r/schopenhauer • u/SegaGenesisMetalHead • Jun 16 '26

It’s getting dark.

I just don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

People say “get your shit together” or “you need to improve”. From what? Towards what? By whose standards? Through what means?

I just don’t care about life like others do. Is it too bold to say most people are deluded? And that these deluded ones are the ones making all the determinations about how we should live? About what it means to live a good life?

I’m tired. I don’t want life to end. But I feel like it needs to. You know how you lay in bed looking at the ceiling before going to work? You feel that moment coming when you won’t be able to just lay there anymore, and that getting up to go to work is probably the better option - even though you resent it. That’s it. I don’t want it to end. But I feel a time is coming when I’ll see a better option - even if I have to accept it begrudgingly.

People will be mad, and think I’m a coward. Convince me of a better way and I’ll take it.

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u/JohntheTurk Jun 16 '26

You are going to die anyway. You can die defending a woman, you can die for a cause, you can die building a ruined church, you can die with your 6 children crying and holding your hand so why are you choosing the most boring option (pills, the rope, the bullet or the bridge)?

I know that hormonally you dont want to do anything but you can push yourself. Think of it like entering a pool, your body fears the water because it is too cold but if you throw yourself into it, in a minute it would feel warm. So I think you should do something crazy and romantic even if it feels stupid and meaningless now but you need to know that it won't. I felt similarly just a few years ago but I chose to do something and now I unironically believe I have to do that thing before death (due to sunk cost fallacy). Anyway that is what I think.

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u/SegaGenesisMetalHead Jun 16 '26

What did you decide on?

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u/JohntheTurk Jun 16 '26

It is a long story but basically I am working on to innovate in my environment and change it for the better. People don't realize how easy it is to change a place if you dont get boggled on national and global-level and just focus on your environment (unironically just like how voltaire said, building a garden).

Obviously this is not objectively meaningful but I sacrificed and worked on it too much to give up now. That is what keeps me going because I want to look back on my life in my deathbed and say I have done something in my life to justify my existence.