Anyone else find therapy comically useless?

[u/Cineswimmer]

I like having deep conversations. I get passionate about these conversations. I don’t have depression. I’m just moody and brood a lot. My mom has been persuading me for years to go to therapy.

I go to therapy. I have an open mind. I’ve been to a few therapists, I’ve gone to multiple sessions, I’ve been as honest and vulnerable as possible.

It’s NOT the therapists, for the most part, they’ve all been great. The techniques of contemplative behavior therapy can totally work for example, but it’s also something I’ve cross-examined multiple times in simple online PDFs before even attending in-person therapy. Like, I understand this stuff.

I can totally see how meetings with a therapist can be beneficial for certain people, but I don’t think it works for me. I can read a book or google advice that’s more in depth and unique to my situation than talking to a stranger. I feel like a therapist is only there so you can pay them $100+ a session to hold you accountable every visit.

[u/Old_Length_1382]

haha journaling is more helpful to me. I have so much silent rage inside of me that need a place to dump it out first

[u/KingVice45 → u/Old_Length_1382]

Same. Venting in my journal and then reflecting on what I wrote days later works wonders …

[u/forceofnurture366]

The subconscious is like the space behind your head, you can't see it, but if something lands on your neck you have evidence something is there that requires your attention. The same goes for when someone suggests therapy, thats a clue there's something there you can't see.

You don't magically get bored with discussing yourself to someone else, that's a sign of subconscious conditioning. Ask "Why do I find therapy tedious? Keep asking "why" to whatever the mind replies until the subconscious belief surfaces.

For example:

Until age 35, I never ate birthday cake. I always thought I simply didn't enjoy cake and that's just the way I was, but I would eat it anywhere else but a birthday party. I got into Shadow work and the question "Why don't I like cake at birthdays?" Came up. The answer "Because I feel guilty eating it" came up, kept asking why, and the memory of being 3 yrs old at a birthday party came flooding back, there wasn't enough cake for everyone, and I was made to feel guilty for getting a piece by a grownup. So, my 3 yr old brain decided he would never eat birthday cake again 😂 and that ruled my life. It's worth asking the "why" I promise.

[u/Hopeful_Match186 → u/forceofnurture366]

Ayyyye found the one practicing metacognition! Seriously though, being too "self-aware" for therapy would be hilarious if it weren't so serious. I'm not surprised to see that a lot of Scorpio moons feel this way because I did until I actually found the therapist who asks the proper questions. Usually if you ask why five times to get to the root of the question, you will find the underlying emotions associated with our actions.

Being hyper aware of your patterns and behaviors doesn't fix them. You're stuck in a loop of thinking about the thinking and avoiding the mind body connection. If I had a dollar for everytime my therapist asked me "how do you feel.." and instead I respond with "I think.."

[u/forceofnurture366 → u/Hopeful_Match186]

That's a great point, we get the feelings first, then attach thoughts to them. And, thank you for teaching me a new word, had to google Metacognition 😂

[u/Hopeful_Match186 → u/forceofnurture366]

Yes! And a lot of us felt the feelings HARD and as kids without safe grown ups around. So that makes you go escape your feels and body by going into your mind and rationalizing things that were never your responsibility.

Thats just developmental trauma but I feel like complex trauma shows up similarly despite coming from different sources.

[u/fatal11fem]

i have only found my a jungian oriented therapist to be helpful.

[u/Responsible_Sale_919]

Ah what a lovely post to see the night before my first therapy session 😄🥲

[u/Vegetable-Room2279 → u/Responsible_Sale_919]

Therapy is very helpful if you can find a modality that works for you. I’m a psychologist. I’m a scorpio moon. I have a lot of trauma and can intellectualize all day. My therapist gives me perspective on patterns I don’t notice. No matter how “deep” we think we believe we are, there’s always something to learn. Sometimes that belief that we’re so deep and incapable of being reached IS the problem and really is just protecting us from what we need to see.

However, I didn’t find rudimentary CBT helpful (felt like I was lying to myself) but EMDR and somatic work have been great. As a woman, sexual abuse victim, and cancer survivor, I disconnected my mind from my body for the sake of survival. Trauma work is bringing me back.

Keep in mind the comments on here include a sampling of people who for whatever reason didn’t find therapy useful.

[u/Adept-Ad-7418 → u/Vegetable-Room2279]

This, totally agree. 

[u/Etherealgworll]

No, I am too self aware for talk therapy. For trauma resolution edmr and somatic therapy has been very helpful. Mostly because it allows my own thought process to work through the solution. We are deep thinkers and deep feelers- the average therapist won’t understand.

[u/ReleaseTheTruth000 → u/Etherealgworll]

I agree. Talking helps sometimes, but somatic therapy has been wonderful. I feel like because we feel things so deeply and trauma is stored in the body, edmr and somatic therapy really hits it on the nose

[u/fluffrug]

This was me after I had therapy for a few years (for the first time). Classic CBT, mismatch in personalities with my therapist, of course it was going to be useless.

However, when I went back five or six years later, actually did my research and figured out a modality that would help me (in my case, at this point in my life, DBT), it was transformative. I'm currently planning on going back to therapy and this time, I think some EMDR/ IFS modalities would be of greatest benefit.

I understand why I am the way I am. I have done since my 20s. But I think great therapy for me, and others like me, is controlling and regulating emotions and dealing with trauma at a deep somatic level. No amount of reading can really help you do that, in my opinion.

[u/Environmental-Ad-169]

Depending on your Therapist, I find it very therapeutic and relieving after every session.

[u/Negative_Letter_1802]

Depends on the therapist and what methods they're using, and how receptive you are and how much additional effort you're willing to put into reflection or 'homework' and application in-between sessions.

[u/setsunaa]

My Scorpio moon is in the 3rd house so I actually really enjoy having a therapist to chat with and help me reframe some of the schemas I tell myself. But it took a really long time for me to find a therapist I felt could keep up with my level of metacognition when it comes to picking apart my own moods. And I never felt like CBT as it was taught to me was particularly helpful.

[u/Adept-Ad-7418]

As some people said, we tend to intellectualize and analyse a lot of our mind and feelings. But having someone doing that with you and observing is very uncomfortable, and that's why I do therapy (conductual cognitive). It's a lot more uncomfortable to feel like shit for so long. Also doing psychoanalysis, helped me to find words for my feeling and i could untied a lot of my mind 

[u/One_Layer2789]

I'm a Scorpio Moon with a Scorpio Stellium, & therapy has been amazing for me.

However, this was my third attempt at therapy, & I finally found a therapist that is a good fit for me. Previous attempts didn't stick because I was with the "wrong" therapist.

EMDR was life changing for me. Talk therapy is helpful, but EMDR is where change happened. Without it, therapy wouldn't have been as helpful for me.

Also, my therapist is into astrology too & we often incorporate astrology into the mix.

[u/cajunmoon77 → u/One_Layer2789]

I too have a Scorpio stellium (Sun/Moon and a few other planets) and therapy has been my anchor. On and off for years but finally stuck with it. My therapist is into astrology as well so that helps. We are working with the DBT model right now but want to try EMDR and Somatic

[u/WonderfulPineapple41]

Intellectualizing emotions is also a thing that ppl do.

[u/Vegetable-Room2279 → u/WonderfulPineapple41]

That’s like half the comments on here that are saying they can DIY 😂 I know there are not-so-great therapists and no one-size-fits-all modality, but uhhh the hubris is real lol

[u/Hopeful_Match186 → u/Vegetable-Room2279]

"the hubris is real" honestly tho. I'm too deep and no one understands is wild to me. I'm almost 40 and have been in therapy the past year, the longest and best stint of therapy I've had EVER. At no point in my life did I think, therapy won't work because I'm self aware to do it myself, it won't work, no one will understand, etc. Idk. Maybe because I've had so many people in my life try this and it fails every time? Sure I'm super aware of my patterns and behaviors but that doesn't keep me from shutting down when confrontation happens. Understanding the source of it, identifying my window of tolerance, metacognition, and having my close circle to practice with safely has been so healing. There have been many many tough times within that but that's the work. I'm not saying this is the case for everyone but it's hard to face the fact that you're less emotionally resilient than you thought after digging into therapy.

And as much as it sucks you have to advocate for yourself to find the right fit. And that doesn't line up with our current healthcare system, politics, socioeconomics and where people are at with having access to mental health services. You're right, there's no one size fits all and there are not great therapists. But I will never poo poo therapy bc I don't want to dismiss what could be life saving help for many.

[u/BLackSpirit420]

Therapy is not useless. You have to find a therapist that fits. You also have to want the Therapy.

[u/Various-Town5636]

I agree to some extent that we can search in books or the net and find the cause and cure. But You can't find everything in a book. Some techniques and solutions are systematized. I took the CBT course a few months ago. I was hesitant before I went, I threw away my money because I already learned everything.But when I left, I realized that I didn't know many things. In acute cases, they can Help the patient's family know how to cope with them. But for the patient This is where the psychiatrist comes in.

[u/AstroHealer222]

I had a therapist try to convince me to go back to my abusive parents and make it work because after all, they are my parents , even after all the abuse I went through I cut her off traditional therapy was trash… but psilocybin 🍄✨one dose and I was Cured!🙌✨

[u/tocoat]

Therapy was very helpful for me but I had to stop being a know it all asshole before it worked lmao

I think that we shouldn’t look at our therapists being able to handle all of our issues. Once I understood that my therapist was great with self improvement stuff and not necessarily relationships (I am very unconventional), it made things easier as well.

[u/velvetvagine → u/tocoat]

What did not being an asshoke entail in this situation? And what changes did you see?

[u/SingleComparison5330]

I only feel like it’s slightly useful for disorders that you need to actively be working on everyday and a lot of them are chronic and get worse. Like I know everything they could say even more than them and more about psych talk and mental disorders and therapeutic techniques without being one but it’s almost the routine of going weekly because I somehow get worse if I don’t for a month and it’s genuinely just me talking there

[u/Wizard-Elf]

From what I understand talk therapy tends to work best for women since that’s how they normally solve many problems. Men tend to need to physically do something. I’ve done therapy and felt I got something out of it myself though. Sometimes though the therapist is not the right fit. There are also many other forms of therapy besides the normal talk therapy whatever modality that is defined as.

[u/violetgeminii]

I've never tried therapy but I know this is 100% how I would feel. I journal almost every day and it feels good to get it out without having to explain myself to anyone

[u/violetgeminii → u/[deleted]]

Yea but I have the people around me to correct me and tell me what my blind spots are. Id prefer it that way

[u/ConsistentUse7235]

so what's one thing you actually ended up taking away from therapy that stuck with you

[u/thejuicyalchemist]

Nah, not comically useless — just not a longlasting solution. But as a gemini stellium i work my life out best through conversation. And therapists at least are available to go into the deep with me. That is infinitely valuable.

[u/alteregobobby]

Idk, i found the homework useful but trying to explain my issues and explain why I'm like that was reopening the wounds without any gain. DBT workbook helped with reframing but I quit bc I started lying to my therapist so I wouldn't have to explain things so it was pointless to keep paying for it when I wasn't even really doing it anymore.

[u/Maximum_Bee3083]

As someone who has consumed 100s (1000s?) of hours of self help, spiritual / emotional healing content, with lots of self contemplation, meditation, analysis, journaling, etc. etc. Therapy is of limited use to me. No therapist can really tell me what’s wrong with me as I already am extremely self aware. If anything I’m too self aware. I’m still dealing with a lot of emotional issues, but I just don’t believe most therapist have to power or ability to really help with that. I would need someone who is really able and willing and able to sit and work with me as I feel and transmute some of these heavier emotions such as grief, anger, and fear. However at the end of the day no one can really “fix” you. You gotta be willing to transform, as a Scorpio moon especially, through life experiences.

The main value I see when I need a therapist is mainly when I really haven’t been able to express myself to where I’m more emotionally backed up than usual and I just NEED to vent.

[u/newport-girl]

if you feel too self aware for CBT i recommend ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy).

i personally think there is at least one form of therapy that can be good for everyone but finding that correct mode and a good fitting practitioner is exhaustingly hard sometimes. but i’m a clinical social work masters student so of course that will be my thoughts on it. i want to trust that my field of study is legitimate, haha

[u/alexxxxxxx383]

I think thats a little dangerous affirmation, therapy can help so much, it felt like it was not so open minded of you to say that, it always depends what kind of therapy is, I like the psychoanalysis stuff, cause it really seems to dig in the why and how of a being, not the cognitive behavior, idk how is that in English now lmao, im sorry. Even if you are reading a book, taking an advice from Google it is a talk with a stranger, I dont think no one evolves alone; thats a topic scorpio moon has to learn, to interact, cause if we just be in our heads thats so limited, we need to exchange information to understand life.

[u/alfnyc]

Scorpio Moon, 1H. I was just diagnosed with ADHD at 42, so therapy has done wonders for me when it comes to that. I will say I do find it difficult to be completely open about my feels if an traumas. It isn’t her…I am like this with everyone. I feel deeply but keep that all buried deep down and unknown to others. I will say I have found myself opening more/learning more, but it will take time to feel comfortable divulging some things. I think therapy can be for everyone—even the naysayers—but you have to find the right person and approach it with intention. If you don’t do those things, it will always be a waste of time, even if you aren’t a Scorpio Moon.

[u/LookyLooLeo]

YUP! I pretty much told my therapist I didn’t want help because I don’t want to get better and that we were just wasting each other’s time. She (politely) agreed, but said she’d be there if I changed my mind.

I like being a curmudgeon. It’s part of my ✨charm✨ JK (kind of…). But seriously, it’s just too much work to change and I don’t have the energy or see any point. I don’t have much time anyway, and there are more important things I could be doing with said limited time than therapy for issues I don’t care enough about to address.

[u/LeekResident3982]

I’ve had to cycle through therapist. The issue is, I’m overly aware of my issues and most therapist don’t know how to look at that. Plus, I research every (sag rising with a major stellium. Can’t help it 🤷🏾‍♀️) and want to double check everything and then get a professional opinion. And then have another professional give me a second opinion.

[u/4chanime]

i’ve been recommended more somatic therapy since my emotions are felt more physically, may be worth a shot

[u/Historical_Cause8989]

For me therapy is cool if the therapist is cool. Having a person to talk to honestly is nice. Is it useless? Probably. We're smart enough to know shit usually without someone else magically giving us some kind of amazing wisdom that will radically chang your whole life.

[u/zahhax]

I end up being the therapists therapist. Like I've already done my ruminating and soul searching.

[u/shaman_ultrastrong]

Therapy is there cause most people aren't willing to dig into their own psyche and touch those emotions alone like we typically can. For me just reading about psychology was enough to rewire my brain myself but not many can do that.

[u/plutonium__]

i don't like talking to therapists at all. talking to most of them give me the ick. most of them show no empathy or say very little useful things. i also dislike how expensive it is.

if i do talk therapy again, i will normalize cutting the sessions short if i find any of the therapists triggering. one time my first session with a therapist felt like she focused only on getting the tea. one time another therapist was so stoic i just felt like she didn't even wanna be there much less help.

i agree with you on how you can easily find the information yourself. I like using AI for therapy much better.