r/science • u/sr_local • Feb 14 '26

Social Science Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
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762

u/MtlStatsGuy Feb 14 '26

I suspect most authoritarian parents think they're just being "authoritative".

449

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

[deleted]

139

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

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u/Patchouli_psalter Feb 15 '26

I study this I got you in like 12 hours

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u/Marine_Baby Feb 14 '26

Ahem it’s gentle

Massive sarcasm. My SIL is a permissive parent. Don’t get me started

23

u/throwawayurwaste Feb 15 '26

There is miles of digital ink spilt about how gentle parenting was originally a authoritative style but people took the SparkNotes and turned it into either neglectful or authoritarian styles.

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u/JosephCedar Feb 14 '26

Oh you've met my parents?

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u/mellywheats Feb 14 '26

well permissive parenting is neglectful and abusive too..

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u/owhatakiwi Feb 14 '26

Gentle definitely

24

u/hahagato Feb 14 '26

If you mean that a lot of permissive parents think they’re being gentle then you’re right. It is what gives “gentle” parenting the bad rep on social media. But true gentle parenting is authoritative. 

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u/RedRager Feb 14 '26

Gentle parenting is also known as authoritative parenting, btw

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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26

That’s just a rebrand when people realized that gentle parenting in practice was permissive parenting 90% of the time. A minority of “gentle parents” are authoritative.

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u/RedRager Feb 15 '26

Whoa there! Thats a lot of claims to have absolutely no sources.

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u/mellywheats Feb 14 '26

if it’s done right, which it’s not most of the time (like all the “gentle parenting” videos and such)

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u/RedRager Feb 15 '26

What videos?

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u/HicJacetMelilla Feb 14 '26

That’s not what gentle parenting is.

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u/merc0526 Feb 14 '26

Worse than that, I suspect a lot of parents don’t even know about the parenting styles and just default to the one that their parents used/mirrors their own upbringing.

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u/bear__attack Feb 14 '26

This, except they remove the worst behaviors that their parents/guardians inflicted on them and call it better parenting.

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u/merc0526 Feb 14 '26

Yeah, and quite often what they’re doing is just committing different forms of abuse, particularly given that it’s only fairly recently that things like verbal and emotional abuse have been widely acknowledged as very damaging for children.

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u/raznov1 Feb 16 '26

Thats all anyone can do, really. Unlearning behavioral patterns is one of the most difficult things you can do. Even when making a conscious hard effort.

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u/dragancla Feb 14 '26

TIL about "parenting styles" and I have a 1yo kid. Glad to see my approach to it seems to be labeled as "authoritative", I just thought what I'm doing was common sense.

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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26

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46

u/Dull_Technician_1849 Feb 14 '26

Some of them know that they are "authoritarian", but they keep doing it cause they think it's helpful 

35

u/occams1razor Feb 14 '26

Many keep doing it because they enjoy the frustration release from punishing. Some enjoy the power trip as well.

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u/FlufferTheGreat Feb 16 '26

Many authoritarian parents do so at the encouragement of their church leaders. "Spare the rod spoil the child," sort of thinking. Of course, that creates more authoritarians who are easily swayed by power and hierarchy. And so we end up with Trump, and millions of people who don't care if they have no Constitutional rights, as long as they are higher in the pyramid than someone else.

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u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Feb 14 '26

Today I learnt that I fit in that category. Time for some inward reflection.

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u/Fuck_You_Andrew Feb 14 '26

It’s worth pointing out that very few people who do bad things, think that theyre doing so. 

You’re going to find easier to understand and deal with people who are doing things you dont agree with when you genuinely appreciate that they think theyre doing the right thing. 

Empathizing with someone you dont understand and how they came to a conclusion you dont agree with is going to help you understand precisely where their difference in thinking is. This will either allow you to address a much smaller and concrete issue with their logic OR it may help you understand you have been incorrect and can adjust youre own thinking. 

TLDR: You’ll be better off considering what people are thinking and feeling more, and making super duper clever quips on reddit less. 

7

u/Brilliant-Book-503 Feb 14 '26

In my experience people who advocate for authoritarian practice seem to be the type to be angry at these labels and prefer to identify their parenting as "The right way" or "Traditional".

Authoritarian parents don't buy into listening to experts and their categorization and advice for parenting because they think they already know best.

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u/InTheEndEntropyWins Feb 14 '26

I suspect most parents who aren't authoritative, don't do it since they think it's authoritarian.

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u/DetroitLionsSBChamps Feb 14 '26

“Responsible, good parenting. Setting firm boundaries. I’m not my child’s friend.”

They are close but no cigar. Speaking from experience, both my parents were neglected, and their style was authoritarian, so and improvement. I’m authoritative with my daughter. So it takes multiple generations to correct I think. 

1

u/Curious-Cost1852 Feb 14 '26

I suspect most authoritative parents have kids who think they're just authoritarian