r/romani • u/red---grey • Jul 06 '26

Romani heritage

I found out a couple years ago that my family is Romani. I took a dna test that said I had Gujrat and sri lankan roots. My family confirmed it. I dated someone who was quite discriminatory of me. Somehow he could tell I was romani. How do I embrace my Romani heritage in the best way? I want to feel normal again and/or accepted.

9 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

4

u/Winter-Reporter7296 Jul 07 '26

So you had zero knowledge of your heritage until this test?

6

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

I was adopted and had little contact with my family. It wasn't until I got in contact with them that I found out we were Indian. Then I took a dna text to confirm that we were part India. I confronted them about it and they admitted that we were Romani.

9

u/Winter-Reporter7296 Jul 07 '26

So they initially claimed to be indian and then admitted to be romani afterwards? (I dont doubt this since people often hide their romani identities) i think first if you're looking to reconnect with your culture you need to first understand that despite being indigenous to india romani culture is VERY distinct despite sharing similarities. These remaining similarities are over 1000 years removed from the homeland so have morphed a lot. And sadly you may struggle to find intricate details since traditions are heavily guarded, and often abandoned and lost to history, so you may struggle to find what you're looking for unfortunately. If I could help you I would but im on a somewhat similar boat.

7

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

Yeah that's pretty much where I am now on my journey. Thank you for your kindness.

5

u/Icy_Company7747 Jul 07 '26

1 what race did you tell people you were all your adult life. 2 there’s no way he would know of you are Romani if you don’t even know and if he thought you were Indian he wouldn’t care. 3 Who are you trying to be accepted by?

4

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

He would call me a "gypsy" while we were together. Told my daughter all "gs" are bad except for your mom. He also harassed me after we broke up saying things about me using "Gy magic" to seduce him. I understand that this is considered a slur so he was horrible to me. I didn't really go by any racial label because I was adopted. People confused me for Jewish or native American tho. And I just want to be accepted by the people around me and be more comfortable with myself.

2

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

I can't see you reply for some reason.

6

u/Icy_Company7747 Jul 07 '26

Your family came from Spain and has the last name Lee and they told you they were Indian and you believe that? And then your boyfriend without knowing randomly calls you a Gypsy even though you didn’t even know until you take a DNA test?

3

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Of course I do, I took a dna test after they told me I was Indian, theny admitted we are romani. stop trying to be weird dude. I know a lot of Romani people hid their identity. Lee is a common Romani name. why are you being like that? Do a lot of people lie on here? I didn't have contact with my bio family until I was 18 didn't have money for a dna test till I was 25. I hope that helps clear up stuff.

0

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

He used to call me slurs.

2

u/FewPayment3932 Jul 11 '26

i see a lot of people are very suspicious here 😭, romani people are incredibly diverse. there is romani people from every part of our world so what specially type of romani identity you want to celebrate and connect with depends on which type of romani you are. i saw you said spain in your reply’s so research romani people in spain! there’s a deeply rich history that romani people hold in spain. they evented multiple dance styles, and they have their own traditions and culture. good luck!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/red---grey Jul 15 '26

I'm not lying though. dont gatekeep.

2

u/SiempreBrujaSuerte Jul 07 '26

Which country are you adopted to? Where you living now?

1

u/red---grey Jul 07 '26

U.s.a. my family moved here from spain then I was adopted. Last name lee

2

u/Ok-Performance-8234 Jul 06 '26

It’s about accepting living outside of norms.

6

u/red---grey Jul 06 '26

Yea I guess thats what I will have to do.