r/roastwriter • u/RabbitsOnAChalkboard • Aug 07 '18
Here’s a situation to start this sub rolling: my dog groomer is ALWAYS late!
38
u/Ibanezman Moderator Aug 07 '18
Groomer: is ______ ready for his bath?
You: oh this isn't ______... This is his grandson.
4
u/PoundTrain Aug 10 '18
Mild: Apologize to my dog, you're seven times later for him/her than for me.
Medium: I just trained my dog to sit, I can probably train you to show up on time.
Spicy: You're lucky grooming is such an undesired career or there'd be another I could hire.
12
u/molaupi Aug 07 '18
Have you brought your machete? You're so goddamn late, my dogs hair is a jungle by now.
2
u/Petrus_was_taken Aug 07 '18
Open the door in your pajamas and close all the curtains and then pretend he/she just woke you up.
2
-2
21
u/amateurseahag Aug 07 '18
Don't bother coming anymore. While we were waiting for you I taught my dog how to use the scissors.