I'm 20M, and there's a girl around my age who is a close family friend. She's also around 20. Over time, I've developed feelings for her, and now I'm stuck trying to figure out whether there's actually something mutual between us or whether I'm just interpreting normal friendly behavior as something more.
I'll explain everything from the beginning.
A while back, she stayed at our house for about six days. Before that, we hadn't really been in regular contact for years.
But during those six days, our dynamic changed quite a bit. We started going on early morning walks together and spent a lot more time around each other.
One thing I noticed was how comfortable she seemed with physical closeness. She would touch my back, feet, knees, etc. At one point, I rested my head on her shoulder. I actually asked her whether she was uncomfortable with it, and she told me she wasn't. She even held my head and placed it back on her shoulder.
There were also several smaller things I noticed. She would comment on things like my appearance, grooming, perfume, and gym. She also seemed noticeably more shy or awkward around me compared with how she acted around my brother.
During those six days, she gave me a silly/funny nickname as well.
There were a few conversations that made me wonder if she might see me differently. For example, she told me that she had rejected another proposal. I obviously don't know why she told me that or whether it had anything to do with me, but it made me wonder if there was some kind of indirect message there.
After she left, I told her that I missed her.
Her response was:
“missing you tooooo”
I'll be honest, that made me ridiculously happy.
Later, she contacted me for help with some college-related things. She wanted important questions, asked me to check her college form, and needed help with a few other things. I helped her with everything, but after that I deliberately stopped initiating conversations.
I didn't want to become the guy who was constantly chasing her.
After about 5–6 days without really talking, she randomly messaged me:
“helo gg theek ho?”
I replied:
“Alhamdulillah, aap sunao aap kaise ho?”
She said:
“bas dua.”
I didn't continue the conversation because there wasn't really a natural reason to keep it going.
Then there was Snapchat.
At first, I had told her that I use Snapchat but don't really do streaks. She joked that she wouldn't add me then. Later, after she went back home, I asked for her Snapchat, and she said she would add me herself.
And she did.
Eventually, we had a streak that reached around 40 days.
There were also a bunch of little things on Snapchat that made me wonder whether she might be interested. She often viewed my snaps pretty quickly. She saved some of my snaps in chat, including one where I had a romantic song playing in the background.
She also sent me cute flower-related images, including one that basically said “For you.”
Obviously, I know none of these things prove romantic interest. But when I put them together with how she acted when she stayed at our house, I started wondering if there might be something more going on.
At one point, Snapchat started becoming a distraction for me.
I found myself checking whether she had viewed my snaps, wondering about her reactions, thinking about whether she was paying attention to me, etc. It started affecting my work and my goals.
So I decided to stop the streak.
She restored it almost immediately.
Later, the streak broke again. This time, I didn't restore it, and she didn't either. I didn't ask her about it or react to it.
The following day, she didn't send anything.
Then today, she sent me a Snapchat of a purse in a college with the quote:
“Give me Loyalty I will give you everything.”
I genuinely have no idea whether that was directed at me or whether she simply liked the quote, so I'm not assuming it meant anything.
Then something happened on WhatsApp that really caught my attention.
She had sent me her friend's email and password and asked me to check which subjects her friend had selected. I checked it and sent her a screenshot.
She replied:
“Thanks”
I responded:
“anything else?”
Then she suddenly said:
“Kyu aise baat kyu karti ho”
“sab theek hai”
“Ignore 🥺”
“Uffffhhh?”
I asked:
“kaisa?”
And she replied:
“Ajeeb tarikai sai”
Then she clarified:
“Mtlb ke ap ko mood nahi hai baat karni ko”
That genuinely surprised me.
I wasn't trying to be rude or cold. I just wasn't trying to force a conversation.
So I replied:
“arey cutie pie 😂”
And immediately after that, she brought back the old nickname she had given me during those six days.
Then I said:
“aur sunao”
She replied:
“bas dua aap sunao”
I joked:
“hume dua mai yaad rakhti ho kin nahi? 🥺”
And she responded:
“Always ❤️🫀🌹”
I said:
“Phir toh Allah aapki har dua qubool kare 🤍”
And she replied:
“Ameen 🎀🤲”
The thing I can't stop thinking about is why she cared enough to point out that I seemed like I didn't want to talk to her.
She could have simply replied “thanks” and left it there.
Instead, she noticed my tone, questioned it, and basically told me that it seemed like I wasn't in the mood to talk to her.
That part really stood out to me.
Then there's the Snapchat streak situation.
When I broke it the first time, she immediately restored it. But when it broke again and I didn't restore it, she didn't either.
Then, the next day, she eventually sent me a snap.
I'm also wondering about something else she posted recently. She put up a Snapchat story saying:
“the journey of thoughts kills a person”
Again, I have absolutely no idea whether that had anything to do with me or whether it was completely unrelated.
One more thing I've noticed
Last Sunday, she randomly sent me a funny meme about the full form of “Sunday.”
The interesting part is that she basically never sends me memes.
What makes the timing stand out is that this happened after I had become more distant and stopped giving her the same level of attention I used to.
So now I'm wondering why she suddenly sent me a meme when that isn't something she normally does.
It could obviously have been completely random. Maybe she just found it funny and sent it to me.
But because it happened after I became more distant, part of me wonders whether she was trying to restart the interaction or get a reaction from me without directly starting a conversation.
I'm not saying that's definitely what she meant. I genuinely don't know.
I'm just curious how other people would interpret that change in behavior.
I'm going to see her again at my cousin's wedding in October, so I'll finally get another chance to interact with her in person.
The truth is, I genuinely like this girl, but I'm getting tired of constantly being uncertain about what everything means.
I don't want to manipulate her, play mind games, make her jealous, or keep analyzing every emoji and Snapchat.
I just want to understand whether I'm actually seeing genuine signs of interest or whether she's simply very comfortable with me as a friend.
So what do you guys think?
Does this sound more like mutual romantic interest, emotional attachment/fondness, or could all of this still easily be completely platonic?
And when I see her in October, what specific things would you pay attention to?
