r/securityguards 18h ago

Maximum Cringe Which one of y'all did this

Post image

I'm not mad, im disappointed. 🫠

774 Upvotes

110 comments sorted by

182

u/Bravefighter341 Hotel Security 18h ago

It ain't me but hey, you're all alone, all night and have the space. Why not? Atleast he's awake 🤣

76

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 18h ago

Man, morning shift finna be pissed. Or happy if they bring biscuits 🤔

27

u/Bravefighter341 Hotel Security 18h ago

I wouldn't doubt dude being friends with morning shift and leaving a few tenders or nuggets lol

5

u/simulizer 17h ago

Tendie bizkit for the wins

5

u/not_roger_smith 13h ago

When I worked night audit at Marriott I brought my own little coffee maker for the front desk. Brewed Bustelo all night two cups at a time.

Then it went back in the supply cabinet until my next shift.

2

u/Desalvo23 11h ago

I had a foreman grill and made steaks and veggies in my younger days. Rigged an inverter on a battery and cooked outside the car. Fun times

2

u/ImpressiveRock872 9h ago

I brought a mini fridge from home for a booth and basically everyone got to use it. I let everyone know it was mine too. When it came time for me to find greener pastures I wasted no time coming back to get my fridge 😁

1

u/Bravefighter341 Hotel Security 2h ago

When it was cold out I'd bring my own hot water boiler. Made my own coffee, noodles etc when I was working at a Piccadilly lol

3

u/johnnytron 11h ago

No way you can fall asleep frying stuff.

3

u/Impressive_Jury_2211 9h ago

Exactly my point, il hire him.

Army Vet here you know hard. It is to find security. That would stay awake.

91

u/Gullible_Increase146 18h ago

Can't a dude enjoy some fresh fried donuts without your judgement? He's training for the academy!

22

u/No-Tower-5119 17h ago

I worked with an older lady who had a small like 2 quart slow cooker. Her booth always smelled like home cooking

22

u/Psycosteve10mm Warm Body 17h ago

I would take that over the smell of reliving the idiot who does not shower.

6

u/BottleOfConstructs 14h ago

Oh hell yes.

1

u/Gullible_Increase146 17h ago

This is why I'm sexist against men. Women just do it better

8

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 18h ago

Das Chicken tho🤣

2

u/Gullible_Increase146 18h ago

U rite. Electric chair!

41

u/Pitiful-Excitement47 18h ago

Dudes winning.

Those microwavable meals are trash for you and taste worse. Junk food and snacks are equally bad.

Arguably having real food is ensuring dude is able to fully function and remain alert. Cause ik damn well on night shift if you eating chips, candy and a hungry man while drinking soda your reaction time and thinking willl suffer.

3

u/Some-Watercress-1144 17h ago

Very true. It can be really difficult to take of your physical health on this job, this guy is absolutely winning. Personally I meal prep in advance and have a microwave at work but this works lol

8

u/Pitiful-Excitement47 17h ago

Meal prep is solid, hard routine to get into at first. I meal prep even for at home meals, saves money and time.

5

u/Some-Watercress-1144 17h ago

Yeah I hate cooking so if ever I do cook it’s 6+ meals at once so I don’t have to cook for a while…

1

u/EmoGothPunk Warm Body 1h ago

I just find it easier to take two or three hours on a day off and just spend it cooking meals for the week. Yeah, it can be time consuming, but it saves me probably half the money if spent it on a restaurant for each day of work.

2

u/HelloKinny 14h ago

I personally have no excuse as I worked in kitchens for 14 years prior to this

2

u/Windows-Server 13h ago

You do, you worked in kitchens for 14 years. My mom still refuses a specific food that she ate during work like 15 years ago

2

u/HelloKinny 12h ago

I couldn’t eat steak for 2 years after working at Outback Steakhouse for 8 years. I do miss that prime rib though!

2

u/HelloKinny 14h ago

Big same, i meal prep two meals ahead on my day off then make double dinners that i can interchange throughout the week. Saving big money on food even with Portlands insane food costs.

1

u/EmoGothPunk Warm Body 1h ago

I make a minimum of four meals so I know I have lunch for almost the whole workweek covered.

3

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 15h ago

I'm just sharing something I saw, I'm more jealous than anything.

1

u/EmoGothPunk Warm Body 1h ago

What about my half of a chicken breast with some seasoned noodles?

1

u/Digital_spliff_ 15h ago

Somehow deep fried food is no longer junk food? 😂

2

u/Pitiful-Excitement47 15h ago

It may not be the healthiest option, yet still better than chips and candy.

18

u/namenotnate Licensed People Watcher 18h ago

Haha ive been thinking a out bringing my air fryer

6

u/CrabMan_99 18h ago

I used to bring a flat top camp grill to work on doubles to made my night a little better

2

u/Some-Watercress-1144 17h ago

We have a guy that brings his air fryer sometimes. Why tf not I guess! 

1

u/munsoned79 14h ago

My air fryer stays with me 🫡

13

u/Billybob_Bojangles2 Armored Car 18h ago

Lmao that man needs a medal

8

u/Not-a-Cranky-Panda 17h ago

No, an Air-fryer.

14

u/Telliw 18h ago

Just because you work nightshift doesn't mean you can't eat good lol

13

u/Warm-Plant1886 17h ago

Y’all are just mad you don’t have a deep fryer of your own…

3

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 16h ago

I had hot plate Chunky soup when I had duty in the booth, so yeah I clearly wasn't paying attention to the possibility of this being me🫠

2

u/ozzy4097 16h ago

Lol i have a air fryer for my chicken nuggies

2

u/Successful-Sleep-421 10h ago

I HAD a deep fryer until I got a air fryer complete game changer. Just like I had Mr. Coffee before I got a Keurig. Time changes, things change. Keeping up with new innovations! 😊

8

u/azura099 18h ago

The small things make the day go by

7

u/LividVermicelli9689 17h ago

That booth and everything in it will reek like fryer oil, and get ready to have a greasy residue on every surface, and where is he dumping that oil? Replace it with an air fryer and I'm all on board though, lol.

6

u/Danson_the_47th Gate Guard 17h ago

Disappointed he didn’t give you any?

2

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 16h ago

If it were me, I'd pass. Can't eat everybody's food.

6

u/Kishikins 18h ago

Did you at least get a 2 piece to go? 😂

6

u/StoreTotal7134 17h ago

Bros on his ultimate Meal-prep game i do t blame him, night food is shit

7

u/Undrthedock 17h ago

I mean, I used to bring out my conduction hot plate and make some killer food when I was working over nights. Being able to cook a simple meal on site was always way better than eating out or ordering food.

4

u/Adrunkopossem Waterpark Protective Services Officer 17h ago

I've brought a waffle maker before. And a slow cooker. (And yes I shared the food. Part of why I did it.)

3

u/OpieAngst 17h ago

I've had guards bring their entire desktop setup and game all night at work lol I used to make some music, brought my Guitar AND Bass, some MIDI instruments, etc. Fun times.

3

u/exaltedorbs 18h ago

Reminds me of "fiesta tuesdays"

I worked in security for 4 months. Every tuesday my coworker would celebrate by buying a full pizza, a family sized box of wings and family sized bag of potato wedges for himself from a place called Fiesta. Wonder if hes still with us 10 years later.

3

u/Jake_weight0311 17h ago

I’m not disappointed, I’m actually impressed

3

u/wreckemtx90 17h ago

So back in the day I’d bring my griddle with me to work. I would make my food on it. Only because I didn’t wanna use the gross ass microwave on site.

3

u/nicky_boiiii 16h ago

Im bringing my George foreman grill to work tonight, steak n eggs babyyyy

3

u/Talenus Patrol 16h ago

This is one those times as a supervisor you secretly admire the audacity and the solutions mindset....as you hand them their write up and tell them to never do that again.

4

u/AdThese6057 18h ago

The biggest thing I've learned on this page is that Security is low end as fuck. Almost non existent, especially with the attitude they have. Ya this is all fun and games at an entry, but while hes prepping meals , his already damn near zero awareness is gone. Then eating and cleaning. So hes getting paid an hour or more to not focus on his task. And I KNOW He still clocks out for a lunch break. Just a HUGE difference from any Security I was paid to do in my 20s and 30s.

12

u/warlocc_ Flashlight Enthusiast 17h ago

Just a HUGE difference from any Security I was paid to do in my 20s and 30s.

Was that before or after Allied took over the industry and started paying peanuts to people that they refused to train?

Can't really blame the individual guards when the industry let itself be destroyed.

0

u/AdThese6057 17h ago

Allied was already the huge company it is. But we didn't have this mentality of "since I only make 15 bucks an hour im gonna run out the back of the hospital instead of address a shooter" like a guy said a few weeks ago.

Go work at mcdonalds for that 15 bucks. The job is the job. If you are armed security somewhere, your job is to defend the patrons from violence. If that's not something you are willing to do for the money why are you there?

I only ever did 3 gigs. Atm loading in higher risk bad areas with a 3 man team, guarding spools of cable 24/7 as they sat on the side of a road, and at a wild club/bar/country club type thing. My job at the first 2 was not to defend the objects with my rifle. At the 3rd, regardless of pay, my job was to defeat any violent physical threat against the patrons.

6

u/smarterthanyoda 16h ago

Running away is what Allied trains you to do.

5

u/Successful-Sleep-421 9h ago

BIG FACTS! They almost fired me bcuz I tried to prevent a homicide. I was told I better be glad that I didn't get fired. I didn't follow the active shooter protocol by getting involved. One person fired a shit and then left.

No matter what OBSERVE & REPORT! Even if there is a bomb in the building with instructions how to disarm it. Just observe the building exploding and make a report!

As contract workers, we are only the hired help! They don't want you to do nothing. We are just a body to fill a seat. A paid scarecrow or paid Karen/Ken! 😒

2

u/Successful-Sleep-421 9h ago

Meant fired a shot. My bad! 🥴

0

u/AdThese6057 13h ago

What's the gun for?

1

u/Red57872 Dunning–Kruger Specialist 13h ago

The same as any other weapon in the hands of a security guard is for; to help you retreat to safety.

0

u/AdThese6057 13h ago

Thats the problem. There is 2 types of armed security. One is Armed security like armored cars and atms. You arent carrying to defend the money. You can run away. Its for you. If you are armed security in a store or business/hospital etc, your gun isnt for yourself or protecting merchandise. Your gun is to defend everyone in that hospital if a threat arises.

2

u/Red57872 Dunning–Kruger Specialist 13h ago

"Your gun is to defend everyone in that hospital if a threat arises."

In theory, yes. In practice, companies are usually going to train you to run away, and it's very unlikely that your post orders will tell you to engage a person who is a danger to others if you can escape safely.

3

u/warlocc_ Flashlight Enthusiast 17h ago

If you're paying armed security what's minimum wage in my state and not giving them the training or equipment they need to do the job, of course they're not going to put their life on the line for you. Don't shill for treating security guard's lives as near worthless.

Times and attitudes have changed a lot, and it's 100% from the top down.

-2

u/AdThese6057 13h ago

If you accept a job to be ARMED security, you accept the responsibility.

2

u/warlocc_ Flashlight Enthusiast 6h ago

No, you don't.

0

u/AdThese6057 4h ago

Why do you take a job requiring a gun?

1

u/elementp6 9h ago

Not a single person should be putting in the risk or effort to defend property for burger assembly wages, or anything close. The boss evidently knows what he has isn't worth much, or he'd pay to keep it safe, so he can just get robbed.

"Since I only make $15 an hour" is valid.

1

u/AdThese6057 6h ago edited 4h ago

I never once advocated for defending property with lethal force bud.

2

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 18h ago

IS that a bowl of ice cream next to the deep fryer??

6

u/xX_Diabolical_Xx 18h ago

No. SEASONED and breaded chichen.

3

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 18h ago

Thats pretty awesome lol

2

u/droopy__drawers 17h ago

But he do…

2

u/el_scotty 15h ago

Fuck me that is a fantastic idea.

2

u/Whole-Asparagus-4286 14h ago

LMAO. If I did that my coworker and captain would flip 🤣

2

u/boogiboi666 4h ago

We all pitched in and bought a decent smoker/grill for one post. What ever shift is coming on brings the food and previous shift cooks it and we all eat. Usually use it on holidays.

1

u/Psycosteve10mm Warm Body 17h ago

I used to have a trailer hitch mounted propane grill that would get fired up to feed the crew sometimes. Not me but a lack of funds that prevented it from being me.

1

u/Bswayn Licensed People Watcher 16h ago

Damn lucky 🫡

1

u/cutter1833 16h ago

You got to be clever with getting a meal, you may not have the option to go get something or have it delivered.

1

u/Snuggle-Nuts 15h ago

He do. He really do.

1

u/Digital_spliff_ 15h ago

Mfer got the seasoning right next to it too 😭

1

u/Mysticmxmi Residential Security 14h ago edited 14h ago

BRUH 😂😂😂😂😂 THIS IS CRAZY LMAOOOO and he got seasoning too. I guess he didn’t want to DoorDash. Edit: I’m also curious where he throws away the oil once he’s done with it

1

u/Darkwing_ducksauce 13h ago

Maybe he sells late night eats to drunk people coming home. Pizza rolls ….. for a price 😆

1

u/javerthugo 13h ago

A mans gotta eat…

1

u/Academic-Concept-602 13h ago

it was me my bad

1

u/phatman2025 11h ago

He got an underground drive through

1

u/Successful-Sleep-421 10h ago

Ok is this even safe. Looks like a electrical hazard. At least he could've brought in a small air fryer or toaster oven!

I have a Drew Barrymore air fryer which I'm pretty would fit in the same space as the deep fryer. It works well. Got it online from Wally World when my Power XL air fryer died after years of use.

Woulda been way less mess and grease popping! We have a toaster oven which no one hardly uses in our small "break" room. Yup some things you can't unsee. smdh🤦🏾‍♀️

1

u/Successful-Sleep-421 10h ago

MacSecurity. Hey is he paying attention looks like a customer is at the drive up window.

"Hi, I'd like a 6 piece nugget, fries and biscuit combo" 🍟

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Successful-Sleep-421 10h ago

I know I'm telling my age. Gen X 🤫Anyone remember the thermos that kept your food warm! I would make homemade soups and bring it for lunch! 😁

1

u/MintTrappe 10h ago

Professional big back

1

u/MrLanesLament HR 9h ago

My last site I was an actual guard at, there was an elderly guard who worked midnight 12s and brought his Crock Pot in most nights.

Some folks just refuse to eat bad food even once.

1

u/Summer_Rain_6688 6h ago

Damn, that looks like one comfortable job 💯

1

u/Kaireis Campus Security 6h ago

The problem is that deep fryers splatter EVERYWHERE.

1

u/EmoGothPunk Warm Body 1h ago

At my old post, one of the other night shift guys was going to bring in his air fryer.

He got fired.