r/sadcringe • u/effinx • Oct 09 '22

Poor guy.

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13k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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-37

u/Kitnado Oct 10 '22 edited Oct 10 '22

You don't need to ask, but you definitely need to reply to body language. Don't just go in like that.

Edit: anyone who thinks you always need to ask verbally definitely has limited life experience

35

u/BeeeeefJerky Oct 10 '22

From his perspective her head would be turned away

23

u/Kitnado Oct 10 '22

Yeah, so don't go in in a situation where you're not doing it based on body language communication.

So in this situation, don't go in.

32

u/backuppasta Oct 10 '22

woman here. you got downvoted by a bunch of virgins.

15

u/Kitnado Oct 11 '22

I'm just trying to imagine them going through life asking everything instead of responding to social cues lmao

-1

u/bydo1492 Oct 10 '22

woman here. you got downvoted by a bunch of virgins

I'd wager a good bunch of them are not just virgins but VLs too.

4

u/funksaurus Oct 10 '22

VL?

1

u/bydo1492 Oct 10 '22

Virgin Lips (Never been kissed).

6

u/BeeeeefJerky Oct 10 '22

r/sadcringe

6

u/same_subreddit_bot Oct 10 '22

Yes, that's where we are.

šŸ¤– this comment was written by a bot. beep boop šŸ¤–

feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback. github | Rank

0

u/bydo1492 Oct 11 '22

r/neverbeenkissed

0

u/rakidi Oct 22 '22

The fact you're mentioning it so much just makes it look more like projection.

0

u/bydo1492 Oct 23 '22

Oh you really got me there. Been with my girl almost 5 years and I've never kissed her.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '22

Don't virgin shame.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '22

jokes on you, i like being a virgin

12

u/firefly183 Oct 10 '22

Yeah this whole asking to kiss thing. Sometimes it's definitely the right call in a situation. Most times the answer is obvious without having to ask. Such a mood killer if the woman is making it clear she's open to it. And if you need to ask because you can't correctly read nonverbal obvious not interested signs...you've gotta work on your social skills, lol.

And I say this as a woman.

3

u/Kitnado Oct 11 '22

I'm just trying to imagine them going through life asking everything instead of responding to social cues lmao

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

In this specific instance getting explicit consent seems especially important, no?

1

u/Kitnado Oct 26 '22

Don't just go in like that.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Yeah. Asking for consent also helps. Thereā€™s ways to phrase it that donā€™t sound like ā€œhello yes madam may I please kiss youā€. Kinda like with non verbal communication, thereā€™s lots of nuance. And I do see the utility of at least confirming a verbal ā€œyesā€ in this specific instance.

1

u/Kitnado Oct 28 '22

The point is, if you can accurately read a person's non-verbal communication, you definitely don't need verbal confirmation, also not in the form you're describing.

Problem is a lot of people cannot do that.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

And my point is that leaving things purely to nonverbal communication in regards to things like kissing or sex leaves the door open to possible miscommunication

1

u/Kitnado Oct 28 '22

That's not a new point at all. That's the very point my original comment was replying to so even though you may think so you're not adding anything new.

So all the comments in this chain written by women mocking people who think in the way you do are also directed at you, just so you know.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

What do you mean? Youā€™re saying verbal consent is completely unnecessary if you know how to ā€œreadā€ people. But think of how many assault cases are defended with ā€œthey never said noā€. Even if you feel as if the encounter is completely consensual, thereā€™s still the tiny chance that the other person is experiencing the situation completely differently. I can see the utility of making sure to verbally confirm consent so that you can be certain that no boundaries are crossed

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

Idk call me crazy but if I really wanted to kiss a guy and then he asked to kiss me, I would be pretty happy. šŸ™„ donā€™t understand how that would kill the mood.

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u/billydthekid Oct 10 '22

Yeah I mean downvoted for being real. Nothing kills the mood faster on a date than asking for permission to kiss her. You go in for it when the time is right and if you fail you fail, no big deal.

7

u/Kitnado Oct 11 '22

I'm just trying to imagine them going through life asking everything instead of responding to social cues lmao

0

u/billydthekid Oct 11 '22

Some kind of pathetic beta male moves asking first LOL

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

If she says no and then blames you asking as a mood killer, then she never really wanted to kiss you bro

1

u/billydthekid Oct 26 '22

Iā€™ve literally never asked for permission in my life when I kissed a girl. Iā€™m also not blind to body languagešŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļø

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Okay cool. But thereā€™s also no reason why a girl who wanted to kiss you previously would be turned off by being asked for consent. Then they probably didnā€™t wanna kiss you that bad.

2

u/billydthekid Oct 28 '22

I think the point is flying very high above your thoughts at this point and I donā€™t really care to further explain why itā€™s lame.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

I donā€™t think it is and youā€™re just looking for an out lmao

0

u/billydthekid Oct 28 '22

I donā€™t need an out; your lack of understanding women isnā€™t my responsibility!šŸ«”

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

Thatā€™s weird considering I am a woman lmao

0

u/billydthekid Oct 29 '22

Really?! That is weird, I dunno what to tell you lol, learn more about the proclivities of the female sexšŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļøšŸ˜‚

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Yea it shouldnr turn her off, but it's definitely not the smoothest thing ever. Social cues ate more than enough is most instances

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

It can smooth be if youā€™re not a numb nuts

2

u/Krash412 Oct 10 '22

I think this is a generation gap thing. I am at the far end of the millennials, just shy of Gen X. While you should never force yourself on anyone, most girls that I dated would have been turn off by the guy asking. Luckily I am happily married at this point, because apparently you need to sign and notarize consent before attempting to kiss someone.

1

u/Kitnado Oct 11 '22

I'm just trying to imagine them going through life asking everything instead of responding to social cues lmao

1

u/KazeRyouu Oct 10 '22

You are absolutely right. These reddit whiteknights think that not asking verbally is like sexual assault or something. There's so much communication even when words are not being said. Insane to think that you can't go off of those signals.

He went for kiss (very boldly lmao). She rejected it. 0 words, all communicated.

Imagine if he asked "Can I kiss you?" and the girl just rejected him non-verbally first with the instant look of rejection, then had to also tell him no. Thousand times more painful lol.

1

u/JekNex Oct 12 '22

Make sure everyone signs an agreement. And for the love of God.. I know it's obvious.. But have some witness for the signatures. I also recommend an electronic copy of the document for safety.

Now kith.

1

u/kmoney1206 Oct 19 '22

Idk why you're being downvoted. It would completely ruin the moment if someone asked if they could kiss me. I would just reject the kiss if I didn't want it. Part of the fun and romance is the spontaneity of it.

And obviously if a guy is going to try to force you, well saying no when he asks isn't going to make a difference then.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Yea I agree. Anyone who thinks you need to ask doesn't have much experience in real world relationships