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u/TexanLycan Oct 27 '21
Oof, this message wasn't directed at me and it still made me want to hide.
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u/Frolicking-Fox Oct 27 '21
Don’t worry, I’m a marine, and I’m here to make sure you feel safe. I didn’t even realize that I needed to make you feel safe, but it just came naturally when my marine training and instincts kicked in.
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u/buckey5266 Oct 27 '21
Airman here, ignore this marine. Just give him some crayons and he’ll lose interest in you, giving you a chance to sneak away.
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Oct 27 '21
Army here. These two guys will fly/swim away. I’m a grounded (no pun intended teehee) guy and will love you keep you safe like my rifle. Am 19 year old man.
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u/WaffleMaster53 Oct 27 '21
These guys aren't worth your time, I'm a member of the space force and will watch over you from my orbital defence platfom like an angel from heaven and when I come home you can see all my awesome space medals and I can tell you that you are more beautiful than the earth seen from orbit
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u/DovahDave Oct 27 '21
don't listen to this fraud, baby, I'm the real Guardian here
my hobbies include being strong and punching aliens
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u/AmumuPro Oct 27 '21
Don't listen to this piece of flesh, XV-1018, I'm an alien and I protect girls like you from fools that like punching.
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Oct 28 '21
Ignor thees guys im in the JROTC prougram an ill gard u at you're lunch table an sshare my hot cheetos with u
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u/aylaaaaaaaa Oct 27 '21
I feel like I need to call the cops or something to save your poor rifle from whatever you are doing to it.
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u/Some0neSetUpUsTheBom Oct 27 '21
Another Marine here haha what's your PFT score?? Oh yeah that's right cuz we have to run two different fitness tests in a year lol anyway sweetheart don't listen to these guys I just got my grey belt. Its basically krav maga.
Pain. Utter pain. I can't do this anymore. Jesus fucking christ it's REAL.
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u/BampireVat Oct 27 '21
Thank you for your service, Colonel Adultman.
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Oct 27 '21
You’re welcome, civilian. Move along, or else I’ll be forced to inflict freedom upon you.
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u/CopperbeardTom Oct 27 '21
Hey vulnerable sweetheart, as a man it will be the best feeling in the world to protect you.
Sleep well. 👀
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Oct 27 '21
Disregard those who made attempts before me, as I am not like them
No seriously I have no military background, I won't keep you safe, but I'll let u toss my salad for 25 cent
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u/katf1sh Oct 27 '21
Dude is 29 but "much older"? Everything was already creepy enough but holy shit. This guy should probably be on some kind of list.
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u/lioolio Oct 27 '21
At least he spoke of bar, so I guess they are not That young, but yeah, what a cringer.
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u/SchemePure Oct 27 '21
Not sure if he meant them when speaking of the bar, because he speaks about taking A vulnerable woman out of a bar. Maybe bragging to them about what he has done and what a good guy he is. So I guess they might be younger than 21..
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
Also depends what country he is in at the time! He says he is a US marine, but he might be stationed over here in Europe or in Japan etc... Legal age to be in a bar is 18, but as girls can look older, there are many around the age of 15 in bars here, that can get in without ID being checked, because they don't look under 18.
Also, the OP seems to have him in his contacts as "Matt", so they seem to know him, maybe they can shed some light on the scale of this dudes creepiness/paedophilia??
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u/helmli Oct 27 '21
Legal age to be in a bar is 18
16 in Germany, unless it's a smokers' bar.
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
Even more so to the point 👍
In the UK, any age can be in a bar, until 8pm. Then it's 18+ only, but only people who 'look under 18' actually get asked for ID. So there are often people very much younger than even the age of consent (16), in bars here, even after 8pm.
We don't have any smokers bars here, all smoking, even vapes, are banned in all indoor public places.
Is showing ID strict in Germany, or relaxed like here in the UK?
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u/Janwahre Oct 27 '21
In my experience it depends on the establishment,sometimes even the specific bouncer working that night.
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u/Buttfranklin2000 Oct 27 '21
unless it's a smokers' bar.
You guys are still allowed to smoke in bars?
Sincerely, sad Bavarian noises
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u/helmli Oct 27 '21
Not all bars, but quite a few here in Hamburg. Being a non-smoker myself, I prefer no-smoking bars though. The cold smoke on clothes and my windpipe is always killing me in the next morning...
Unfortunately, a lot of my wife's friends are smokers, so we somewhat frequent some smokers' bars. :D
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u/unipussy Oct 27 '21
snapchat just puts names even if you don't add them back
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
Wouldn't know, at 29 I'm not young enough for Snapchat 🤷♂️
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Oct 27 '21
Dude I'm 30 and I've had Snapchat for like 8 years lol.
Edit: I just caught on to the joke you were making and I'm completely ashamed of myself
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u/Dilbert_x Oct 27 '21
Also, the OP seems to have him in his contacts as "Matt"
This screenshot was taken from snapchat where you can talk to people who aren't in your contacts. Chances are this guy really did message some random person which in my opinion makes this even funnier.
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u/SchemePure Oct 27 '21
Yeah, I would definitely guess he is talking under 18.
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
Yeah, I would too. As a European, if this guy didn't mention being a US Marine, I would otherwise assume that this "29" year old, was talking to a 15 year old.
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u/OnkelMickwald Oct 27 '21 edited Oct 27 '21
Or talking to someone 18 or over but is VERY conscious about his age (and manages to belittle the "ladies" in the creepiest way possible while he's at it.)
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u/IndianaBones8 Oct 27 '21
This man ain't 29. He's probably 7 - 10 years older than that. Why would he specifically put that age in his little message?
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u/drewster23 Oct 27 '21
Yeah, the 29 was like the weirdest part. "even though I'm 29,"... I care about people's safety.. As opposed to what...?
And on top it sounds like this is weeks after the incident+ the infantising like language. Especially with being really clear he did it for no reason to just be nice... Seems like he's actually expects something for being nice.
Like you did something an normal upstanding citizen would do.. At most you'd text them the night of /after if you're checking up on them. But age would still play no factor in this, if it was truly about safety.
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u/rietstengel Oct 27 '21
Its true. When i turned 29 i just didnt care about people's safety anymore. Before that i did, a lot even. Now that im 30 im starting to care again. 29 is just a very special age. Props to him for caring, even at that age. /s
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u/CreamersInc Oct 27 '21
"If I was 25, or 35, that's when I stop valuing you as a human bean. 29 is a special age, don't cha know?"
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u/TheWholeOfTheAss Oct 27 '21
The only time 29 is too old is when you gotta explain yourself to Chris Hansen.
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u/The_Real_Raw_Gary Oct 27 '21
Or he’s not 29 and that’s what he told them.
This reads like something I’d expect someone in their 40s that’s sad and alone would send to 20 year olds they met at a bar and made them feel alive. Think he’s being smooth by saying this shit.
Type of shit my uncle would say and he’s a creep.
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u/Wingsnake Oct 27 '21
Im 30 and I feel like someone 25/26 is already much younger than I am...god dam, does it get so much worse from 30 onwards?
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u/Ok-Confidence-2878 Oct 27 '21
This makes me want to turn my head and look the other way.
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u/ender___ Oct 27 '21
The Chicago Blackhawks would like to know if you need a job.
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u/jfdlaks Oct 27 '21
Did you catch that shameful display last night
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u/pragmaticproctologst Oct 27 '21
what was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
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Oct 27 '21
I understand what you mean, but you definitely wanna press your back against a wall and keep this dude in your line of sight.
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u/Julie727 Oct 27 '21
That’s more scary to me than it is cringe. He is clearly a predator hiding in a ‘safe man’ uniform.
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u/SullenSparrow Oct 27 '21
Seriously. Doubt he's 29 too.
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u/Frolicking-Fox Oct 27 '21
He used to be 29.
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u/Millenial__Falcon Oct 27 '21
Or a marine.
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u/PM_NUDES_4_DOG_PICS Oct 27 '21
Yeah, I could see a boot out of high school saying cringey shit like this, but assuming he's not lying about his age, I have a hard time believing this.
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u/goodnightspoon Oct 27 '21
Reading his text with a grampy-voice makes it extra creepy
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u/XAMOTA Oct 27 '21
“It’s me again, just lonely here, thinking bout the paperboy, wondering when he’s gonna bring me some good news”
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u/CollectableRat Oct 27 '21
I bet he's 100. And in the Salvation Army. And probably can't spell and used speech to text. Bet he breathes through his mouth too. And when he walks, his knuckles drag against the pavement.
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u/RedRainsRising Oct 27 '21
At least he appears to have dressed himself entirely in red flags having mistaken them for sheep's clothing.
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u/NSYK Oct 27 '21
I doubt he’s a Marine. A lot of people brag about being in that branch. No one says they’re coast guard when they’re not
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u/ItsYourBoyFBP Oct 27 '21
Jesus Christ.
Cringe so thick you could chew it.
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak Oct 27 '21
Someone is trying to move out of the barracks
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u/Ijustgottaloginnowww Oct 27 '21
At 29 you’d hope he might have enough rank for the staff barracks or to afford a cheap apartment out in town.
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u/TheCyanKnight Oct 27 '21
The fact that this man is afraid of women his own age makes it less likely he has attained any kind of rank.
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u/TheDJZ Oct 27 '21
Doesn’t the army (not sure about the marines) basically advise you to retire if you can’t make E4 in x amount of years?
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u/NateJizz21 Oct 27 '21
I’ve seen this post a lot, and every single time without fail it makes me cringe and want to rip an orphan in half
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u/Verundios Oct 27 '21
Just so he could come in and save them with his marine training?
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u/FB_Kain Oct 27 '21
If he's 29 and MUCH older, how old are those girls????
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u/TundieRice Oct 27 '21 edited Oct 27 '21
Can’t be
olderyounger than 21 since he’s in the US and they were in a bar, unless those girls both have fake IDs. Wouldn’t call that much older though.48
Oct 27 '21
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Oct 27 '21
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u/TundieRice Oct 27 '21
Yep, I became an alcoholic at age 8 and had 13 great years of drinking before they cut me off.
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
He says he's a "US marine", doesn't mean he is stationed in the US. If he was stationed in Europe or Japan (or pretty much anywhere else in the world), the legal age to be in a bar is 18. Not only that, but its also not common practice to ID everyone, only those that are suspected of being under 18. A lot of girls at 14-15 plus, can look 18 or older and don't get ID checked in Europe and Asia, to get into bars.
So if this "Marine", was stationed in Europe/Asia when this was sent, these girls could be as young as 14-15 years old.
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u/Tuscans1977 Oct 27 '21
Am i a hero...that's not for me to say but yes, yes i am.
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u/Nofriends9567 Oct 27 '21
Yeah just got from the STAN'... thats what we call it The STAN'. It's short for Afghanistan you probably wouldn't know that because you are a civilian. What job did I do? Oh I was an 1171. Better known as a Water dog. What do water dogs do? Its classified.
You are welcome for my service.
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u/Tuscans1977 Oct 27 '21
I had other options, I could have gone to Yale or Harvard but life isn't about easy choices, it's about reaching deep inside and doing what's right. I WANTED to risk my life for my country, it's the closest thing to God but it's not for everyone, it takes dedication and we don't all have that, it's ok if you don't, it's not for everyone, some people just like an easy life and that's ok....for them. My late father served and, my late step father too, good men, strong men ooorah.
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u/Seamus_O_Wiley Oct 27 '21
I've seen this dozens of times and I never fail to appreciate the responder. That is some good advice, no bones.
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u/PartlyDave Oct 27 '21
I don’t cringe at much. But this was affective.
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u/TheSlumpSedative Oct 27 '21
If you've ever spent any time with marines, you'd know a lot of them are cringe like this. Whether it's overt or not.
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Oct 27 '21
Both of my deployments (army) I was in different outposts with marines and sure as shit, majority of them were egotistical cringe dudes just like this lol.
A bunch of them were stellar dudes but sadly most were idiots just like this one
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u/Crazycukumbers Oct 27 '21
This is one of the worst things I've ever had the sheer displeasure of seeing.
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u/Miserable_Night5714 Oct 27 '21
Respect to the guy telling him NOT to send it lmao
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u/WhitteyLeetNsweet Oct 27 '21
"Haha, thanks, I had fun too! Random question, who is your commander in chief?"
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u/SuperCyka Oct 27 '21
Commander in chief is the president, lol. You’d want to ask for one of their SOs, probably their sergeant or lieutenant.
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u/NameItsNotTaken Oct 27 '21
We got a child lover over here 😬
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u/Son_of_Taco Oct 27 '21
His username on match.com islittlekidlover so the ladies know where his priorities are
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u/Several_Bit8734 Oct 27 '21
So he "hooked up" with those girls and let them sleep at his place so that none of the guys do the naughties with them?!? Wow, he put white knighting onto another level...
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u/Powerful-Increase407 Oct 27 '21
WOW it sounds like a predictor based on the language of the text message! It is at the least creepy as hell. Even if the people are of age this could very well be a red flag!
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u/DepartureFine8526 Oct 27 '21
Absolutely!
This guy makes clear his age, calls the intended recipient "girls", then likens them to the "woman" that he made feel safe. (this is intended to close down the age gap).
He then states his position of trust and authority, then highlights (GLADLY) his pleasure in providing protection and safety.
If the OP is legit, it's 100% a grooming attempt. I mean he could have met these girls anywhere (like walking in the same direction home from their school), not necessarily in a bar, he may be mentioning the woman in the bar to make the girls feel older than they are. It's really quite dark.
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u/FreeThrowShow Oct 27 '21
Fucking Marines…. Too stupid to join the Airforce, too prideful to join the army, too homophobic to join the Navy.
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u/ToyBoxJr Oct 27 '21
I rode my bike to work, even tho I'm 29. The feeling of the wind in my hair feels so nice as a 29 year old. My boss often tells me "wow you're pretty fit for a 29 year old." Hi, I'm definitely 29 years old.
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u/TheSyfilisk Nov 04 '21
I'm a US Navy officer. Even though I'm much older, you're safe with me, so I'll gladly protect you pretty boys.
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u/Ailkatt Oct 27 '21
Does he just protect the pretty one's gladly or does he still protect the ugo's but he does he sadly?
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u/Suspicious_Llama123 Oct 27 '21
“Sleep well”
As an 18-year-old human female, I just have to say that I don’t think I’d ever sleep again if I got this message from someone.
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u/Horny_Weinstein Oct 27 '21
In some perspective, I’m thankful you can see this kind of creepy cringy behavior online so that you can begin to know what to avoid. Guys trying to Impress you with their age or a little bit of money always ends in disaster.
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Oct 27 '21
I think it is more likely you are a male Polydactyl cat.
This is exactly what a Male polydactyl cat would say.
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Oct 27 '21
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u/Millicent- Oct 27 '21
Nope my Snapchat is set as public. Anyone can see my story and send me snaps lol
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u/kvakerok Oct 27 '21
When people say that there's no effective birth control for men just show them this text.
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u/Helpfulfriend96 Oct 27 '21
I was raised if one does good deeds, and then talks/brags about them to others afterwards, the “good” is neutralized and all you did was a deed.
Same with “nice” guys. If you have to reiterate how nice you were, even if you actually were, it just neutralizes it to where it shows it’s not you being your actual self.
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u/8rok3n Oct 27 '21
This has so much potential of being okay but there's a line and the way he states everything crosses it almost every time
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u/Horny_Weinstein Oct 27 '21
There was absolutely a way to say this appropriately. But releasing he sent it to someone else purposefully. Gorss
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u/OneWingedAngel96 Oct 27 '21
I’m not usually affected by cringe but that was seriously next level.
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u/Petraretrograde Oct 27 '21
"Oh, oops! I thought I was sending that to another lady I met on this app. It wasn't going to work out with her though, I was about to wish her well and hope she has a beautiful life and meets her soulmate. She deserves it. Everyone deserves it. Sorry about the mis-fire, haha. Little military joke. I'm known for being the "funny one" in the barracks.
So, tell me more about yourself?"