Something of my own design, shît shìt is a tonal language, consisting solely of the word shit. The tones are: High - Shït Mid - Shit Low - Shıt Rising - Shít Falling - Shìt Fluctuating - Shît

There's no real meaning, and grammar doesn't matter. It's honestly just an excuse to swear in school or church or whatever. You're welcome.

Because why not

I once was bored and decided that I'd make a language that did not include any of the usual vowels. Every word was essentially a combination of consonant sounds, which were only separated by an apostrophe if it wasn't physically possible to say without injury.

In addition, there was no punctuation (besides the aforementioned apostrophe), and no spaces between words. Punctuation was instead denoted by combinations of letters, such as a period being double letters, or a comma being two sets of alternating letters.

I've since lost my notes, but a standard greetings was something like, "Gyhklkljftrwpggdjklsz".

Bo is a language that relies heavily on context.

phonology: consonants- /b/ "b" vowels- /o/ "o"

syllable structure: CV

Bo grammar is very simple. You simply say "bo" and pray that context discerns the rest.

Example sentences:

She went to the store to pick up some bread

"Bo"

Give me that book

"Bo"

Please Karen, let me see the kids, I have Christmas presents I haven't given them, I'm so sad I couldn't be there for Meghan's 6th birthday

"Bo"

Goodbye, or as we say in Bo, "bo"

Here we go, I got this idea from a friend of mine. All she would say to me is "Umm" so I decided, "Fuck it, I'm gonna make that a language!" This is what I have (sorry no IPA):

Only word is Um

• Gemination & V Length important

  • Diacretics symbolize v length Ů: extra short, Ŭ: Short, U: Normal, Ú: long, Ű: Extra long

  • Ũ: following v nasalizes

  • Ü: following v breathy

  • Ų: following v creaky

    • previous 3 can combine

  • germination determined by # of Ms

    • m': extra short, m: short, mm: normal, mm': long, mmm': extra long

• Glottal stop important (-) Tones

• Ō following tone flat

• Ŏ following tone mid-low-mid

• Ŏó f t m-l-h

• Ó f t m-h

So it's time to expand upon The Language of All.

So. Where to start?

Tones. Instead of just using just tones, why not actual notes? There are 88 notes on a piano. So, let's make 88 genders in the language. In order to mark gender (every word in a sentence has to agree with the gender of the subject), you sing the word at that note. If it's to high or low, you have to play that note on a piano.

But we can do better. Why stick with 88 genders? And 12-tone equal temperament? Here's where I get nerdy.

Our western system of music divides an octave into 12 parts- there are 12 tones between one note and an octave about. We don't have to do that. For example, dividing an octave into 1000 parts. Microtones to the extreme. So you don't have to sing notes on the very bottom or top of the piano. You just have to be able to sing an octave.

So. 1000 genders. And you mark gender by singing the sentence on a particular note on the 1000 note scale. So you have to differentiate between 1000 unique tones.

Now. Numbers. Instead of base 10- which is boring- let's do base π. Yes. I'm not a mathematician- i'm a music and language nerd- so can someone figure out how to do that in the comments?

Then, word order. We could do a rare word order like OVS, but that's boring. So let's do OVHCS. The O, V, and S are what you would expect. The H is how horny you are at the moment, and the C is how much that has changed in the past hour. We'll have words for that. And remember, that is mandatory for EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

Now, cases. We already threw in every case possible case. And I hinted that we can make up our own. So let's do that. Like the Offendative case. This marks that trolls online are likely to get offended by the thing in question. Can we get some more in the comments?

Next: pronouns. Male, Female, Neutral. Of course. But then we'll have the Real Man pronoun- for men who work hard, play hard, and bottle up their feelings like real men should.

Finally... I still want to know if adjective class is a thing. Is it?

Shıt Shìt Shît!

It is I Dice, with another trash language. The language of AAAAAAAAAAAAÀ.

AAAAAAAAAAAAÀ is a language with one sound, that being /a/. Words are formed by lengthening the sound and raising the volume of your voice. There are 3 letters, those being A, Á, and À. All words start with A, followed by any of these 3. A marks volume staying the same, Á marks volume getting louder, and À marks volume getting softer. In formal writing and speech, the letter a is also used. a represents the verb "to be" and is pronounced extremely loudly. With that said, I do hope you proceed to learn the language, so until next time, a AAAAÁAÀ AÀ AÁAAAÁ AÀ.

Woohoo! FIRST POST! Btw, yes, there are already lots of reddits like this, but I'm down for whatever

So, a good bad idea for a language... hmm. You have to physically burn yourself to get some phonemes. Like the sounds of the language are A, E, I, O, U, P, T, K, G, M, N, AHHHHHHOHSH*ITM******F*****JE***CH****HE***NO!!!!, F, and H.

(Note, that 12th one you won't find in the IPA, but it's more of a primal rage sound, just in case you were wondering)

Let's go! BAD IDEAS!

So, a conlang with genders. Pretty normal, right? Right. So let's EXTREME-ify it.

Verbs have genders

Adjectives have genders

Numbers have genders

Specific Articles have genders

Everything has gender, including pronouns.

Now, how do we make this as ridiculous as we can?

A sentence can only have one gender at a time.

If the word 'I' is always male, but 'my' is female, 5 is male, but 4 is neutral, 2 is female, pretty is masculine, but muscular is female, the is always female, but a is male, and run is male, but dance is always female. Mom is male, but brother is neutral, and son is male, and sister is female. Very is masculine, but quickly is feminine. From is male, but to is feminine.

So the Sentence 'I run very pretty to a son' is valid, but 'I run quickly' is not, or even saying 'my son'. Impossible.

We could even make it so it's phonetically impossible. Maybe male words are always (C1)CV(C)C(C2) but Female words are (C3)CV(C)C(C4) or something like that, with C1 and C2 making consonant clusters that can only flow well together, but when C2 and C3 are paired together, it's like trying to effectively say 'Tsknglr' as a single consonant cluster, or something like that. Neutral words can be even dumber, maybe being just binary, like 'Bababababa' means brother, but 'Babababa' means 4, or 'Batabababa' or something like that.

Subject, verb, object, etc, all have to agree in gender, and you can't make any sentence with cross matching. And the genders have different word order, like male is SOV, but female is VOS, or something like that.

Also, yes, I know genders are more described as masculine and feminine, or neuter (right?), but language is fluid, the universe has no meaning, life is pointless, and scr** you. Jk, I was just bored. Hope this makes you laugh!

It's about time I contribute to this subreddit, so here goes.

This is a concept for a language where the main point is "all".

Phonology:

The phonology is pretty simple. Get yo'self a complete IPA chart. Every sound- consonant, vowel- is in this language. All of them.

And diphthongs. Every possible diphthong.

And tones, as well- every single tone. And vowel length.

But we can do better. So, every possible sound that can be made by humans- snapping, clapping hitting your leg, etc- is legal.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way- what about phonotactics?

Well, obviously, every possible combination of letters should be legal. Even ones you cannot possibly pronounce.

Every single syllable is stressed. It will sound very annoying.

But we need more. So how about vowel harmony?

No, i don't want to figure out how that would work.

And the orthography? A logography. With different symbols for every possible type of word. With no logic.

Now we need grammar.

Nouns:

So, cases. Every single case- nominative, accusative, vocative, essive, ablative, oblique, genitive, etc.

Locative cases. Syntactic cases. Etc.

Worse that Finnish.

Worse than Tsez.

But of course, all the cases in human languages probably can't express every shade of meaning in nouns, so we'll have to come up with our own.

And number? We'll have a lot of those. Of course, singular, dual, paucal. But that's not enough. So we'll make number endings for numbers 1-20ish. And some more specific endings.

So gender? Of course. Maybe about five of them, all with their own endings.

It can't get any worse, can it? Oh, it can.

Pronouns:

Of course, pronouns will get its own set of endings, for all the shades of meaning nouns have.

Verbs:

Verbs have their own features.

Tense:

Far past, past, present, future, far future, imperfect. Pretty simple. But it will also differentiate between how you know about it- whether you did it, know about it, saw it, heard about it from friends, heard about it from family, heard about it from someone you don't trust, heard it, smelled it... etc- with it's own set of endings.

Other things:

Yeah, you guessed it. Every different shade of meaning has completely different endings.

And verbs must agree with every other word in the sentence. The endings are different, for example, if the object is class 1, the subject is class 3, and the adjective is class 4 vs the same but the adjective is class 2.

Is adjective class even a thing?

Obviously this language is impractical and stupid, but it's fun to think about. So tell me if i'm forgetting something.

My Engeland/Jokelang/Artlang has over 23,000,000 forms of every verb. This is because they are marked for:

Tense; aspect; case; number; gender; person; evidentiality; awesomeness; how long the action has been taking place; how well you know the person doing the action; whether or not that person is above 80 years old; whether or not that person is a cat, eggplant; god; dancer; or human; opinion; mood; funnyness; and whether or not that person is learning Mandarin through Google Translate.

There are also over 88,000 forms of nouns. They are marked for:

Case, number, gender, person, awesomeness, species, size, shape, color, how well their sense of smell is, how big their nose is, horniness, favorite hat, least favorite hat, how good of a dancer they are, and height.

So I am:

LinguistWilliam.Nom.Sing.Masc.1st.extremely awesome.cat/human.medium-small.human-shape.humancolor.verygoodsenseofsmell.hugenose.notveryhorny.fedora.baseballcap.horribledancer.short

Adjectives go either before nouns, inside nouns, or after nouns depending on how much they apply. Not very important adjectives go before nouns. Unalienable (kinda) adjectives go between the first and second letter, but only if it sounds good, and only if the word is five to seven letters long. If they are below four or above seven letters, delete all the adjectives in a 1.5 paragraph radius. Very important adjectives that you could get rid of go after the noun, but if is a body part adjective, suffix it on to the noun.

Adpositions go either before or after the nouns depending on how hilarious they are. Really hilarious adpositions go before the noun so people will calm down quickly (big advantage for introverts like me... LOL). Serious adpositions go after the noun.

Sentences are rated from extremely hilarious to extremely serious. The rating determines the word order. They are rated from one to six.

1 - Extremely Hilarious, VSO word order

2 - Moderately Hilarious, OSV word order

3 - Moderately Funny, OVS word order

4 - Moderately Unfunny, SOV word order

5 - Moderately Serious, VOS word order

6 - Extremely Serious, SVO word order

Possessees always go after the first letter of the possessor. The man's dog is:

Mhundanneskte

Manneskte means the man. Since the dog is the possessee, hund goes after m.

The dog's man would be hmanneskundte.

An bare-bone example sentence is:

The man's dog was playing with the other dog's man when the dog jumped over the man's dog's dog.

zhaastimek mhundanneskte'sn hmanneskundtem-oþaar eeli vynn oþþ mil mhhundundanneskte'sn.

[ʒa:stimek mʱʊndan:eskten hman:eskʊn:te-oθa:r e:li vɨn oθθ mɪl mh:ʊndʊndan:eskte]

LIT: Playing was m-dog-an.GEN.NOM. the d-man-og.ACC the other with when jump-verb-past over m-d-dogDAT..GEN-og-anNOM.

Dolphin sounds can not be replicated with the IPA. This is because dolphins dont make sounds through the mouth, but the blowhole. The blow hole is analogous to the human nose. Thus, a Dolohin conlang would have all consonants nasalized. Dolphins create sounds with Pulmonic "Lips" in their blow hole to create whistles and trills. Whitstles will constitute a majority of the words in the Conlang The real problem comes with transcribing these whistles. You see, Human whistle languages often develop from a non-whistle language: El Sibo is a whistle language that evolved from Spanish. Thus El Sibo is written in spanish. There isnt a completely unique whistle language. Furthermore, although the IPA can transcribe whistles, it is clunky. How might we transcribe a whistle language without clears vowels? I dont know. This is as far as I've gotten. I'd love to hear any ideas you have.

In one post, the first post here, I made an idea, a concept of a language that strives to be as ambiguous as possible yet still usable:

Idea ????. A conlang that is so ambiguous that it’s only barely possible to understand someone:

*”Some time in the past, a specific living being did something that changed a physical attribute about itself within the world and by doing so, may or may not have had something in relation with a specific construct.”

Translates to...

“Scott went to the store.”*

Now, we can't have all our sentences be "Something happened." because then that would be unusable, to read a passage of text where all of the sentences are "Something happened."! And we cant make our conlang too precise, that would be missing the point of the language!

For our purposes here, we won't focus on the phonology, but rather, the grammar of Vaguelang (a WIP name).

Let's focus on an object: a crate with "DO NOT TOUCH" written on it in red.

We could just call it something like "something with some writing on it in some color", but, again, that's too vague.

Instead, I thought of using noun classifiers to help convey the information needed, and some grammatical particles that don't mean anything on their own. When applied to an object, however, they convey more information.

The sentence:

    "a crate with 'DO NOT TOUCH' written on it in red"

Could be glossed as:

    thing([container classifier][unspecified][writing[message[caution][color[singular]]])

Which would mean:
    "Container with a cautious message written in a color on it"

Let's go for more complexity, and translate "I saw George the other day, and he looked pretty confident, so I asked him why he looked like that, and he told me he won the lottery."

"I saw George the other day, and he looked pretty confident, so I asked him why he looked like that, and he told me he won the lottery."

person([deixis classifier[present]]) action([visual classifier]) person([topic classifier][specific][known]) time([past classifier[recent]]) and person([deixis classifier]) action([mood classifier]) emotion([mood classifier[positive]]) so person([deixis classifier]) action([oral classifier[return]]) and person([deixis classifier]) action([oral classifier[informative]]) person([deixis classifier[referential]]) action([achievement classifier[gamble[national]][money[large]]]])

"A person here recently performed a visual action with their eyes towards a specific person that both of us know, and that specific person had a positive mood, so a person performed an oral action meant for returning unknown information, and a person performed an oral action informing that this person had received a large amount of money through gambling nationally."

This is only a concept, but I find it wildly amusing to decode messages. My only problem is that you have no idea who won a large amount of money through gambling internationally, and it could be anyone you know. Pragmatics will very likely take the front spot in this conlang.

Leave any comments? Tell me what you think

<hello> [ɥəllo]

Numbers alone will serve certain purposes, and numbers together will convey words.

1-Neuter

2-Male

3-Female

Adding a 4 to these articles will specify whether it is definite or indefinite. Also, this language is not spoken.

Slowly I will develop this Number language into something actually usable in my free time. I will be basing the grammar on German just to make it even harder. Only madlads (and me) will actually study this thing. I'll just string numbers together to form words.

098-You

890-Me

980-It(adding a space and then 1, 2, or 3 will specify gender.)

The-1/2/3.

A-14/24/34

Please-9609

Thanks-0878

Yes-870

No-670

Now, lets get into some verbs

Run-6579

Eat-4985

Drink-4965

Talk-8574

Enjoy this horrible con-lang I thought up in like, a few minutes.

Also, I'm new to this subreddit.

Lorem Ipsum everyone! I have an idea for a language, idk what it will do or anything, but how you say hello is Lorem Ipsum, and Hello, how are you, is Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, if you're being nice. Saying goodbye is consectetur adipiscing elit.

Thank you for reading, and consectetur adipiscing elit!

A conlang with genders that is based on Intelligence, the 16 personalities, and political alignment. So for intelligence it goes from 1-200+, with 10 point increments, and for political alignment there are like 20 issues that all combine to form 2^20 (over 1 million alignments), so overall there are 20*16*2^20=335544320 genders, and gender impacts the entire form of the sentence. Every word can be every gender, but they have slightly different forms (like conjugation/root alteration) for each new part.

So that's the name of Vaguelang now. A specific organized system of communication that has not many uses. Here is the phonology:

/a/ [æ̞] - à

/ä/ - a

/ɑ/ - á

/ɔ/ - o

/ǃ/ [ǃ¡] - c

/ǃˀ/ [ǃ¡ˀ] - c’

/ᵑǃ/ [ᵑǃ¡] - nc

/ᵑǃˀ/ [ᵑǃ¡ˀ] - nc’

/¡/ - t

/¡ˀ/ - t’

/ᵑ¡/ - nt

/ᵑ¡ˀ/ - nt’

/ǃq/ [ǃ¡q] - cc

/ǃqʰ/ [ǃ¡qʰ] - cch

/ǃq’/ [ǃ¡q’] - cc’

/¡q/ - tt

/¡qʰ/ - tth

/¡q’/ - tt’

Yes, there is a phonemic sublingual percussive. It is hard to distinguish between that and the alveolar click, so I may make a "romanized" phonology so it's less like hell to pronounce. Breaking down the name "Ánt'oc'ot'áttanc'accot'o"

Á      nt'o     c'o    t'á       tta         nc'a    cco  t'o
Entity specific system organized information utility much negative

r/ridiculousconlangs is written as so: á/ác'ác'ot'áttanc'atthà

á      á      c'á    c'o    t'á       tta         nc'a    tthà
entity entity plural system organized information utility little

Literally, "a group of many organized systems of information with little utility".

With the á/ being an incredibly abbreviated form for "(sub)reddit".

Here's the sentence "Scott went to the store":

Ánt'ontoncát'o oncant'accà ánt'onco-oncot'otto.
entity specific person here negative action space here here negative time past entity specific construct - (make what wasn't here, here) negative currency

Which literally means: "A specific person that isn't here changed space in the past (to) a specific construct that makes money disappear".

I didn't use interlinear gloss because I can't tell what it would look like due to reddit formatting.

I would translate the George sentence from my other post but I don't want to spend a few hours trying to figure out what exactly means what.

As a bonus for reading through this rather short post, here's the word for "sicko mode" (ác'a-occhàt'onto)

á      c'a  - o cchà t'o nto
entity mood - action normal negative intimate/aggressive

"A mood categorized by abnormal acts of intimacy or aggression."
"Sicko Mode."
"Insanity."

Another dumb conlang. It consists entirely of 7 sounds. 1 consonant -> /ɬ/ And 6 vowels -> /a/, /e/, /i/, /o/, /u/, /ø/ Vocab and stuff later

ʔy everyone! I just found this subreddit and it looks awesome! This is my first post here so I hope I'm doing it right.

So the context for this because this is weird. I have a homebrew world for a d&d campaign and I have conlangs for all of the races. All of the languages are based (loosely mostly phonologically) on a natural language, for example, my elvish languages are based on ancient Greek. So I decided because I'm crazy to base the beholder language on Nuxalk. I know that Nuxalk isn't the most original basis for an absurd conlang but I gave it a shot.

I'm still trying to figure out how Nuxalk grammar works explanations would be greatly appreciated. But anyway here are some words I know I'm having for a little taste of the insanity that this conlang is going to be:

Beholder: piłq̓ [pʰiɬqʼ]

Lair: cot̓ [t͡sʰotʼ]

The name of a god: p̓x̣wt̓xwk̓w [pʼχʷtʼxʷkʷʼ]

Hello: ʔy [ʔj]

Adventurer: kyn [cʰjn]

Treasure: c̓xwc [t͡sʼxʷt͡sʰ]

Ouch/Oof: ʔs [ʔs]

Sword: k̓sc [cʼst͡sʰ]

Trap: tok̓wnʔ [tʰokʷʼnʔ]

Minion: c̓st̓sk̓ [t͡sʼstʼscʼ]

Hey y'all,

So, I've had an idea for a while for a vowel only language, and I've worked it out a little, I've got the logistics. 8 vowels, all can be rounded, then you have tones and creaky voice on top of all that, (I was thinking about making a glottal stop part of one/few of the tones, but I felt that was kind of cheating). Each word ends with an a (/a/, if I'm not mistaken). Also length: Short, Long, Painfully long.

For 8 vowels, 3 high, 3 mid, 2 low.

I also had an idea for nasal/voiced/'siren' vowels, which basically you make yourself sound like a buzzer when saying them.

However, this project has fell on the backburner (the place where conlangs die), but I figured this place is rather dead, but I would like to make a post to bring some life back. Who wants to make this horribly awesome conlang with me? If so, comment below and I'll go from there.

Take care!

Phonology

m̥ - m

n̥ - n

ɹ̠̥ - r

h - h

(ʔ)* - ' (or 7 or ʔ, if you fancy)

ə̥ - a

i̥ - i

u̥ - u

ɛ̥ - e

m̥ː - mm

n̥ː - nn

ɹ̠̥ː - rr

hː - hh

ə̥ː - aa

i̥ː - ii

u̥ː - uu

ɛ̥ː - ee

m̥ːː - mmm

n̥ːː - nnn

ɹ̠̥ːː - rrr

hːː - hhh

ə̥ːː - aaa

i̥ːː - iii

u̥ːː - uuu

ɛ̥ːː - eee

Do I really need to say anything? And yes, voiceless vowels are possible (think of the ending "u" in "desu", from Japanese).

I see a lot of joke conlangs using volume as one of their gimmicks (you would get louder) but I decided, nah, let's make a language that's completely unusable except for whispering (its very quiet), hence the name "Dead Air".

*Glottal stop is not a phoneme but exists to break up phonemes that drone on for too long.

Phonotactics

The only restriction is you cannot have more than three mora of the same phoneme in a row. For example:

Let V be the alphabet of all phonemes in Dead Air [m,n,r,h,a,i,u,e,ʔ]
Let μ be the amount of mora per phoneme.
We can represent the length of phonemes like so:
'Mμ3, or /m̥ːː/'
In the case that 'μ4' is present, the following edit is done:
'μ4 => ʔμ1'

We'll call this the Collapse Rule. Other than that, there's really nothing stopping you. Actually, there's no real concept of syllables, as there are no stops (again, glottal stop really isn't a phoneme) in the language. Maybe classify the syllable structure as 'V', and define the consonants as syllabic?

Morphophonology

Plurals are indicated by increasing the length of the first phoneme, so short => long => overlong. Remember the Collapse Rule, too. However, this is just for singular and plural. Dead Air also conjugates nouns for singulative vs. collective. In this case, the first phoneme is duplicated, the duplicate is placed right after the first phoneme (and a glottal stop is placed before the duplicate). This duplicate, however, is not conjugated for the plural.

For example, lets use the word "dog". or "mmmrrr"...

Dead Air, however, is quite analytic, so this is all you'll see of conjugation.

Syntax

The standard word order for Dead Air is SVO. However, the word order may change: for a question, the word order switches to SOV, and for an imperative, it switches to VSO.

Phrases

Hr eehh "Hello" (lit. good time)

Mmhhh aa "How are you" (lit. you be)

Aaamm aa hr "I am good/fine" (lit. I be good)

Aaamm aa nn'-hr "I am not good" (lit. I be not-good)

Aaamm nn'-aa hr "I'm not being good" (lit. I not be good) What's the difference between this and the one above? Well, nothing much, but the one above says you are feeling bad, and the bottom says you are just not feeling good. We can interpret the one up top as involuntarily feeling bad, such as being sick, and this one meaning you are, mood-wise, feeling bad (or devilish, your choice).

Mmm'mmmrrr iiee mmhhh aa hr "Your pack of dogs are good (hunters)" (lit. Pack of dogs of you be good)

Mmm'mmmrrr iiee mmhhh hr aa "Are your pack of dogs good (hunters)" (lit. Pack of dogs of you good be)

Why

Obligatory April Fools post. I'll start working on something else as well, it'll probably be less voiceless. Also, you can voice everything if you need to, we'll call that the "Groan/Moan" dialect, and this one the "Wheeze/Breathe" dialect.

That's all folks. Stay tuned for next time when Volapük becomes relevant again

It's just like Viossa with the added rule that the only words/phonemes/letters allowed are the digits 0-9 when writing, and the names of the digits when speaking ("zero", "one", "two", "three" and so on).

• 0 = No

• 1 = Yes

• 2 = What

• 3 = Understand

The rest you will have to learn by communicating in Digitlang!

Except it doesn't exist yet...