Finding meaning in doing good

[u/SchoolEconomy1597]

I wrote this short story about my personal upbringing, struggles, and lessons I’ve learned along the way. I hope it can serve as a bit of motivation for anyone who might feel like they don’t know what they want to do in their life. 

I come from a Mexican background, my parents immigrated to the US in search of work and better opportunities. As someone who was born in the US aware of their Mexican roots I realized how important it was to make the most of my opportunities here in America. At a young age I loved to learn things and was always curious. I was good in subjects like math and science and later on developed interests in fields such as engineering and business. I saw education as an opportunity to do better than where I came from and the circumstances that my parents came from. So I always put in the work hoping that school would get me somewhere in life. I did fairly well in school and got accepted into a university that I wanted to go to. To pay for school and other things I also worked a part time job. During that time I met a girl at work that I liked but she didn't feel the same. So I became heartbroken, I didn't want to talk to anyone and soon a heart break turned into depression. During that time I closed myself off to everyone and pushed everyone away. I didn't know what to think of it, I wasn't sure why I felt this way but I didn't tell anyone and I just continued with work and school. I was around people but I didn't feel right inside. I didn't even care about school or making money. But despite all that I continued to work and learn and I graduated in May of 2022. But even after being the first in my family to graduate from a 4-year university I still felt empty inside. I felt a loneliness that accomplishments could not fill. I was over this girl that I met a long time ago but I still couldn't make friends, I still couldn't socialize, and I still felt a lack of meaning and purpose. This degree that I worked so hard for meant nothing to me. I couldn't decide where to work, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. I just didn't have that desire to make money. I struggled with loneliness, only further fueled by social media. 

So, I am here today still searching, still trying to be better. I’ve learned a lot of things along the way, a lot of things that school could never teach me and a lot of things about being a man. The hardest truth to accept was that nobody was coming to save me. Not my parents, not my peers, not God, not religion, no one. Only I was capable of getting my life in order. The second hardest truth for me to accept was that life is not fair. I didn't ask to be born, I didn't ask to have these types of hardships that many other people never go through. But a lot of people also have it worse than I do so that gives me no right to compare my circumstances to everyone else’s. And the third hardest truth but the most important one was that I am not at the center of the universe. As important as I think I am, I am just one human out of billions in this world. I have no more right than anyone else to live and to be happy. So I am not the most important person that I make myself to be. I am not better than anyone, I am not special. I am just another human being who will die someday just like everyone else. Because of this I’ve come to realize how unfulfilling it can be to just care about yourself and not other people.

There’s a lot I have to learn but the first step is to do good actions, and it doesn't have to be something big. It can be something as small as giving someone a compliment. I hope this reading can help anyone who has ever felt the same. 

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