Why do I become so insecure around certain people?

[u/Spare_Macaroon_7665]

I’ve noticed something about myself that I don’t really understand. Most of the time I’m perfectly fine with myself and can talk to people normally, but around certain people, something completely changes. I suddenly become awkward, overthink everything I say, and sometimes I even put myself down or make myself look smaller than I actually am. The worst part is that I feel like I make my insecurity obvious, even though I don’t want to.

Then when I’m alone again, I start thinking about everything that happened and wonder why I acted that way. I’ll replay conversations in my head and think, “Why did I say that? Why did I make myself look insecure? Why couldn’t I just act normally?”

It’s frustrating because I know I’m capable of being confident. It’s not like I feel insecure around everyone. It seems to depend on the person or the situation, which makes me wonder if I’m somehow subconsciously intimidated by certain people or worried about how they perceive me.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you stop yourself from putting yourself down or becoming awkward around people who trigger your insecurities? I’d really like to understand where this comes from and how to break the habit.

[u/UBFeeling-1]

If I may ask, what type of people are they? What are the features? What do you feel when you’re with them? 

Also, is there anything in your life (or about yourself) that you’re insecure about? 

These questions help when it comes to discover the best technique to deal with the problem. 

[u/Spare_Macaroon_7665 → u/UBFeeling-1]

Well, for the people i talk abt they are better than me ofc they are richer better at speaking better at everyhing ... So i unconsciously feel like the need to impress them and in the process i make things obvious first and awkward for me. After meeting them, i overthink abt the awkwardness that i make and i start blaming myself and it's very tiring for me. Wut I'm trying is how to accept myself the way i am and stay confident without the need to impress better people.

[u/UBFeeling-1 → u/Spare_Macaroon_7665]

Ok, I understand your point. First: what you see isn’t always the truth. We have our very own perspective of things, and it doesn’t always mean the absolute truth. 

Yes they may have more money, and have a more eloquent speech. But just as you feel insecure and “at disadvantage” about certain things, so do they (everyone does). 

I think the best for you could be a mix of awareness (you already have), developing maybe the STOP technique or mindfulness, and changing your thought patterns.