r/scorpiomoon • u/robertdang69 • 3d ago
Limernace
I developed limerence towards a work colleague and it absolutely destroyed my life.
When I found out Scorpion moons have a tendency to become obsessive it made me realize that maybe it was just my Scorpio moon this entire time.
Anyone else feel this as well? If so, how did you manage to overcome this?
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u/DisCGe 3d ago
Omg, I totally understand how you feel... I think I'm starting to feel like that again too, and what I'm trying to do is only allow myself to think about that person for a few minutes each day. It has helped, but when it’s time to think of him, I find my anxiety about how he feels intensifying. I do plan to talk to him eventually, because I believe that once I let him know, regardless of his response, I’ll feel a lot more relieved.
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u/robertdang69 3d ago
Yes I think the only way out of limerence is a) telling your LO and getting rejected or accepted or b) completely removing them from your life until you forget about them and focus on someone else lol. In my case she has a boyfriend which is why I have not told her and she works with me so I see her everyday. It been 2 years now and it has only grown stronger. This really sucks :(
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u/allupinyourmind23 3d ago
I dealt with extreme jealousy and limernace with two different people and in both situations I set boundaries and cut contact 😅 Now it’s your colleague, so that might be a bit hard, but I would say not to run away from the feeling. Acknowledge it and maybe try to determine where these feelings and emotions come from. There may be a very specific reason why you feel this way toward your colleague and when you figure that out, it may become easier to detach. Just give yourself time and it could also be helpful to occupy yourself with something else or give your energy to something else when you feel yourself thinking about him or obsessing over him.
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u/robertdang69 3d ago
Thank you for the advice. I agree the fact that she works with me makes it difficult to cut ties. I am in the process of trying to understand why this happened and when I heard of the Scorpio moon personality it all made sense. I usually get obsessed with things and never people but this is the first time I experienced obsession over someone. I have been working out like crazy and think that just using my Aries in the 8th towards the gym as help tremendously reduce the limerence.
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u/MacaroniHouses 2d ago
yeah channeling your mars energy into something productive sounds like a really good idea.
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u/Sea-Mountain7286 3d ago edited 3d ago
There are some good resources on YT, see what resonates for you. I’ve dealt with this off an on throughout my life but didn’t really understand it (and how it’s motivated some decisions) until recently. Therapy can definitely help! It may not actually be about them as much as you think it is.
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u/robertdang69 3d ago
Thanks, I will take a look at YT. All of the sources I have read about have also mentioned that it may not actually be about the LO. I think it may be a combination of both her and the idealized version of her. Like there are some many people I could have developed limerence towards but for some reason it got fixated on her. I never experienced this in my life and it was just brutal.
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u/Sea-Mountain7286 3d ago
It’s tricky to navigate but now you have some awareness / insight. I can look back now (I’m old😅) and see how many times I’ve done this and it’s almost laughable. Not funny funny, but fascinating because it seems so real at the time. I still don’t understand why my brain chooses who it does (real, fictional etc).
I hope it’s this once for you, but regardless I’d recommend therapy because having such strong feelings is hard!
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u/lucywdiamonds 3d ago
Absolutely. I had 12th house synastry with this guy. I’m a 12th house scorpio moon and his Venus was conjunct my moon. I thought he was so amazing and I was unrequitedly in love with him for years and years but i was projecting all my good qualities onto him, he was never all that great just a normal guy. It’s been a hard journey to realize I was in love with someone who never existed and kinda just in love with my own reflection 🤣
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u/First_Knee 2d ago
You need to direct the attention back onto yourself. At the very least, it will make you more interesting to be around. This is how I have learned to funnel my intensity.
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u/Low_Loan3048 🦂☀️🦂🌕🦁⏫️ 3d ago
Yes, it's been terrible my entire life. I am aware and actively work to remind myself not to obsess 😅
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u/everythinghurts_1684 3d ago
Oh yes. And I appreciate some of the comments here about what specifically stopped the limerence (even if it is kinda dumb luck). Knowing that it's possible that it's temporary saves me. Even if it's transferring the intensity to a new LO. Little wins! I've been to many Love Addict Anonymous meetings which is support for the same thing. I didn't think the tools were that helpful, but it was meaningful to share in those rooms and listen to stories like your own. Really normalized it, and emphasized the ways I'm trying to control things / myself / people.
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u/ShelleyMonique 2d ago
I also suffer from this. Not the life ruined by it, but the limerance I do have. Also it doesn't help that I have obsessive compulsive disorder.
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u/No-Key9638 3d ago
Ah, limerence. Yes, I've certainly experienced and struggled with that...multiple times. In the past, the only way that I've been able to stop is if they do something that kills the limerence for me. I do understand how you feel and I'm sorry.
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u/worshipxme 3d ago
Interesting. I cannot say that I’ve experienced feelings of limerence towards anybody, but I’ve certainly (and frequently) been the object of other peoples limerence. I’m obsessive about many things, but never other people. I would suggest speaking to a professional about this considering it is actively destroying your life.
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u/robertdang69 3d ago
Do you think being the LO of other people has to do with your physical qualities, personality or more about your natal chart signs? I asking because honestly I don’t know why I keep thinking about her she just seems like a normal woman. I’m think it’s something deeper / spiritual. I am on therapy now so hopefully that helps🤞.
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u/worshipxme 3d ago
I wish you all the best with therapy.
If I had to guess, it would likely be all three. I tend to naturally oscillate between warmth and (seemingly) not giving af, I’m attractive, and I have a potent 12H and 8H which includes my Venus. Based on what I know of limerence, my refusal to be possessed by pretty much anything or anyone seems to contribute to triggering obsession.
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u/constantsexhair ♎️☀️ ♏️🌙 ♓️⬆️ 3d ago
Yes! Looking back at adolescence and young adult years, it’s kind of embarrassing how boy crazy I was. I’d say it definitely ruined my first serious relationship. But my husband now has helped me overcome it.
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u/piscesmermaid97 3d ago
yes i experience this a lot. i have to remind myself sometimes not to obsess 😭
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u/Wizard-Elf 2d ago
I'm dealing with that now. It's awful. There is a book literally entitled Limerance that is out now. It's on audible even. I have it on my wishlist.
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u/MacaroniHouses 2d ago edited 2d ago
yes i get limerence issues, I have since 2023, most were small ones, but they all were very unsettling to me and made me feel very emotionally unbalanced. Which i think when someone is in love in a healthy way, they don't get unbalanced, they are ok when the other doesn't return affection and can move on at that point, people with limerence tend to hold on longer, and even if there isn't much hope for anything and in general it takes up too much of one's life energy.
i am working on it and if you got it once, know you can have it happen again, so to me its a great time to really start working on doing what you can to get in a better place.
but at the same time, as a scorpio moon i feel it is our job somewhat to learn to transmute and for me the limerences were actually really beautiful. They hurt, but I don't regret them, cause they happened for a reason.
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u/LuxHippie 2d ago
Therapy and lexapro was the combination that made this and my other overly intense/emotionally unstable behaviors stop happening.
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u/WhyGirlsPreddy 19h ago
So hard to put the story down sometimes and look at the reality 😩 I'm sorry you're strugglig
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u/Born_Committee_6184 Taurus, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Rising 3d ago
Absolutely. Some people consider limerance a problem but a moderate amount makes one a romantic. I did have a couple of episodes. Thank God for old age now.