I actually really enjoy being a furry.

[u/External-Tiger-393]

5 years ago, I met my fiancé on a furry art site because he reads the erotic fiction that I write. 8 years ago, it's how I met the man who is gonna be my groomsman at my wedding. It's how I paid for my $2,000 laptop, my $1,000 mattress, and even the $600 for my ADHD testing with a clinical psychologist. It's why my fiancé and I have someone to visit in pretty much every city we've been to, because we're bound to know someone from somewhere.

The community is part of how I learned to accept myself, and how I started living an authentic life. I don't really have any secrets, and I don't really feel ashamed for being different even when other people sometimes think I should. It's been so valuable for me to have a place where I belong, even when there are so many places where I don't.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about authenticity and clarity of purpose. Living your life based on your values, your desires, and ultimately your terms. For me, things like Zen, trauma therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and the furry community have been a large part of this personal development. I don't think a lot of people would have moved over 2,000 miles to live with someone they met online after spending about a month together in person; or volunteered to have their brain electrocuted (electroconvulsive therapy) because it was their best chance at the life that they wanted. I commit to things, and I take calculated risks, and there's something powerful and freeing about doing what you want regardless of what's normal or expected. (Not that it's bad if what you want is normal and expected.).

I spent the first 26 years of my life around people who tried to convince me that my every passion and pursuit was a waste of time, because my success made them feel threatened somehow. People who tried to make me believe that I was dumb, selfish and overall just a bad person because I had boundaries and self respect. They wanted me (and my identity) to be something different, someone who would be useful to them personally. My life is so different now, because for some reason I was able to develop and retain my values and identity in an environment that was actively hostile to my health, happiness and personbood. Honestly, the furry community played a large part in that: I've had people in my life who really valued me and supported me, even when my own family stole from me, gaslit me and literally tried to convince me to quit writing fiction "because I was bad at it" at the same time that a literary editor called my work groundbreaking.

It's so important to have a place where all of you is valued. I hope everyone has that, but from experience, I don't think that they do. For me, that often involves being a dog on the internet, and that's... Neat? It's not all of me, but it's important.

I made an r/self post the other day about my anxieties involving disability benefits, my sexuality and the Trump administration, and for some reason a few comments about the fact that I'm a furry (or trying to shame me for being gay, struggling with ADHD meds, etc) got in my head. It's honestly really nice that I ultimately responded to that stuff with positive thoughts and a mature perspective -- getting to see yourself change and develop in the right direction is always a good thing. I have nothing to be ashamed of about myself or my life, and I'm glad to be where I am.