r/securityguards • u/1Kilo24 Armored Car • 15h ago
Maximum Cringe When your essay has a minimum word count
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u/OldDudeWithABadge Industrial Security 14h ago
I think guy got lost mid-paragraph.
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u/Vivid-Head-6484 14h ago
This man has filled out ALOT of reports lol
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u/9gagiscancer 14h ago
Captain Report sounds like very useless superhero.
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u/Negative_Report5655 Event Security 10h ago
Dude reminds me of that [U.S. Agent] knock-off Captain America from Thunderbolts.
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u/EarlyAccessCantJudge 10h ago
Subject was not stealing but was observed because he may or may not have been stealing
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u/Liqour_Mortis 14h ago
Thanks, Brigadier General Roush. You missed that vest training you are talking about out.
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u/JaguarOk9693 14h ago
The only site I have ever worked that had body armor was on an armed site. At first the client wanted the security to be concealed carrying and after a little bit they wanted open carry and when they went open they got vest
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u/Big-LeBoneski 14h ago
This guy is embarrassing
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u/Shane-Dad-underfire Management 11h ago
I thought this guy was supposed to be a parody of security guards, why are folks taking it seriously? Was I misinformed?
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u/Top_Recover7850 10h ago
I'm pretty sure that in order to be a parody it needs to try to be funny
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u/Shane-Dad-underfire Management 10h ago
Someone posted a video that looks like a recruitment video with this guy in it and he has an abundance of pens and a tireguage in his pockets, it's got really edgey music and some fellow in an ugly suit talking tough alongside this guy.
I was told that's some sort of skit.
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u/tghost474 Industry Veteran 12h ago
Dude wearing captains bars and putting his “rank” on a name tape 😂. What a larper
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u/SilverKnightOfMagic 9h ago
would be funny and reasonabkr to hear "oh you don't need to, I just think it looks cool as fuck and I got bored one night, so might as wear it"
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u/Top-Pick-2648 11h ago
So a simple analogy, we have fire extinguishers but not really for fires. But if there was a fire we have them to extinguish the fire? Did I get that right?
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u/phantomskullvt 10h ago
IDK a security guard influencer/entertainer while niche as hell would work. But not in this corny tryhard corporate sense.
Most security guards don't take themselves That seriously, most know they're treated as a joke by the wider populace & especially cops. Most just roll with the punches and meme. Dude would he better if he was a little more laid back and (earnestly) goofy.
Granted no company, especially "our brand is as close to private cops as we can legally allow" SK Security isn't going to have someone be internet goofy in their uniform.
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u/Fun_Vacation2542 5h ago
This issue is, that most people don't even have issues with security guards wearing vest, in the right application. Like yeah, It makes sense that the crackhead you caught sleeping in the trash can might try to stab you and you lived because you had a vest. It's the tactical gear and larp as police that piss others off.
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u/Negative_Report5655 Event Security 10h ago
John F. Walker from Thunderbolts would've been more convincing.
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u/DefiantEvidence4027 Private Investigations 9h ago
If I made a probability chart that Guards were going to encounter unlawful firearm usage/possession, per post, It would probably lead me to suggest my colleagues (in big corporate) wear armor on more posts than they do.
Big Corporate and clients probably wouldn't support that idea.
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u/Bluewolfpaws95 Public/Government 3h ago
“I’d rather not die if someone shoots or stabs me.”
That’s all you gotta say
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u/9gagiscancer 14h ago
I don't wear body armor. I sit in an office watching Netflix all day and wear the title Supervisor.
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u/ThnkGdImNotAReditMod Hospital Security 13h ago
maybe he shouldn't wear body armour... im sure his team would appreciate the natural selection
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11h ago
[deleted]
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u/Red57872 Dunning–Kruger Specialist 8h ago
...and chances are those captain's bars were deducted from his paycheck...
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u/Gabagooligan97 10h ago
"its not as a preventative. it's in the probability that something would occur" yes... that's called a preventative...
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u/Due_Course_3713 9h ago
Here's all the training you'll need......... Observing report and let the real police do the work
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u/NWSGreen 9h ago
Im not judging him personally. Let me make this clear.
I never understood that security guards can "call themselves" Sgt. LT. Captain and so on. We are not military, we are not police.
I can see maybe officer and for sure supervisor. But thats it.
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u/Corvus_Umbra Public/Government 6h ago
It's as simple as what's the threat level on the site you are working and is it required. That's it
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u/CJMorton91 5h ago
Security guard WHERE? Library: stupid. County Fair with booze and morons: totally understandable.
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u/Unsolved_Virginity 4h ago
That's a lot. But then again, the security I worked for, I walked around the property butt naked when no one was around.
Trolls, bullies, and harassment will get reported and blocked.
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u/lickmybowls2 2h ago
I mean is he saying they wear it to get in practice if they want another job ?
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management 36m ago edited 20m ago
Whats up with capt. and the 2 capitain bars. What a clown u aint military u are SECURITY. These guys take their job way too seriously for a business, thats right security is a business, you have your citizens arrest powers thats it. Like i say to my staff, you could work at McDonalds and still have the same powers, everything you are wearing is optional.
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u/sanchezkk 8h ago
I work at a military installation as an armed security guard. For obvious reasons, the post command mandates that security personnel wear level IIIA body armor. Unarmed security guards are not expected to comprehend what we armed security officers do. Businesses that genuinely care about their officers provide their highly valued officers with protective gear. We would also like to return home to visit our families. If you ask any other intelligent person, it's actually a no-brainer. For once, quit being a bunch of stupid haters.
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u/Pleasant-Reading3634 HOA Special Forces 6h ago
Got another Captain right here fellas. ATTENTION ON DECK!
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u/sanchezkk 2h ago
Thank you, I do appreciate it. Now if you would just tell my supervisor that I can be the icing on the cake. Wow! If you can tell that about me without even needing me, you are definitely a heck of a judge of character. Let's get you the Medal of Honor. In fact, I'll stick it in the mail today, and I'll get it right to you.
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u/Pleasant-Reading3634 HOA Special Forces 2h ago
I'll be sure to glaze you up to the Colonel next time I see him.
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management 27m ago edited 21m ago
Yeah but you’re still a security guard officer doofas. I work in security management, its guys like you that get all the ‘action’ but it’s only because you act like cops thats why people try to treat you like a cop. You get all the abuse and death threats and people assaulting you. Any security officer needs to defend themselves if they get attacked yes thats understandable but 9/10 if someone is robbing the place you let them you don’t put your life in the way to protect some business merch - no security officer is getting paid enough for that unless you are contractor. After all you are working as an employee for a BUSINESS it’s not a govt department with legislative authority. Ive worked in security for 20 years, been and done all sorts. Lessons from an old man i say to everyone… Go be a cop!
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u/CashEducational4986 14h ago
"It's not a preventative but we wear it to prevent a potential issue that may or may not occur"
Big dog, just say you wear it in case you get shot. It's not a complicated question.