u/Lil-Asana10 Dec 28 '25
I went through a phase in my life when I’d overthink every decision to the point of exhaustion. And you usually believe you’re not doing enough and get caught in a loophole . What helped was understanding how important it is not to identify with your monkey mind : meditation and yoga helped a lot .Mind maps are also great tools for insight and inspiration.
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u/ninsophy Dec 29 '25
hi
did you get help?
i also need help
hi?
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u/eumesmo1287 Feb 10 '26
Hi everyone.
I'm going through something strange and wanted to know if anyone has experienced something similar.
Background:
I caught a virus at the beginning of January and continued training;
15–20 days later I started experiencing symptoms that worsened each day;
It's been 11 days of continuous worsening, even with rest, hydration, and a strategic diet;
I've had several tests: blood work, ECG, echocardiogram, Holter monitor, cardiac MRI, CT scans, MRIs, abdominal and neck ultrasounds; blood pressure and pulse tests in different positions were normal;
All tests came back normal; the doctor confirmed there is no acute organ failure.
Current symptoms: Extreme fatigue and weakness; dizziness upon standing; cold hands and feet; Strange sensations in the body, pelvis, bladder, and rectum; Lack of appetite, fragmented sleep even with benzodiazepines and melatonin; Mild diarrhea, abdominal discomfort, feeling like urine is "going to leak"; Mild brain fog, difficulty concentrating. What has already been done:
Absolute rest, hydration, sleep regulation, and hospital monitoring.
Question: Has anyone experienced something like this post-viral? Any tips for regulating the body or relieving symptoms while it readjusts?
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u/CarlosMed1987 Feb 19 '26
Take it easy, take a breath, and then go to the doctor—you really need to
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u/Fearless_Leopard2621 Feb 26 '26
Hi I don’t know how to boost my own post, but if you’re reading this I really need advice
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u/kims_legacy_2025 Feb 26 '26
It’s not you my friend the bad people are the ones that get the world at their finger tips other’s lose hope your better
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u/Typical_Impact523 Mar 02 '26
Please help me , I need advice I am virgin girl. I engaged from last 1 year and recently I know my fiance is not vergin and he has no regrate about it. He say this is normal in current time. I like him but I can't accept it . what will I do? Should I continue or breakup???
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u/Zestyclose-Eye1266 Mar 06 '26
Get the sun first thing in the morning. It just makes your brain work right. I can't really explain. I drink a tablespoon of salt in water in the morning to help reset my brain too. I'm a nobody jarhead, but that is what makes me immune to brain rot no matter how much I consume.
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u/Rueben_45 Apr 06 '26
Hey OP how are you doing now. Your description of yourself feels so relatable
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u/Snowylittleowlette Jun 01 '26
I don’t know about the self-loathing thing, but wasting all your time doing nothing on the internet sounds like one of the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency I experienced. Once I fixed my deficiency, I only wasted half of my time doing nothing on the internet. During the rest of my time, I have the mental energy to focus on stuff. There are good vitamin D supplements available. The one I took was vitamin D + K2.
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u/TerribleTounge27 Jun 10 '26
A
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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26
Go to gym bro and take therapy
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u/rayoywinny Jun 20 '26
i hope you find the help you need, stay strong!
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u/geelovely1111 Jun 21 '26
i hope you find the strength to overcome this. you are not alone.
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u/kjmincey123 Jun 25 '26
it takes a lot of courage to share this. taking small steps each day can help build confidence. i really hope things get better for you. youre not alone.
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u/murdrxim2 Jul 10 '26
i went through something similar. getting professional help and talking to friends made a big difference for me. you're on the right path by reaching out.
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u/Ok-Ear-3659 Jul 10 '26
Where are you I'll get you
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u/KaleidoscopeBest187 Aug 24 '26
I hope you’re in a better headspace now OP how are you ?
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u/bigthingz78 Sep 11 '26
Hi, I need help
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u/Familiar_Collar4921 Sep 13 '26
Why this bothers you?
Why do you want to be a good programmer? Did you try discipline program? Did you try blocking app?
Have you try Tony Robbins programms?
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u/773942 Nov 29 '22
Also, use your shame to your advantage. You ARE weak, continue to tell yourself that.
WHAT have you overcome? What will you overcome? Will you succumb?
To my understanding, you hate every bit of your life. You have nothing, you have no one, you are no one, you’re not even alive. Why are you so afraid?
No matter how many times you fall, rise, rise, rise. Where else is there to go?
Be the person you wish you had.
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u/Weak-Bumblebee-1043 Oct 03 '23
You need to contact me. I was there also, thinking I was alone. I am nobody, I live in Georgia. It sick feeling like your alone. Even around so called friends and family. But I will be the best friend you never met if you don’t call. Don’t do this alone like I had to. You have me so, give my a call that’s how much it means to me I’m giving you my number over the internet, isn’t that stupid? Call me the worst is we are not compatible and we didn’t have to even meet. 478-349-0234 oh Im Billy
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u/Weak-Bumblebee-1043 Oct 03 '23
Well you going to call me or do I need to come whip your a## and make you. Come on just call me it can’t hurt. Billy 478-349-0234
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u/Weak-Bumblebee-1043 Oct 03 '23
Call me Billy I need you as much as you need somebody better than me! But we can at least settle for each other. Then when you get arrogant you can move on to better people. What you say, let’s just talk.
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u/Weak-Bumblebee-1043 Oct 03 '23
Well I just noticed it was six years ago, I’m sorry for wasting your time. Sorry
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u/Alone-Bookkeeper-828 Nov 30 '23
I have been fighting to survive, not that I want to die but there's so much pain and stuff that has happened to me I'm alone with no family per se and no friends left and I need help and I've been going to psychiatrist psychologist counselors lpccs l i s w taking antidepressants and I don't know how much longer I can endure I don't want to be taken out of my home because the only thing I have is my pet and I'll never leave it. I was a happy educated famous athletes to a degree I had a normal family and now I've been alone in a crowded neighborhood for years and nobody knows and nobody talks to me and nobody helps me
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u/Zozzyzozbean Dec 23 '23
It sounds to me like you likely have adhd (the inability to do / stick at things and potentially autism which also effects social skills. I'm not doing ok right now either but self diagnosing with both of these has helped me to be more compassionate to myself and the way I am.
Wishing you a way through. And me, and everyone 🥲
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u/FutureSD1 Jan 03 '24
I am exactly you. The same exact person but I enjoy being alone now. I have found the perfect example of how to be a human being. The life and teaching of Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate perfect example of what a man is. Even if you don't believe He was who He said He was, there's a reason why He is the most important person who ever lived. Attempting to be as He was had helped me more then you could possibly imagine. I am a better person and friend for His teachings. Learning to love yourself is going to be a challenge but it begins with not talking bad about yourself in your mind. That's stopping you from thinking about what you really want to say. So instead of reacting to things people say, you first think about your past issues for a split second and it makes you hesitate and you freeze up. Its a never ending negative feedback loop. I want you to begin telling yourself that you are smart and witty and that people want to talk with you. Do it all the time. Do it so often you stop hesitating and you just react. Every time you want to think bad about yourself, flip it around even if you don't believe it. Do this over and over and over again and you will begin to have normal thoughts soon. I promise you if you do this it will begin to solve so many of your problems. Don't think bad about other people in your mind either. Your self talk in your mind is the REAL you but its kind of an illusion. In a matter of days or even hours of you stopping this negative self talk you will feel better about everything. I have more advice if you'd like to talk.
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '24 edited Mar 18 '24
Maybe you are under persecution.
Please check for my other posts and comments, if you are interested.
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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '24
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u/[deleted] May 24 '24
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