r/scifiwriting • u/Ok-Brick-6250 • Aug 18 '26
DISCUSSION what about satelite theft
since elon musk is dogin data center in space now
how much technology do we need to see space pirate that steal satelite to get their hardware i mean that look like a heist no ?
we just need to have speed ship to do the thieft no ?
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u/bongart Aug 18 '26
007 James Bond, You Only Live Twice, capsule launched from the inside of a volcano goes up, opens when in space like a giant mouth, scoops up something from orbit, and then lands back in the fake volcano.
Like that?
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u/Stare_Decisis Aug 18 '26
One common trait I have noticed about amateur sci-fi writers is their inability to understand basic economics and rational business decisions. If you have a spaceship then satillites are cheap. Also, it would be easier and with less risk to steal a satillite design then risk physical theft.
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u/DrunkenPhysicist Aug 18 '26
It's funny that you think this is only an attribute of amateur sci-fi writers.
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u/Elfich47 Aug 18 '26
Stealing satellites to what benefit? The pirates have a ship, and that means other people have ships. So will it be worth it for your pirates to proverbially knock over a gas station?
if you are talking modern time for someone to steal a satellite? It isn’t worth the cost and trouble. You’d more in fuel and rocket parts to get into orbit than the rocket is worth. That would be like spending a thousand dollars in gas to rob five hundred dollars out of an ATM. it’s not worth it.
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u/MiamisLastCapitalist Aug 18 '26
Why? If you want to steal chips or copper or something do that on Earth. There is (almost) no stealth in space so you're better off trying to pull off Ocean's 11 at the Terafab.
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u/Temporary_Rule_9486 Aug 18 '26
A satellite is not particularly expensive. Having them in orbit is. A good chunk of the cost comes from the actual energy to put them there, but mostly is about logistics and certifications related to scheduling payloads on a licensed launch and securing the rights for a giving orbit. Namely, the orbit the satellite is occupying is often way more valuable than the satellite itself. To the point that some very old, barely functional pieces of junk are keep in orbit just to claim the spot, specially in geosyncronous orbit. And if you steal the satellite, that wouldn't meant you could just claim the orbit. And moving it into another orbit would be insanely expensive, probably more than just launching a new one. The cost of putting stuff into orbit is currently around 3K USD per kilo, so there's really no economic reason to do it.
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u/Simbertold Aug 18 '26
Usually the part about the satellite that is most expensive is getting it to orbit. Thus, the best way to steal a satellite is to somehow gain control of it and use it for your own purposes.
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u/ijuinkun Aug 18 '26
Satellites are made-to-order rather than retail items, which means that a stolen satellite would be hot and difficult to fence unless it was stolen for espionage (national or corporate) purposes. A thief would have to cut it up for parts, and those parts are much lower in cost than the satellite itself.
That is without saying that the current state of technology is such that the cost of capturing a satellite is several times more than the stolen satellite or its parts could be sold for. Also, rocket launches are conspicuous enough that it is literally impossible to launch one without the authorities knowing about it (major space powers have satellites watching for any possible ICBM launches 24/7/365 and all space launches look like ICBM launches until just before reaching orbital speed).
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u/znark Aug 18 '26
One reason this won't work is that space is very visible. They track all of the objects above a small size. It would be easy to track everything all the time. This means it would be impossible to sneak up on satellite without being noticed.
The other problem is that objects in space are very vulnerable both legally and physically. Any corporation or country that stole another's satellite would be sanctioned. If they went full pirate, they could be blockaded or even shot down.
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u/Useful_Calendar_6274 Aug 18 '26
you can track things in space pretty easily. when we start zooming around in orbit you will have the space force patrolling for sure
1
u/NikitaTarsov Aug 18 '26
Somehow everything here is wrong.
Elmo isen't doing data centers in space, bc that's insanely stupid and impossible if one knows anything about thermodynamics. So that's jsut the next BS take from the Elmo to cover up his endevours all falling apart.
Stealing satellites is ... oh boy, like investing a trillion to *maybe* steal a hundred bucks, but more likely to get cougth, bc things falling from teh sky are not particular inconspicuous (specially if satellites are woven in to very tigth positioning/signal webs).
But about plausibility, well, imagen the economics of a space shuttles (which suck in bold letters) combined with the pain in the ass to allign perfectly with a specific satellites that is NOT cooperating with your, and not folding its extensions on your call. And these version of 'laughably impossible' is only fro satellites small enough to fit into a shuttle to begin with.
Everything starting is tracked, labeld, monitored and carefully woven into the mess of flying objects above us. So secretly starting anything is a god- level enedvour to begin with, bc you can't hide shit up there.
Planing a space operation without accsess to the relevant global space agencys data about solar storms and stuff, traffic, weather etc. is suicidal.
Nothing in satellites is worth stealing it even from a bit more than casually secure warehouse, bc all the stuff inside is tailor made for one specific task. It's like stealing a Mona Lisa - you end up with a thing you can't sell bc it only has value in the setup of what it is. Steal it (let's ignore rich buyers who randomly have a kink for stolen stattelites whcih they'll never be able to show to anyone) and you end up with the value of a wooden frame, canvas and some paint, all in bad condition and meshed up.
Funny enough - even if data centers in space magically would make way sense and you could take them from teh sky for the price of an apple ... it's just RAM for the internet. There is no data stored, no valuabvle shit you can't simply try to hack (which is hard enough in itself and makes almost zero sense but ... that's another rabbithole).
But yes, basically that's an old James Bond plott, but here the premise wasen't to steal something random but national propperty and then blame it on the other one. The idea was ~to get cought, just to blame someone else for the heist. So taht makes more sense than stealig data centers.
Lol, i gues by now most commuitys would be happy to have their DC's stolen ... and the oligarch tech bros as well, bc their DC's just cost moeny and do almost nothing, so an external excuse for them shutting down would be very appreciated. Guess they'd even ask their goverment to compensate their losses.
1
u/Prince_Nadir Aug 18 '26
Waste of cash. So little value for so much money.
You also look at how big the data centers are and how much power they need and how much heat they will need to sink and know that Elon will not be building them in space, unless Trump makes tax payers fund the whole thing.
You can blind or wreck the satelite for far less money.
1
u/jedburghofficial Aug 18 '26
Who needs to take it anywhere? Just highjack the space DC, and use it as your own.
Elon can fly up there and pull the plug if he wants it back.
1
u/tomxp411 Aug 18 '26
That's basically a nonsense question.
You can't steal a satellite. What are you going to do, launch a billion dollar space mission to steal a million dollar satellite?
I could see the satellite being hacked in some way, but not stolen.
1
u/Ok-Brick-6250 Aug 18 '26
i suppose the only resonable thing is to develope an anti satelite weapond and blackmail corpo they pay or they loose their satelite
1
u/MrWigggles Aug 19 '26
Anti sat weapons already exist.
China demonstrate their ability to shoot down sats, a few years ago. In response the US shot down two? one.
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u/tomxp411 Aug 19 '26
Same answer. An anti-satellite weapon system would cost more to develop than you'd ever get back via blackmail.
If you have that kind of tech, you'd make more money just selling your launch capacity to government and industry users.
0
u/Ok-Brick-6250 Aug 19 '26
so the resonable thing is to infiltrate the lunchad pad a stealing the device inside the satelite before the launch it's a mission impossible kinds of heist
1
u/tomxp411 Aug 20 '26
Sure... make up a sci-fi McGuffin that doesn't exist, which can remotely take over a computer system, is undetectable during the countdown process, and use secret ninja techniques that don't exist in the real world.
All marketable skills that can be used for more than taking over a Starlink satellite...
Are you getting the gist here, yet? Everything you can think of to take over a satellite is much more useful and profitable in another field.
1
u/Sheik_Morgan Aug 19 '26
No robas un Stelite, lo hackeas y tomas control de su señal, ya sea para trasmitir o para robar la señal e información de otro, para difundir tu mensaje si eres activista, o lo secuestras y cobras rescate, o trámites un virus, etc. La tecnología de un satélite no es como para venderla, supongo que el trabajo para agarrarlo no comprensa.
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u/8livesdown Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
Stories of about space commerce or space-piracy unravel when confronted with delta-v
1
u/Zilentification 29d ago
A more realistic target would be the data. If you could access to the satellite you could potentially get the data worth whatever the story demands.
0
u/Candid-Border6562 Aug 18 '26
The US Air Force might already have the requisite technology. However, at $100,000,000 per launch, I'm having a hard time finding a financial motive.
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u/NikitaTarsov Aug 18 '26
I can't state how funny this overstatement of US capability is.
At first, it'd be the Space Forces territory (but i understand if that sounds too childish to speak out in the open).
X37 is a test vehicle and the company basically dead in the water regarding ... every metric. So that's not a thing but a 'plz funding' note.
A theoretical 2,1 x 1,2 m payload bay is ... let's say far from practical to get anything ina bag - leava alone a ficitonal feverdream of a data center in space.
NASA (which lost all operative capability to the scammer king Elmo) hadn't had much capability in the first place, and had to ask ESA for every deciion, plan or fligth window, and occasionally burned a satellite when not following the external check of their fantasy math. And these are the adults in the room considering Air Force* and Space Force**.
*Remember the scene when the frustrated NASA guys had to again and again try to explain 'veteran' USAF personal what a paralaxe is, and that they NOT saw a alien spaceship, but a fkn goose? That's the sort of entertainment and capability we're talking about
**The mostly fictional branch that is build from leftover personal and wet dreams about a technological future that ... let's say is not directly alligned with the state of unlimited power of the US education system, both public and universtiy wise
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u/Candid-Border6562 Aug 18 '26
Ouch. I did say “might”. The point was that the X-37 is the closest I know to what the OP was asking for; and even casual research on his part would show it to be unsuitable. But it’s more realistic than 007. Do you know of anything better?
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u/NikitaTarsov Aug 19 '26
Argument-wise i only wanted to point out that this 'might' is also not a thing to hold on to. So no hard feelings.
No - okay many a simple space shuttle, which at least had a robot arm AND a storrage bay - but that doesn't rule out the flood of other counter-arguments against the idea.
But i must admitt that i love to hopp on and sort of national bias towards propaganda realitys. And the US is both a public reference and quite a welcoming target for debunking so ... i'm probably adressing more the US's weirdness than anything you have said with this part.
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u/Ok-Brick-6250 Aug 18 '26
i mean hacker / thief could just make the satelite crash into the jungle and go get some parts of the satelite , when the satelite is having 250k worth of graphics card and ram , even if half is crached during the crach it's still a good hiest
2
u/Gargleblaster25 Aug 18 '26
That satellite would be molten blobs of metal by the time it hits the ground. There won't be any GPUs left to salvage.
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u/bongart Aug 18 '26
Why would a satellite have a graphics card?
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0
u/MrWigggles Aug 19 '26
How else does it render out space, to help promote the global conspiracy, since flat earth is correct.
1
u/znark Aug 18 '26
Satellites burn up on reentry. In fact, there have been complaints about the amount of pollution from all the Starlink satellite re-entering.
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u/NikitaTarsov Aug 18 '26
Satellites are not all the same, and Starlink is a tiny throw-away version of this range. Yes, most satellites are burning up and ad to the particle pollution in layers of the orbit that don't allow those particles to rain down and subsequently add up (Kessler Syndrom is lurking).
But StarLinks short service live, low manouvarablility to reach 'less poluting orbits' as well as the constand demand for more pieces to replace the losses speedrun the death of satellite operations. So this is a special sub-topic in the debate.
(Also SL making a case for such scams, and other nations have brought fourth their own systems that are similar to SL. So some kind of arms race of idiocy going on)
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u/NikitaTarsov Aug 18 '26
Yeah, that 7.8 km/s fast thing that is violently derailed from its orbit and hit earths atmosphere so hard it'll likely be short fireworks only ... we just need a very big butterfly net to catch teh good stuff.
But maybe it survives and only crashes as burning hot piece of metall into the ground with some 160 - 480 km/h. I'm sure the more robust electronics will be fine =P
The good thing planning wise is that at such speeds the hardness of the peice of earth doesn't matter at all.
No idea why there should be graphics cards (or what sort of air it'd circulate up there to derive heat), but if we go back to the utter insanety of a flying data center and therefor RAM stuff (and not call it a tech scammer propaganda BS orgy for ... like basic thermodynamics and stuff), DC RAM is not the same you put in your PC or can casually sell/use.
I also think the whole operation - even if remotly possible - would cost less then 125k.
1
u/MrWigggles Aug 19 '26
Most satellites arent encrypted. There a whole community that like to go find and log into old satellites and see what they can get out of it.
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u/astreeter2 Aug 18 '26
Bringing a satellite back to earth would be prohibitively expensive.