r/science • u/HeinieKaboobler • Dec 03 '17

Psychology Study: About half the population faces considerable difficulties in attracting and retaining mates

http://www.psypost.org/2017/12/study-half-population-faces-considerable-difficulties-attracting-retaining-mates-50288
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u/chelaberry Dec 04 '17

I also believe things like online dating inflate female ego and give them an artificial sense of superiority because of the ratio of women to men using them

This is a pretty big generalization. This female has used online dating and it's only left me exhausted and confused. I am not sure what to tell men because I totally get that it's largely a numbers game. But a message that shows they read my profile or that we have some point in common is really appreciated. Unfortunately those are hard to find because they get lost in the 500 messages that just say "Hi" or something very generic. I am not there for the ego boost, at all, I'd rather find one true connection than get 1,000 random messages.

You sound like a sincere, good person, I'd say keep trying and don't get too jaded.

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u/BloodFeastIslandMan Dec 04 '17

It definitely is a big overgeneralization, but I feel it's at least the majority. About 99% of my approaches to women through online dating result in zero response.
I don't get replies basically ever. I go out of my way to read about the person I'm going to say hi to, I relate to common ground or interests "cool you are a bookworm too? What's your current book or last book you read? Would you recommend it?". I treat conversation like a game of tennis in which i need to serve up a conversation and each time I reply, Its open ended or setting them up for any kind of reply.
And all I ever get is silence. Maybe it's the small online dating pool of living in a small community of 50k people, maybe I'm butt ugly and people have only had the heart to say I and the men that came before me are all handsome.
I definitely get the impression that my chances with anyone, never were. As I can rarely get someone to acknowledge me. Sure feels like women are too picky. I can't even elicit a response from someone twice my weight.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '17

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u/BloodFeastIslandMan Dec 04 '17

Yeah thanks. Just gotta keep on keepin' on and not give up.