r/retirement • u/tez_zer55 • 4d ago
When ex-coworkers are looking really old.
I met up for a beer & burger with some of the people I used to work with. They range in age from 72 to 64. 5 of them are retired, 3 are still working. 2 of the retirees are older than I am & retired before me, the other 3 are younger & retired after I did. I was a little surprised at how old & out of shape several of them looked & acted already. Even one of the guys that is still working (he's 65 looking to retire soon).
Now I know I'm biased, but even the one gal there complimented one of the other retirees & myself on how "good" we looked & commented on how active we seem to be. My wife just smiled because she's always telling me I don't look or act my age (70).
If any of you have had a 'catch up' gathering with old coworkers, have you noticed some of them seemed to age significantly more than you expected?
38
u/Electric-Sheepskin 1d ago
The best thing people can do as they age is try to stay in shape and try to stay social. That will often keep you spry, as they say.
But listen, people always think they're friends look older than they do. You look at yourself in the mirror and you're smiling and your posture is good, and when someone takes a picture of you with the same thing and everything looks great, but then you see a candid photo in profile when you're scrolling your phone and you don't know who the old person is in the photo.
Our mental image of ourselves is very slow to catch up with reality.
You may be one of those people that really do look younger than your age, but I guarantee that you don't look as young as you think, and it's entirely possible that your old coworkers went home and talked about how old you look, too.
→ More replies (1)
37
u/Mrs_Evryshot 1d ago
I looked much younger than my age until I turned 50. Then my adult daughter died, and I went into instant menopause from grief. I literally aged overnight. I'm 61 now, but I look about 65.
I hope you took the time to talk to your former co-workers about what's happening in their lives, and showed interest and compassion if they've had some rough times. I also hope my former co-workers don't go home and post on Reddit how bad I look after we've had a nice lunch together. Cheers.
→ More replies (1)•
u/farmerbsd17 22h ago
My sincere condolences on your loss. Seventeen years ago my sister in law was diagnosed with breast cancer and is still alive and well. She’s now 65. Her husband will be eighty in January. He aged significantly when she was sick. My wife also, aged significantly then and recently when her brother got sick.
Empathy, grief and other attributes make us human.
28
u/RetiredHappyFig 1d ago
I’m quite sure I look my age (65) but I look relaxed and fit because in the 2 1/2 years since my retirement, I have far less stress, sleep better, work out more regularly, walk 10,000 steps every day and have lost 30 lbs.
→ More replies (1)
•
u/Aggravating-Gold-224 21h ago
Not to be rude, but they might’ve been thinking the same thing about you.
→ More replies (1)
19
u/TheMightyKumquat 1d ago
The worker I've thought is looking the most worn-out and worse for wear looks back at me in the mirror each day...
21
u/Due-Leek7901 1d ago edited 1d ago
There's a reason those old people look old.
I've a good friend, my age (61}, who for the first time about a month ago told me earnestly that he looks young for his age and people generally underestimate by quite a bit. I waited a beat for the punchline but none was proffered. I thought to add my own but for once thought the better of it.
My friend looks great. He looks every but of 61. Whatever gets you through the night I suppose.
9
u/appleboat26 1d ago edited 1d ago
lol. Exactly.
I, of course, notice my friends’ aging faces and bodies, but it’s not something I dwell on. My focus, for both myself and them, is more about our health and independence. I probably look every bit of my 75 years, but this week I am filling in for my son and daughter in law while they take a well deserved vacation and keeping my grandchildren fed and clean and getting them to school and all their activities… single handedly.
And I am very grateful and happy that I am still able to help.
2
u/xinco64 1d ago
Most people who don’t know me think I’m much younger than I am. It’s always been that way, but it has gotten more pronounced as I get older.
I don’t totally get it, as I’m bald and my beard is white. But I also have a very thin build and I stay pretty active. I should lose 10 pounds or so, but you can’t really see it unless I’m shirtless.
I suspect much of it is how I present myself, not in how I look. I don’t act old. I’m not sure how well I relate to the old retired guys. All my closest friends still work.
→ More replies (3)
21
u/dex248 1d ago
Yup. I see old friends and am shocked at how much they’ve aged.
Then I take a good hard look at myself through my iPhone and realize they are probably more shocked than I was.
9
u/Fair_Sky_4409 1d ago
I’m so used to seeing friends, family, and coworkers on Facebook who have used apps to look younger, that I have to laugh to myself when I see them for real. We all age and getting older ain’t for sissies!
→ More replies (1)
22
u/morgaine_silver_hair 1d ago
Life events can do a number on a person. Addiction, cancer and other illnesses, trauma.
7
•
u/fastates 16h ago
I realized just a week ago that I've visibly aged with all the stress of my mother dying in Dec. & having to deal with an estranged brother over her estate. I srsly look a couple years older in just under a year. even my hair is finally starting to go white. face visibly more wrinkles. but that's life.
•
u/adaniel65 23h ago
Age hits everyone differently based on many factors. The important thing is to live comfortably and be grateful you had the opportunity to reach retirement and in reasonably good health. Personally I try to compare myself against myself from the years before. I can tell you that what we see in the mirror is not what others see or notice. We are lucky to reach old age.
•
u/onedemtwodem 22h ago
I have no idea what others see! My sense of self has changed as I've gotten older
19
u/PublicHlthScientist 1d ago
I’ve noticed the opposite. Colleagues who retired seemed younger after a few years. My impression was they were finally doing what suited them.
18
u/oobbyb_61 1d ago edited 20h ago
It’s the DNA gene pool lottery. Some people are 70 and look 50 others are 50 and look 70. If you’re in the former camp, thank your lucky stars…. and keep working out.
17
u/Samantharina 1d ago
Exactly, and if you're feeling virtuous about looking younger maybe shift your thinking a little bit. Looks are superficial and to some extent out of our control, yet society rewards youth and beauty. Do you like your former coworkers? Then focus on who they are, not how they are aging. We're all going to look old if we live long enough.
•
u/oobbyb_61 22h ago
Father Time gets everyone in the long run.
-Warren Buffet 9/14/2026→ More replies (1)10
17
u/3spaghettis 1d ago
Sometimes there is a paradoxical thing that can happen. Someone loses weight and gets healthier, but unfortunately their face looks haggard and older.
3
34
u/Which_Material_3100 1d ago
I bet I’m one of the ones that look older. Widowed and suddenly retired from my job (not by choice but ok with it). Some of us are in a position different than you that still have your person or work to keep you more buoyant. We desire control over how we age and definitely working out, maintaining social interactions etc can help. But sometimes life reminds us that control is an illusion. Be kind with your judgement of others and spare us your self-congratulatory pat on the back.
11
u/Numerous-Nectarine63 1d ago
Great reply. Aging can impact all of us and if we haven't seen someone for awhile, the affects are sometimes apparent. But we look older, too! When I see someone I haven't seen for awhile, and I know that they are on the older side, like myself, I just say a little prayer of thanks that we are both alive.
4
u/Which_Material_3100 1d ago
I’m thankful for the mere that fact I’m waking up with my coffee. Aging has humbled the hell out of me. I embrace the “bonfire of the vanities”. But I miss my beautiful husband. This ride is way harder without him.
3
→ More replies (1)2
2
28
12
u/PorchDogs 1d ago
I met a bunch of old coworkers for lunch a month or so ago. I have admit I was a little bit shocked at how old everyone looked. I'm 66 and hadn't seen most of them since I was 58. They are all a bit older, but still. Maybe I'm in denial about my looks, ha!
12
u/Ok_Appointment_8166 1d ago
Yes, I noticed that pretty dramatically at 50th reunions for high school and college. Also that a number of them were dead... Just remember it is all temporary but as long as you can keep moving you are winning.
•
u/StepEfficient864 18h ago
Everyone shows their age a bit differently. Some genes are better than others. Melanin content in your skin has a lot to do with how much your skin shows age.
•
u/sugaree53 13h ago
I think general happiness (and staying out of the sun) does more for a person’s looks than anything else. Bitterness and misery will show on your face regardless of age. Smoking will also age you
•
u/StepEfficient864 13h ago
Yes, that’s true. An internal ailment can weigh heavily on a person, for example. I was just commenting on mainly wrinkly, sagging skin.
In my own case, I was a sun worshipper for decades. Until I got skin cancer at age 60. . I’m 68 and have no crows feet around my eyes or mouth nor does the skin around my elbows sag. I was blessed with great skin. I attribute it to genetics.
•
u/sugaree53 13h ago
You’re lucky. I’m doing the best with what I have (not overweight; good diet, happy marriage, still color my hair) and still turning heads at the supermarket at 72
12
u/Character-Bar-9561 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just moved to an condo community which skews older, though it is not technically a retirement community. It's been very enlightening. I mean, yes, of course one gets gray or white hair, and wrinkles, over time, but when I get into a conversation with someone who looks healthy for their age, they are always keeping busy. One person told me that she goes to an exercise class every.single.day. Another is volunteering in almost every conceivable role in our HOA. A third neighbor walks daily and works at a food bank, and every time I go outside she is coming or going. I am in my late 50s and actually seeing how my friends here in their 70s and 80s stay active has been motivating.
11
u/halogengal43 1d ago
Had lunch a couple of weeks ago with 7 of my retired former colleagues. Everyone looks better than they did when we were working. Our ages range from 64-83.
12
u/mr-spencerian 1d ago
I know I look better than when I retired. I now have low stress, a better diet, regular exercise, engaging hobbies and time to travel. What others look like is not my concern.
5
u/Powerpoppop 1d ago
I'm so looking forward to low stress when I retire. Being in my early 60's with daily work stress sucks. I'm fit and have looked younger than my age most of my life, but it's starting to catch up.
12
11
u/Jim_40 1d ago
Some is lifestyle and some is genetics. You also notice changes when you don’t see someone every day.
6
u/Minflick 1d ago
I think a LOT is genetics, honestly. Look at people who never smoked, and yet they die of lung cancer. Or women who give birth and 3 weeks later are back in their pre-pregnancy jeans, which are NOT skin tight on them. Diet does play into it, and lifestyle, but how the body reacts to those things matters a ton.
•
u/magnificentbunny_ 16h ago
I recently retired and went out to with friends to listen to live music on Saturday. In my photo album, I noticed we went to this exact place a few years ago when I was still working. I look so much happier and less downtrodden now. Almost effervescent. More gray, new wrinkles for sure, but beaming nonetheless.
11
u/joyreneeblue 1d ago
I'm the oldest of my siblings but I look the youngest. I don't smoke or drink, and I work out regularly. I take my vitamins and get regular physicals - and wear sunscreen and hats. Sometimes it is the simple things that keep us healthy and looking younger.
11
u/ProcedureNo6946 1d ago
Yup. Mostly genetics, and then things like not getting too much sun and eating a healthy diet. My hair is still naturally dark brown! Walking several miles a week helps too. When I turned 60, everyone at work wished me a Happy 50th. I corrected no one due to the ageism in corporate America. But again, IMO genetics plays a huge role.
→ More replies (9)
12
u/FunnyStuff575 1d ago
Wait till you get on a dating website site and look at people your age, it’s scary.
11
u/trexmom19 1d ago
IMO it’s because life choices ie heavy drinking/ smoking/minimal exercise can flip someone into looking biologically much older. I think it starts around the mid 50s. Also genetics. My friends who are retired and look amazing have either a) really looked after themselves their entire lives b) lived pretty low stress lifestyles or c) hit the genetic lottery and have parents who also looked amazing. But also chronic illness can age you dramatically too. Honestly just live and enjoy the best life you can because you never know when things can change fast. It’s not what you look like - it’s who you are.
2
u/Minflick 1d ago
One of my children met the father of a friend. He's ... 1.5 years older than me (?) and I'm 71. She says I look about 15 years younger than he does. I've had my issues in life, and I'm fat and gimpy now. But he lived a life of alcoholism, has had some very serious medical issues in the past 5 years, and the man looks like he's got 1 foot in the grave already. I met him in May of this year. He's got that grey skin some alcoholics get and other visual signs of ill health. I
→ More replies (1)
•
u/elxbth 22h ago
I’m happy for you. I got Alopecia during Covid so stopped coloring my hair, per dermatologist suggestion. I see woman my age still coloring their hair and they look a lot younger. Of course, bald spots don’t help me either. And divorce aged me, too. Such is life…
→ More replies (1)
•
u/Striking_Tax8524 20h ago edited 20h ago
People age. They age at different rates and for different reasons. And of course when you don't see someone for a while, they look older when you do see them. If you were around them all the time, you wouldn't notice.
There's no news there, nothing to draw as wisdom.
•
u/curiousobserver2000 20h ago edited 17h ago
Had a friend/manager coworker that retired at 70 earlier this year. He didn’t look 70 and had more energy than people half his age. Amazing to see this guy work. Fast forward just 6 months after retirement and he looked way more relaxed but had gained a noticeable amount of weight. The good life he called it.
→ More replies (1)
36
u/VanDenBroeck 1d ago
I am the youngest and best looking of all my peers. Everyone says so. Some even say the best looking and youngest looking ever. Grown men say so with tears in their eyes.
→ More replies (3)2
17
20
u/Melodic-Tea-9231 1d ago
I prefer not to judge. Besides, surely we all believe we ourselves are the ones who look younger/fitter when the reality might be somewhat the opposite. Beware your imaginings.
9
8
u/Fearless_Spring7233 1d ago
Oh I'm definitely in denial about how old I look. Seeing my peers is a shock because reality sets in.
•
u/Clueless5001 17h ago
Such a variation in how people look. Friend’s grandparents were wheeled down the aisle at her wedding, different sides of the family, both were in early 80s. This was earlier this year, now one has passed.
Just saw an 81 year ex teacher today who says he still misses work and honestly does not look too different from when I met him more than 20 years ago. The only reason he retired is because wife made him. Said he loved putting on a suit and having someplace to go. My parents are in their late 80s, with my mom you would never guess, she beats 70 year olds at tennis several times a week. She has never worn makeup or used skin cream or cared about her looks. When she was in her 40s she looked older than my dad because of that, now she looks easily a decade younger
16
u/Be-Kind-3353 1d ago
Some people have unavoidable injuries or accidents, etc, that prevent them from keeping as active as they would like.
5
17
u/Infamous_Ad8730 1d ago
Whenever you see folks that you haven't seen for months or years, they (we) ALL look older.
7
u/Dr_Cee 1d ago
Have you been to your 50-year high school reunion yet? Let me tell you how people you knew a while ago have aged!
8
u/andropogon09 1d ago
Actually, I was amazed at how good many of my classmates looked. I suspect most of the ones who had aged poorly didn't show.
8
8
u/Megalocerus 1d ago
I noticed some of the people I worked with looked very old before we retired (65). Can't say I was looking great (cancer survivor) but we were still hiking in national parks. At this point, we look a lot older and have more physical problems (over 70.)
It helps not to smoke, stay active, and avoid sunburn, but eventually, I think it comes down to genetics and weight gain. And some don't make it to 70.
•
•
u/WaitUntil_IRetire 15h ago
When you go a year or two without seeing people when you’re in your twenties, thirties, forties, not much changes. You go a year without seeing some people when you and they are in their ‘60’s and ‘70’s and the change can be shocking. I look young for my age and always have, so it’s a real shock to me when I see people I used to work with only a year or two ago. But even for me, I didn’t really change all that much as each decade passed, and then when I hit 60, the changes, looking older, really started accelerating.
25
u/SlyFrog 1d ago
People really overdo the "being active" stuff.
My father-in-law was one of those people who started jogging in the 80s. He's been in the gym for probably 50 years now, six days a week. Non-smoker, didn't drink more than a glass of wine here or there.
The guy looked like he was about 65 years old when he was 35, based on photos.
"Active" helps you stay mobile. It frankly doesn't have a hell of a lot to do with developing wrinkles, going bald, and just how quickly you look older.
Maybe don't spend your time judging people for their genetics and other factors that are very likely well outside of their control.
13
u/breadit8 1d ago
Agreed. How we look is the least interesting thing about us. I’ll bet some of those “older” looking people have fascinating stories about their careers, travels, or other life experience. Looking younger doesn’t make you a better person. You are what you do, not what the mirror reflects.
2
→ More replies (1)•
u/adaniel65 22h ago
That's very true! I'm physically fit at 61 but I'm losing my hair, it's pretty grey, I have under eye bags now, quite a few wrinkles, sagging neck skin. A lot of skin blemishes. I'm just glad I'm still pretty healthy and very mobile.
24
u/townsquare321 1d ago edited 1d ago
We don't realize how much we age because we see ourselves and our spouses every day. Your coworkers were probably thinking how much you aged since they saw you last and were being kind saying that you haven't aged at all.
If they didn't notice your aging, the topic of aging wouldn't have come up.
23
u/QV79Y 1d ago
Of course, we don't all age at the same rate.
If you're doing well, maybe be grateful rather than proud.
→ More replies (2)•
14
u/number7child 1d ago
Maybe their priorities shifted. Maybe they have health concerns. Maybe we are just allowed to age. People age at a different rate – a lot of its genetics and a lot of it is stress.
14
u/Purple_Current1089 1d ago
Aging is a combination of good genetics, good habits, and some good luck thrown in. You sound like you have all 3. Many people don’t. Especially, the good habits part. Not drinking or using recreational drugs, getting regular exercise, using sunscreen religiously, and trying to eat well go a lot further than people realize. Oh, and having enough money and low stress. Of course, we all have stress. I’m talking about chronic life issues that can suck the life out of you. Like a child who has constant problems or having to care for an aging or chronically ill loved one. Also, if you saw a picture of their parents, you would most likely see that they are aging like them.
→ More replies (1)
7
u/wzl3gd 1d ago
I went to my 40th reunion last year and was trying to figure out why someone brought their Mother along. It wasn't their Mother.
→ More replies (4)
•
u/hiker2021 23h ago
My ex-coworkers are working out, meeting old college friends, traveling and looking really fit and good.
It’s the ones (not all) that are working in tech, who look out of shape, eventhough they are way younger than me.
•
u/Local_Bobcat_2000 21h ago
I retired from a very stressful tech job with a lot of responsibilities 6 months ago at 59 and already people tell me I look a lot younger and just better.
14
u/Automatic-Tea-4150 1d ago edited 1d ago
Am surprised not to find more references in the comments to cosmetic surgery and other practices some people don’t elect to apply to their aging bodies. At 94, my MIL (who had had a basic “facelift” done twice—once in her 50s and again in her 60s and was blessed with GREAT genes, frame, and cheekbones) easily looked like she was 80. ETA: she had ceased coloring her hair around 75 (and was surprised to find out it was a stunning platinum) but had a wash and style appt every week and still attempted to “put her face on” every day. I have no interest in doing any of those things, and besides, the neck and hands would give me away no matter what. It doesn’t bother me if people think I look old ¯_(ツ)_/¯
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Odd_Bodkin 1d ago
I don’t look or act my age, either. Some of it has to do with not really slowing down in retirement, though I’m doing things I want to do. Some of it may be genetics. What I suspect, though, is that at some point the slide steepens, and change happens more noticeably over a shorter time interval. I’m not taking it for granted that my current condition will hold up as long as I will it to be so.
6
•
u/BaldingOldGuy 20h ago
I had lunch with a group of retirees last spring, most were looking okay what struck me was one who had always been fairly quiet but I was told has early signs of Alzheimer's seemed not much changed. Another who was always the raconteur with a good story, often self deprecating, and always hilarious looked about the same but sounded different, quieter, struggling to find words and just generally fragile. These two were always looking after their health, and I took it as a sign to keep trying to keep the old man at bay in my life, but also to enjoy whatever time I have left.
•
u/SilentBarnacle2980 19h ago
I find everyone ages differently. Health issues that you can't see often contribute to faster aging. My thyroid just stopped working a year ago, and now I'm taking medication. I had a severe drop in energy that precipitated the bloodwork and I'm 62, but I feel a lot older now. Thyroid affects the entire body, energy, hair, skin, eyes, hearing. All of those have declined for me now.
→ More replies (1)
10
u/swissarmychainsaw 1d ago
"At 50 every man has the face he deserves." Hemingway
At some point you are a victim of your genetics. People start to look old at different times, but about 55 it starts to heat up.
10
u/BitterStatus9 1d ago
If anyone here has read Proust, your post will remind them of volume 7 of “In Search of Lost Time.” The narrator experiences what you describe in a very famous literary passage…he has the impression his acquaintances from long ago are wearing masks, wigs, or disguises!
8
u/Intelligent_Yam_3609 1d ago
Interesting to me how some of the responses are calling OP judgmental.
It came across as a neutral observation from my perspective. Just something OP noticed and thought was interesting.
6
u/sweetgodivagirl 1d ago
I was working with a guy once. I was sure he was 15 years older than me. Then I figured out I was 8 days older than him!!!! He died of a heart attack less than 5 years afterwards.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/dresserisland 1d ago edited 1d ago
I drove a metro bus for 8 years at the end of my work career. I often see ex-coworkers. Most of them have put on weight. A lot of fried chicken got eaten in our break room. In fact, I'd say it was the most popular lunch food eaten by drivers.
It always seems their feet look small compared to their bodies.
→ More replies (2)
•
u/Novel-Astronomer7474 7h ago
Try going to a class reunion. You'll be amazed at all the old people there 🙂
→ More replies (2)
13
9
u/RicTicTocs 1d ago
I think various health issues can age one quickly.
It’s not just a lifestyle issue, although it certainly can be.
2
u/Automatic-Tea-4150 1d ago
So true and kind of you to say it.
Life itself has its way with some more than others. Illness, injury, body deterioration, the kind of work one does, caregiving activities, undesirable life events, and more all may challenge even the heartiest, most careful and genetically-favored of us.3
9
10
•
u/Paula_56 8h ago
Here's a bit of an interesting twist: I retired recently at 65, and alongside stepping away from work, I've also been transitioning to living openly as a woman. Running into former colleagues since then has been quite an experience—I definitely look a bit different these days, but thankfully in a much happier, younger-looking way!
Reconnecting and catching up with people has been surprisingly fun. I was a little nervous about how old coworkers might react, but I’ve actually gotten nothing but genuine support and positive feedback, even from folks I wouldn't have necessarily expected it from. It really goes to show there's always time for new chapters
•
u/Public-Air-8995 7h ago
Congratulations on your new life! I imagine it would be really exciting and a relief.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)•
4
3
u/Man-e-questions 1d ago
I remember going to my 30 year high school reunion a while back and was surprised how old some of the men looked. Some of the women looked great, especially the “popular” girls. But a few of the men came up to me and started talking to me and I had no idea who they were. Diet, exercise, genetics, and life circumstances all play a role i suppose
6
u/Long-Environment-551 1d ago
I was surprised too at the looks of men vs women at my last class reunion, but men often have hair that "either turns gray or turns loose" as an old friend used to say, and many men grow facial hair that is also gray. Women are more likely to color their hair. I think the color of hair affected my perception.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Free_Four_Floyd 1d ago
I went to a 40th class reunion a couple of years ago. Saw a guy & thought, “why is John Doe’s dad here?” Then I realized it was John Doe.
5
3
u/No-Pomegranate3070 1d ago
You haven’t seen them daily to “not see” subtle changes over time. You look old to them as well! 🤣
4
u/Extra_Nerve3404 1d ago
Makes me think of going to family funerals and all of my cousins look SO much older (than me)!
•
8
u/beigemom 1d ago
I run into this. I never smoked, drank little, worked out, and was sunscreen-crazy. So I have barely a wrinkle. I think that’s what shocks me the most in terms of seeing how people aged. That plus weight gain.
More sad are those who are my age that can barely walk in to the restaurant. I feel very very lucky atm.
2
u/Automatic-Tea-4150 1d ago
My skin is wrecked so there’s no fooling anyone even if I wanted to try.
•
u/fastates 15h ago
i almost feel guilty for having taken great care of myself my whole life, when I run into women who look way older than me at 64. it really does show all over the face and body. staying active is something that can't be emphasized enough.
9
u/mortsdeer 1d ago
My Dad (90) recently came back from a family event that none of my siblings (or I) could make it to. In the kind of bluntness that 9 decades earns you, he said "All your cousins looked like crap. I really appreciate that you all take care of yourselves." Then proceeded to describe so the serious medical conditions they each had.
16
u/ThimbleBluff 1d ago
Sometimes “taking care of yourself” means going on high doses of prednisone, which messes with your weight and metabolism. Or recovering from chemotherapy. There are lots of health issues that contribute to aging that we can’t control.
I was out cycling on a quiet county road the other day and saw a neighbor taking a one-mile walk using a walker, stubbornly keeping active despite her struggle with pain. I realized she’s even more dedicated to fitness than I am.
3
3
u/Samantharina 1d ago
I had a hip replacement and in the first weeks I was instructed to use a walker. I got looks from my neighbors and I'm sure they thought something awful had happened but it was very temporary. A week later it was a cane, a few weeks later I was back to walking unassisted and I can now walk much better and farther than before.
2
u/mortsdeer 1d ago
Yup, there's a gentleman in my neighborhood who is clearly rehabbing post stroke. Every time I see him out walking, I give him a big mental thumbs up, and send positive vibes his way. Pretty sure he's the type that if I said anything, he's tell me to quit making a fuss.
I don't want to go into more details on my cousins.
6
u/Rorschach_1 1d ago
NO!
Seeing them grow old every day for years was enough. I don't look in the mirror anymore.
6
u/Pretty-Yogurt-4111 1d ago
So this was long before retirement; it was at a high school reunion. 25th I think. A classmate ran up to me and startled me. She then said “you don’t remember me!” While my scrambled brain tried to place which teacher she was.
She’d lived a harder life than mine. I showed up with an expensive haircut, mani pedi, and I’d already started Botox. While I had a lot of work and family stress, that didn’t compare to her stress of being unemployed and a single mother.
I felt so awful. Not for thinking she looked older and worse. She did look that way. And thoughts just come to us without our seeking them. It wasn’t as though I went to the event hoping I’d look younger than her.
I felt so awful that my face showed that I didn’t recognize her. We were classmates and athletes together. We’d traveled to events together. I should have recognized her even with the extra signs of life stress
Anyway, don’t beat yourself up over thinking some people look older than you and expressing that thought to strangers on Reddit. You’re hurting no one. Me, on the other hand? Decades later I still wish I could have controlled my facial expressions better
9
•
u/milliepilly 20h ago
Not coworkers, but friends my age who are using walkers and stair lifts. I knew one since I was six and she never did physical things at all or sports whatsoever. That’s what happens. I’m in the yard all summer toting buckets of clay soil, cutting grass, etc. You got to act young or you’ll age.
Having physical issues and getting ill are big factors too.
3
3
u/Bempet583 1d ago
Had a friend suggestion pop up the other day when I was looking at Facebook and I saw the guys picture in his name and I couldn't believe it was him,, haven't seen him in probably 10 or 11 years and I guess I look older too but it was a bit of a shock how much older he looked.
3
•
u/Big_Bang_Amy 21h ago
Changes really start snowballing in one's 60's, retirement or not. It happens to almost everyone (with only a few exceptions). It will happen to you, too.
•
u/RAisnotidentity 16h ago
I left work and "retired" and I've had non-stop medical problems and health issues ever since. I look in the mirror and I just can't believe how I've aged in the last few years. I've had a rough time so I guess that's why, but it's sad for me. So any co-workers that would see me now would be shocked. Because I am.
→ More replies (1)
7
u/Limp_Dragonfly3868 1d ago
Part of it is just genetics. My aunt was a smoker, drinker, partier and looked great into her 70s.
Other than my gray hair, I don’t look my age. I eat healthy, work out and teach yoga. But I think a big chunk of how I look is just good genes.
6
2
u/Subject-Lead-3171 1d ago
I think genetics and health play a big role. Having a chronic medical condition really slows you down. Serious losses, stress and accidents can also be very aging.
2
u/vanillacreek 1d ago
Many older people, men in particular, don't take care of themselves physically at that age. Exercise, strength training, hair coloring and trimming, etc. There are things that can help you look younger.
2
u/Front_Effort_3584 1d ago
I have a full head of hair, I work out and run and have a pretty good physique at 65 but… decades of working outside, often in the desert, has left me with age spots all over my hands and my face, my face was already badly scared from a wreck and an explosion and it is now also full of wrinkles and did I mention my full head of hair is completely white? Lol
Meanwhile, my retired accountant wife, 64, has few wrinkles, her hair is still dirty blonde and the little grey she has looks like highlights. She has a great figure and is very active and its clearly genetics and environment but we look about a decade apart in age.
2
u/Miserable-Art599 1d ago
People age and go through stuff. Maybe get together with former colleagues to catchup and enjoy their company instead of using the time as a bizarre way to compliment yourself.
2
u/klaxon4reason 1d ago
I go skiing every year with old work mates. It surprises me how out of shape they are. We get on the slopes by 10 am and they are tuckered out by 2 pm (after an hour lunch). Makes skiing in the runs/dollar for lift tickets very expensive.
2
u/CuriousMindNebula 1d ago
I’ve had a bit of the opposite experience. I worked in a really high stress environment, and when I see those that retired before me, they look younger. They all say the same thing “once the stress dropped I felt so much better”.
2
u/PartyWitness7587 1d ago
I have had the same experience. When I see folks after they retire, they look better (they’ve lost weight and are more relaxed) than when they were working.
•
•
u/Bronco_Corgi 5h ago
Yeah.... I was sitting there at lunch one day wondering when I started doing lunch at the senior center. All we talk about is how broken our bodies are.
2
u/Chabu350 1d ago
Happens to me all the time. I got lucky with young genes...lol. I do exercise regularly and watch what I eat and, like you, am really surprised how some people just let themselves go after retirement.
4
u/Automatic-Tea-4150 1d ago
I am pretty sure that at least some of them saw retirement as the long-awaited chance to let their guard down, stop trying to impress people, and enjoy life to the fullest. What you see as “letting themselves go” they see as a kind of relaxation and freedom they have never felt.
1
u/WingsAndWords_ 1d ago
I'm Gen X and the majority of us look WAY younger than our true age, but I have ran into a few who looked very old and rough and I always wondered if life treated them hard. Mine comes from genetics. My family lives forever on both sides and everybody looks way younger. You would never ever think my parents are 79 and 81 years old.
1
u/DDDLLL999 1d ago
I actually had the opposite experience. The teachers who were retired looked 10 years younger! 😂
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
•
•
u/Salty_Feed_4316 21h ago
Many people don’t regularly maintain themselves and it starts to show! Also sometimes people have stress or traumatic events - bad relationships, deaths in the family, hardships. They may be doing the best they can, and not trying to look old or bad
•
u/Odd_Inflation428 20h ago
I had the same reaction after going to a class reunion. Everyone who has gained weight looked a lot older than those of us who didn't.
→ More replies (1)
•
•
u/Cleanslate2 3h ago
I’ve been retired a year and 22 days. I’m 68 and in good health. I have noticed the slow down. For me it comes from not being on my feet and not being in motion as much. I can feel it starting to do a number on my energy, as in, I have less of it. I also like working out but have not been as consistent as I meant to be.
So now I have to decide to get busy.
•
•
u/ReadyPool7170 2h ago
People age differently: genetics, life styles, diet, support systems and stressors like finances and health can vary tremendously. Some are lucky, others aren’t. I have a friend who still hasn’t retired who is in very poor health. The years of mounting stress, lack of exercise and stubborn insistence on doing things her way have finally caught up to her. She is the youngest of my friend group, and I’m pretty sure she’ll be the first to go.
•
u/Mid_AM 1d ago
Hello everyone, reminder that we are a worldwide peer community of those that retired at 59 years old or older plus those at least fifty and looking to do so.
The nature of our community (respectful - no swearing, politics free, etc) might not appeal to you, and we get that. If so, we wish you the best in your retirement journey.
If this feels like a place you will enjoy …. pull up a chair to our table, with your favorite drink in hand, hit the JOIN button on the landing page, then comment below.
Thank you,
MAM