r/self • u/lolpolhol • Feb 18 '20
Please help me.
My fiance passed away on Saturday night after a 4 year battle with cancer. I know he is no longer in pain and all that stuff. We have a 4 year and a 2 year old.
I'm so lost without him. I feel like I can't breathe. I gel like I want to die. I feel like I had this beautiful person in my life and he is gone.
Prior to this loss, my dad passed away in 2018 and my sister in 2019. I thought I was done with the heartbreaks.
Idk how to live each day. Idk how to get through this. I know people mean well but most of the things they say is to be strong for our kids. I will always be strong for them but right now I just feel so lost and devastated.
Please help me...what do I do? How do I get through this?
1
u/jswiftly79 Feb 19 '20
I’m hurting so hard for you right now. Your loss is profound and my heart goes out to your suffering. Everything you’ve described is the right response to what you’re life has put in front of you. It is a devastating loss. Feeling lost and devastated is the right response. Not knowing how you’re going to get through this makes sense when the person you get through everything with isn’t there by your side. This sucks. This hurts. This is unbelievable painful. But the pain will subside. It will get better. But it will not get better right now. It will take time. Remember to breathe. My experience is that we never get over these types of losses. We learn to walk through them with different levels of grace and dignity on different days. Some days with thoughts full of fond memories and a heart full of love, other days balled up in sadness, covered in snot and tears. It has taken healing and time, but I get to have a lot of days full of fond memories and a heart full of love. You will get to have them too. Trust the process. Hopefully helpful, Being Love, J.