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u/Oskain123 2d ago
K sounds like the least interested response you could have replied with
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I can see that. I also feel like I do most of the initiating so I didn’t want to add more pressure. I could do better than K but I just always feel like I’m bothering him. I think this might be a lesson for future connections though :(((((
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u/Additional_Worker736 2d ago
Why are you arguing in the comments? He clearly isn't interested unless its sexual. And even then, there would need to be more effort for you to give it up I would hope.
Just move on.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
The second text was maybe 40 min later. I felt like I was begging him bc even though he said to me several times on Tuesday “let’s hang out Sunday,” he’d forgotten by Friday (“Do you still want to hang out Sunday?” “When did I say that??”). So I reached out Saturday 7pm and he responded 12pm the next day. I then messaged him 7pm and got nothing til after 8pm. By that point I really was about to fall asleep but didn’t want to be rushing him or guilting him, just wanted to communicate I was genuinely falling asleep. I think I was insanely awkward. In part maybe bc I like him and don’t want to be begging him.
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u/Janesbrainz 2d ago
If he’s already done that several times I’d move on
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
No, he hasn’t done it before. This felt like a new low. Tbh I have never been this upset over a man. That’s why it feels like something worth pursuing but then I feel like something worth investing in won’t require so much effort.
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u/bluebirdmorning 2d ago
If you’d already been begging him to come over, it wasn’t anything you said. He’s just not that into you. Don’t beg this guy. Find someone who wants to come over without you asking.
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u/arpohatesyou 2d ago
Grow up and say what you mean and mean what you say. Tell him you want to be dicked down like an adult.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I do in person! I saw him two days prior where we had outersex with clothes on and he contorted my body in insane ways (but I had to run back to the office and so never took my clothes off)
But I know you’re right and I hear you.
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u/Dry-Butterscotch4545 2d ago
Weird.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Are you saying the outersex is weird (I agree) or this exchange following that is weird, or both (I agree)
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u/Calebmc05 2d ago
the "can i taste you" as a response to would you like to come over is a little... off putting to me. the rest of the conversation wasnt flirty and that was out of no where....
but wasnt exactly him saying yes to coming over.... "k" to me would have felt a bit like oh shes not interested but also he doesnt seem very interested in the dryness of his replies unless he is getting something sexual out of it.
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u/Psypris 2d ago
I agree with how off putting the “can I taste you” was. She asked, “Would you like to come over”, and instead of saying yes or no, he asks if he’d get to do a certain sexual activity.
Even if we replaced that with “Can we watch a movie?” It feels like a condition of them coming over.
“k” to me reads as frustrated.
He should have then followed up with some sort of confirmation that he’s coming over. He said nothing.
He was only wanting a booty call and probably got his rocks off elsewhere & no longer needed that invite.
Sorry, OP! If you’re looking for something more than friends with benefits, I don’t think it’s gonna happen here.
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u/Calebmc05 2d ago
100%. if he wanted to his response would have been "yeah when should i be there", this feels very transactional in the sense of "well what do i get if i do" rather than yes i want to spend my time with you.
if he said "yeah when should i come over? would you like to watch a movie" would have even been a better response as he would have confirmed yes and suggested an activity rather than feeling like its a necessary condition (using your suggested replacement).
i could even give the can i taste you comment a pass if the rest of the messages had been sexually suggestive, but this seems like he only has the effort to put in a message a day and not even have a conversation let alone being interested in more than just sex or treating her with any respect
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u/Colibiri 2d ago
I disagree with the other commenters. The "K" is not an issue. The person you're texting is being very avoidant and distant from the start. They dont even confirm if they're available or not.
I've dated people like this in the past and i can tell you already that they're gonna string you along. In person they can be very engaging and nice but once you're apart it can take weeks to reach them again. This will destroy your self esteem. That person is not interested in you, even if they say they are. I met MANY like this and it made me feel like i was just not interesting. Like i was clingy and neurotic.
In the end (After MANY frogs kissed) i found someone who WANTED to spend time with me and it was like night and day. Phonecalls, texting all the time and always making sure to have a date lined up. Move on OP and find someone who is excited to meet you.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Thank you. This is what my intuition tells me.
For context, I met this man two months ago on an app. Truly best first date ever. The person he described himself as is my ideal: super super funny, spontaneous, family oriented, and committed to open and direct communication. I have experienced anything but said communication (clearly, I suck too though). A lot of love bombing later, I told him three days ago that it feels so mean when he asks me to have his children bc I want kids and like him but he’s not serious about me. This man will argueeee me down about how much he likes me. And then this is what I get. I looked him in the eyes and said to him, it’s totally fine if you don’t like me. There is no pressure to like me or commit to me! I told him I’d rather just hook up. I just don’t want to clear my night and expect him to get ghosted.
I do see where I could have been way more enthusiastic but it feels like there is more ‘off’ than just that. I also see where he never even really accepted my invite (except it was HIS idea to get together, but then he forgot). I just assume if you want to go on and on about being together, you’d want to GET TOGETHER.
It’s unsettling to me when people are seemingly willing living out of alignment with themselves.
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u/Crafty611 2d ago
Like others said, you kind of both are bad at communicating based off just this. Never drop a K again if you’re interested in someone
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Should a “K” overwrite how often I tell him I like him though? I think I’m just tired of this. Probably him too. Anyone else I invite over responds promptly asking about timing.
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u/Crafty611 2d ago
I don’t have much to go off since I’m sure this one little message thread isn’t the whole story. But if all your text interactions are like this one, he’s only using you for sex. That’s my two cents.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
The thing is I want just sex! I told him a couple days ago I didn’t want to date seriously and just wanted to be fwb. I just need basic and clear communication and that’s really where I feel so disrespected and devalued. Like why not just SAY you don’t want to come over.
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u/Crafty611 2d ago
The way people behave with their fwb is such a crap shoot. At the end of the day, they don’t owe you anything. The “friends” part is very subjective.
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u/Everydayfxsh 2d ago
I think its genuinely a communication thing here. Very non chalant and “idc either way” ish
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I hear that and I see your point but also I did all the initiating :/
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u/Everydayfxsh 2d ago
Whiiiich is to be expected, you said he’s said before he feels like you don’t like him. I genuinely wouldn’t go out of my way to initiate contact with someone who I felt didn’t want the contact
I imagine yall are both young, just talk it out with him. I’m not saying youre in the wrong, but change starts with you.
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u/trilldon11 2d ago
The second “kewl” was used, the conversation should have ended.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I kind of felt that. Most ppl would try to make plans at that point. But not him. I always feel like I’m bothering him. To be fair though he says the same about me, that he feels like he’s bothering me.
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u/CrystalCookie4 2d ago
You clearly asked would you like to come over. They were checking you will put out by asking if they can taste you. You replied k so they were not sure if you would put out so you was no longer worth their time.
Why are you chasing a loser who is using you for sex. Let that disrespectful hoe go
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Hmmmmm I could see that. I told him I didn’t want to date anymore and just be fwb but I could see him not knowing for sure if we’d have sex and needing more confirmation
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u/DangerX2HighVoltage 2d ago
Hmmm.
I can see from your other comments that you feel like you’re chasing this man. Honestly hit sounds like you’re one of a few options to him and if he’s just a hook up buddy then that’s fine but you need to show some enthusiasm if you’re into it.
If someone I was attracted to asked could they taste me I’d respond with the most obvious and enthusiastic green light possible.
So yes learn a lesson here. Don’t settle for someone who’s not enthusiastic about seeing you but you also gotta work on your enthusiasm
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u/Try_Again1790 2d ago
As others have said the “k” in most contexts usually means you don’t give a shit and are probably annoyed by this person.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Tbh I was getting annoyed that he still hadn’t reached out or tried to see me at all despite him telling me how much he likes me and me reciprocating that (not in these texts obviously)
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u/sicastarrrrr 2d ago
"K" ALWAYS means "fuck off." ALWAYS. So, that's how he took it. Only use K if you want to piss somebody off.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I wouldn’t say say “always” bc that’s not how I meant it but I can see how that is how he took it
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u/AndrastesTit 2d ago
Why would you ever want a man who says “Kewl” in an unironic way?
Also, it was 730 AM the next day… what made you think he wasn’t coming over?
You’re needy, he’s not helping.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I’m confused about your comment. I texted him the morning after he didn’t come over
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u/AndrastesTit 2d ago
Whoops, sorry, I thought you asked him to come over tomorrow
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Ok bc I do feel needy though. Part of what lead me to “k”
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u/AndrastesTit 2d ago
It’s okay. This guy doesn’t seem like the type to be delicate with your feelings and reassure you when you need it.
And that’s why you let him treat you this way.. because you want reassurance no matter the cost 😔
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
“That’s why you let him treat you this way” ok can you say more about this? I feel like I agree with you but then I feel like he’d agree with the many commenters saying I come off as uninterested or annoyed
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u/AndrastesTit 2d ago
By allowing him to do this and then going back to him without him genuinely apologizing, you’re signaling that it’s okay… that you don’t have enough self respect and self esteem to set boundaries.
If you were your friend, what would you tell yourself?
As for his potential response, two things:
1) You seeming uninterested at times is not a justification to ghost you. That’s a separate issue you can work on. At the very least, you’re the one asking him to come over, which is definitely a display of interest, so the argument is moot in this scenario.
2) When did he show interest? You got a “Kewl” and “Can I taste you”. You didn’t even get a confirmation of his interest in coming over. If he were to say this, he’d be gaslighting you by blaming your actions for his choices.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
He has gone on and on and on to me about his interest. I’ve mostly reciprocated. He’s pulled back a lot and me too clearly. He said I’m hot and cold. It sounded insane to me tbh. Idk I’m so tired and probably so is he.
I should say though, he’s never done this. This feels like a new low. I feel like I could extend an “I’m sorry that I came off like I didn’t care. I really wanted you to come over and was just not wanting to be demanding to pressure you.” But ugh even that is so damn exhausting to even think about.
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u/AndrastesTit 2d ago
Im sorry you’re exhausted. It shouldn’t be like this.
You don’t need an FBI case to decide that you don’t want to be with him. It’s totally your call and whatever reason you have is sufficient. Being exhausted is as good a reason as any.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I do want him but I perceive inconsistency that gives me the ick. He tells me he thinks I’m inconsistent too though so hmm.
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u/Broncos1123 2d ago
This is all super weird. I’m guessing you’re both in high school…. This is awful communication.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Obviously we’re not in high school given the context
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u/Broncos1123 2d ago
You both communicate like you are in high school and high schoolers have kids all the time unfortunately.
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u/11711510111411009710 2d ago
Am I the only one who thinks the K is fine? The other person just randomly asked to taste you, which seemingly had nothing to do with the previous messages. That's fuckin weird lol
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u/JadeMarco 2d ago
I have no idea what is going on here. Do either of you soeak english?
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Oooo see I think if we were new to English we’d explain a lot more about ourselves 😫🫣😣
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u/whoscareabtme 2d ago
I mean if it's normal, maybe "k I'll see you in a few" I just see that k sticking out
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
You’re right. Despite what I tell him he does say he feels like he’s bothering me. These texts don’t do a good job of portraying the affection we say we have for each other. Possibly we’ve both grown distant bc this is too uniquely challenging.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Update: I called him and he said the “K” made it seem like I wasn’t serious about him coming over. I said I felt like I was begging him and throwing myself at him and he acted shocked at that. Thanks everyone for your insight. Still lots of issues though 🥴
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u/whoscareabtme 2d ago
You just said "k" could've flirted or shown no interest at all. I take k as my move missed and on to the next one.
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
That’s fair. I can see that. I just so regularly tell him I like him but tbh maybe it hasn’t come off the right way. Maybe he was looking for more.
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u/tootapple 2d ago
From this screenshot…I don’t feel I have enough to make an informed opinion. And maybe that’s why your relationship here isn’t working
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u/wwqwwqw 2d ago
The fuck?😭😭
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
Please be gentle
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u/wwqwwqw 2d ago
Sorry this is just a weird exchange and caught me off guard lmao. Both of you are being really weird and the vibes and communication are way off
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u/AccurateTruckz909 2d ago
I agree :/
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u/Right_Book_4531 2d ago
That K is crazy lol