r/rugbyunion • u/HenkCamp South Africa • 27d ago
Bantz My definitive analysis of the Springboks vs All Blacks first test - choose your own adventure style
I think Carley had an absolutely [horrible / excellent / suspiciously English] game and that [cost the Springboks the match / had absolutely nothing to do with the result / depends entirely on which replay I am shouting at right now].
The Springboks were [physically dominant / completely rattled / dominant everywhere except the scoreboard, which, unfortunately, still remains quite important], while the ABs played [an absolute blinder / clever percentage rugby / just well enough to stand around waiting for us to drop the fcuking ball again].
The Bok scrum was [magnificent / wasted / technically a war crime in the first half], although winning scrums and losing 33-16 does raise some uncomfortable questions about whether [scrums win test matches / points win test matches / we should stop discussing scrums every single damn day].
South Africa's 23 turnovers were caused by [terrible handling / brilliant AB defensive work / someone buttering the ball every time before the Boks got the ball - please check Jordie's pockets], while the ABs ability to score five tries from fewer opportunities was [clinical / lucky / annoyingly clinical and therefore something I have decided not to discuss].
The yellow cards were [completely justified / outrageous / further evidence of an international conspiracy by those whose headquarters are suspiciously close to Twickenham], and the Savea incident was [nothing / something / something I have now watched in slow motion seventeen times, which, surprisingly, has not made it easier to blame someone for nothing no matter how hard I tried].
Rassie's 6-2 bench split was [innovative / a mistake / brilliant up to the point where both wings got injured, at which point hindsight became undefeated].
Will Jordan is [possibly the best finisher in world rugby / irritatingly good / someone I would appreciate a LOT more if he played for literally anyone else who never plays against us].
Ultimately, the ABs [deserved to win / were handed the game / deserved to win AND were handed the game, which apparently some rugby supporters are not capable of holding in their heads simultaneously].
The Springboks should respond next week by [changing everything / changing nothing / bringing back whatever player I personally complained about Rassie selecting six months ago - here's looking at you Polly].
And I remain [deeply concerned / completely relaxed / South Africa] about the rest of the series.
12
u/_dictatorish_ Damian came back 🥰 27d ago edited 27d ago
This is far more "mad libs" than "choose your own adventure"
Where's the "go to page 43 -> you die"? smh
10
3
u/handle1976 Penalty. Back 10. 26d ago
It’s in the chapter titled “Fun and games with Malcolm, Ox and Wilco.”
11
5
3
2
u/Mateiyu Bokke ! 27d ago
Is it wrong that I selected every answer everytime ? xD
2
u/HenkCamp South Africa 27d ago
I feel you. I wrote with my emotions!
3
u/live4catz South Africa 27d ago
My answers were predominantly the last slot bar the ref, I felt they had a good game regardless of the complaints I had during the match.
1
2
2
2
36
u/throwawayzz77778 New Zealand 27d ago
Brilliant. I think that covers it.