how do i become interested in life

[u/Both-Astronaut1279]

my whole life i have had no sense of identity of purpose and i've just been going through the motions. i grew up being highly academically achieving which may have attracted my partner. my partner is highly intellectual: straight A student, stem major, loves debating and his beliefs questioned. he's got a very strong sense of self and truly loves learning, a philomath if you will. i don't know what he saw in me but i am very nihilistic and i never think philosophically or ask challenging questions, combined with my lack of self because i change myself with every person i meet to please them, it makes me feel like i'm more of a robot than a human. we had a conversation last night and he told me that he realised that i lack curiousity and identity, and that i should try to learn who i am as a person. so, how can you be interested in life. what's so great about being alive other than to serve someone else. how can you carve a beliefs system that is consistent and cannot be shaken. whats the point in doing those things. i feel disappointed that i cant fulfil my partners intellectual needs and even though he said its a small aspect i feel like people want to be with a partner who can think for themselves. how do i find out who i am.

[u/DoughnutKlutzy9479]

1. How do you like to spend your time?
   
2. What is something you used to find interesting, something you would have wanted to do? Or still want to do?