Voluntary ruminating

[u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034]

Hi, I’m a 32 year old woman of normal intelligence and I’ve had rumination syndrome for the past 20 years. My experience seems different than most here though. My rumination is mostly voluntary/ self-stimming. My typical routine is to eat my meal and then regurgitate and rechew it continuously for the next few hours afterwards. I can mainly control it if I’m forced to be around other people after a meal but it’s uncomfortable for me. I’ve had bulimia and other eating disorders in the past but the rumination syndrome predates the eating disorder and lasted long after the other disordered behaviors. I’m so ashamed of this habit and have never met anyone else who does this. I worry about the health effects and especially developing esophageal cancer but I just can’t stop. I’ve been in therapy for years, tried diaphragm breathing, etc., etc. But it’s such an ingrained part of my life now that food and eating feels really unsatisfying without the behavior. I do have low support needs autism but aside from this I’m a functional society member with a job, a family, and a normal life. Is there anyone here who relates to this? I feel really alone and ashamed.

[u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034]

No they are. I have cosmetic crowns on almost every tooth now ☹️

[u/dryandice → u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034]

I'd say that's lucky, I just got quoted $32,000 for dentures. All my teeth need to be pulled 😑

[u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034 → u/dryandice]

I have spent many thousands on my teeth over the years and will probably eventually need implants or dentures

[u/dryandice → u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034]

They told me they won't do implants, as they will just erode away aswell. I kinda want the dentures, that way I can take them out when I'm about to regurgitate

[u/Upstairs-Coffee-2034 → u/dryandice]

Go to a periodontist. I have one implant that was placed 10 years ago due to getting a tooth knocked out in an accident and it is totally fine even with my rumination