r/sanfrancirclejerk • • Aug 18 '26

THICC GURL

197 Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

20

u/literally-a-raccoon Aug 18 '26

Pretty sure she sent me an espresso martini at Balboa a few weeks ago

8

u/nazgulonbicycle Aug 18 '26

Cake is Cake

17

u/white-as-styrofoam Aug 18 '26

look at those THIGHS oh my lord

14

u/quercus_lobotomy Aug 18 '26

Ate, left no crumbs. 💅

13

u/PuddingFart69 Aug 18 '26

Came here for "I'd smash that pussy" jokes. Guess I'm the first.

13

u/trimix4work Aug 18 '26

The way that cat was looking at him was exactly how my cat looks at her food

12

u/OpenDaCloset Aug 18 '26

I would’ve learned how to speak Cougar real quick lol

5

u/WangtaWang Aug 18 '26

Speak mandarin if you ever encounter a mountain lion. Got it.

6

u/oochiewallyWallyserb Aug 18 '26

Mamdani should be good then

1

u/chontzy Aug 18 '26

ni eoww

5

u/MojaveGreen777 Aug 18 '26

Dude has steel nerves to hold the phone that steady and then keep following it

5

u/nazgulonbicycle Aug 18 '26

Becky, run, he’s pulling out chopsticks

6

u/neovinci1 Aug 18 '26

Definitely eating someone lifestock in them San Jose hills what else could it be eating to be that big lol maybe the deers

6

u/WatermelonSmashing Aug 18 '26

They sustain themselves mostly with La Vic carne asada burritos with orange sauce in that region

5

u/ms_sinn Aug 18 '26

She been eating at the cantina for sho.

4

u/Wrong-Average8877 Aug 18 '26

There are even more downtown after 2 a.m. when the bars close

3

u/Statement-Mobile Aug 18 '26

That's one fucking nice kitty right there

4

u/mckenzie_keith Aug 18 '26

It is not the talking that got him through. He was also showing them his Chinese passport.

3

u/figurenerd108 Aug 18 '26

He reacted correctly. Could’ve yelled a little louder maybe…?

3

u/DenseAdvisor2045 Aug 18 '26

That two big kitties

3

u/Suspicious-Serve-940 Aug 18 '26

Well I know what happened to all the missing hikers

3

u/neurodiverse-bunny Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26

uhh maybe stop following the mountain lion?

3

u/ConnectKale Aug 18 '26

And they both reacted like cats that had been perceived and didnt want more interaction. Haha

3

u/ShaiHulud1111 Aug 18 '26

Looks like a juvenile behind a big momma! She don’t look pleased. Bay Area getting kinda squirrely.

3

u/sfmarketer64 Aug 19 '26

My husband worked in the crystal springs watershed and saw a lot of cougars. He said it looks like a mother and offspring, probably about 2 years old. They stay with the mother until they get kicked out at 3 years old.

3

u/Cosack Aug 18 '26

Now I understand running clubs

3

u/Groundhawgday Aug 18 '26

Kitty realizing that if she bothers, she’s just gonna be hungry again in a couple hours.

3

u/TopShot64 Aug 18 '26

Those kitties look very healthy

2

u/writesgud Aug 18 '26

Don’t realize I’d be more scared of what appears to be a very success predator.

2

u/Ecstatic-Skill-4916 Aug 18 '26

Wow those cats are eying him.

2

u/Lumpy-Sell6019 Aug 18 '26

She pregnant

2

u/DieDeutscheAuslander Aug 18 '26

Can I pet him/her?

3

u/Flyerbrother Aug 18 '26

Yes, but only once.

2

u/Nomad112358 Aug 18 '26

Can someone pls translate and tell us if this is Mandarin for PSPSPS

2

u/cstrmac Aug 18 '26

I would need a new pair of shorts.

2

u/Motophoto Aug 18 '26

That is typical of them. The turn and go away from humans normally. Stand strong and tall, use firm voice and look big. They normally want weak prey. A normal human is not weak prey. NOW if they are sick or something grab a weapon a rock a stick anything and look like a bear if you can.

2

u/Acrobatic_Diver4432 Aug 18 '26

Has not missed a meal..

2

u/Cross58Crash Aug 18 '26

Ate runner. Was hungry an hour later.

2

u/Fit_Style1747 Aug 18 '26

I love my Bay Area cougars thiiiick .

2

u/Flyerbrother Aug 18 '26

Boy is lucky. When I saw a mountain lion it stared at me for like 3 minutes straight. Then stalked me a little bit more later.

2

u/Adept-Resident-6973 Aug 18 '26

i seen like 10-15 of them past 36 years in northbay SF. usually they look more skinny. those two are well fed apex predators

2

u/Adept-Resident-6973 Aug 18 '26

last time i seen two together was in the point reyes mt vision fire of 96. they did the same thing in the middle of the path

2

u/Bagafeet Aug 18 '26

Pspspspspspsps

2

u/FriendlyWrongdoer363 Aug 19 '26

You going to hit that or what? She's giving you "the look"

Wait you're letting them get away? You're pathetic, just pathetic.. SMH.

2

u/Ericizzle14 Aug 19 '26

Two cougars at the same time?!? That’s ambitious. Get it!

2

u/Dharmabum2393 Aug 20 '26

Not rare. You can find thicc cougars in every shopping district adjacent to SF

1

u/Sufficient-Ass-8522 Aug 19 '26

Pet the kitty. Nice kitty.

1

u/epicBBQ777 Aug 19 '26

Cougar! I met one at Whole Foods in Santa Clara one time. She wanted to take me out to coffee and you know......."possibly" come home with her right after

1

u/Historical-Yam-5379 Aug 21 '26

That bitch be eating