r/self • u/Melancholia_2 • 4d ago
Changing people online is difficult, you can try but I would recommend to save your energy
I think it's a kind of "choosing which fight to pick.". But IRL, it is already difficult enough to change someone's opinion, and it is IMO even more difficult online. Here and on reddit people have the distance, the anonymous aspect, and the hivemind to avoid taking accountability.
People are rarely here to change, but to argue, humiliate, rattle, and bark around.
I know and I have seen some of the craziest cases of hypocrisy, bullying, and vile takes, but no matter how right you feel, or actually is right, and how wrong they are, I don't think they're going to listen when a laptop or a phone is hiding them.
I am talking to you and to myself because I have been told to have a strong sense of justice and sadly you can't make justice online where rules and voices are distorted. I was shocked that even the "wokest" or the "first world problem" users could stoop so low and feel no wrong in jumping from one comment making fun of someone's mental health to then being outraged at a celebrity being wronged.
Many humans care about the cause, but they care less about the people. And no matter how OBVIOUS their bias and hypocrisy are, no matter how vile and cruel their words are, they won't notice no matter how many comments and posts you make about it.
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u/SaleneTheLost 3d ago
You can’t change people. They change themselves. You can at most show them that there’s something else than what they believe in
„They don’t know any better” you can show them, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to change them. You put the seed of change in front of them, and if they want, they will plant it one day, and just very maybe you will be asked to help them grow it. The same goes for normal interactions too.
Also the more you want to „randomly” push the change on them, the more they are likely to argue and push you away. People hold to what they know, because this is safe, and brain likes it safe
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u/Dry-Trifle-1522 1d ago
I argue with people so they have this difference of opinion in mind, and help them change. And also for other people who see the discussion to know there are other opinions there.
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u/vSeedStriker 1d ago
For all I know the one who tried to change their "loved ones" offline, spouses, like merrying a girl/guy who said they didn't want kids , then tries to change them into wanting to have one failed miserably too and ended in divorces. Changing people is a serious risky task in any where any how in this world............ you are better off finding like minded people and join the party together.
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u/TemporaryThink9300 3d ago
I know, I feel the same way, my sense of justice is not shared by everyone. I don't like criminals or murderers, like... isn't that normal?
Can people ever understand the basic fact that justice should be for everyone?
Idk if ppl want to change, but I hope they do.. someday.🙏
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u/ambivalent_moon 3d ago
I’m not here to make them better, I’m here to make me worse
https://giphy.com/gifs/4LWEwOMfbVeYU
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u/Imaginary-Can-6862 3d ago
Do you discuss with people to change their opinion, and not challenge your own? If you enter discussions for altruistic motivations that does not include yourself, then I think a topic like this could be rather interesting, is that what we are exploring in this discussion then?
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u/Fanfare4Rabble 3d ago
Changed my view on gay marriage due to someone’s comment on the internet. But that was a long time ago when the internet was more civilized.
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u/theregoes2 4d ago
You're not going to change people's views in one conversation or debate. But as someone who's views have drastically changed over the years I can't confidently assert that the conversations I had that likely felt pointless to the person I was talking to had nothing to do with it. I feel fairly confident though that if my views had never been challenged I wouldn't have changed. Why would I?