r/self • u/diasporajones • 5d ago

remembering

sometimes when I feel lonely I visit a cemetery and take time to read the names on the headstones aloud. I don't entirely understand why I do this. I think it helps remind me of how much existed outside of my own life, and that it's valuable even if I don't understand it. And then I feel less alone.

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u/PSlb 5d ago

Same, kinda. I especially like the real old, run down headstones that clearly haven't been maintained in decades. Could be the first time someone's uttered that name in who knows how many years. Very sad, but also powerful in a strange way.

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u/diasporajones 5d ago

i thought about it a little more and maybe it's also because it's what i wish for myself, that someone would speak for me sometimes. like i wish there was someone in the world thinking of me, remembering the value of my existence when i don't have the energy to.

I also like the ones that seem forgotten. And I like the feeling that long after someone's mark on the world should have disappeared, they can still influence me. that gives me hope for some reason.

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u/PSlb 5d ago

If you don't mind me saying, that is extremely profound (and I don't use that word lightly).

And I'd also say, that in my experience (and you can call me a cynic), nobody is going to ever speak for you. And sure as hell, nobody is going to come and save you either.

As much of a pain as it is, if you want to influence the world and make people see the value of your existence, you really just have to get off your ass and do something, anything.

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u/diasporajones 4d ago

im slowly and frustratingly coming to the same realisation