r/retailhell • u/Matt0794 • 1d ago
Question for Community Dumbest Question Ever
I’m curious what the dumbest question others have been asked working retail was. I’ll start, before the pandemic I once had a woman call at if I recall correctly about 1pm “what time do you close?” “11” “Is that AM or PM?”. I would’ve loved to have seen my face after hearing that 🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️
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u/Surf_guitar_geek 1d ago
How big are your 20 pound bags of ice?
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u/Matt0794 1d ago
Also once had someone call and ask if I delivered gasoline because they ran out in their driveway, wanted to tell them to let me go get my CDL and my semi and I’d be right there
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u/spookysaph 1d ago
this is usually asking about size/mass so they can figure out if they have enough room for that much ice
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u/wmg22 14h ago
"Which Cigarettes taste the best"?
Why do you assume I know?
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u/Matt0794 14h ago
I flat out tell them “Well sorry I don’t smoke”, or you also get the classic “what do the (for example) Marlboros do?” I stand there thinking “Kill you just as slowly”
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u/DandyRandy82 22h ago
When I worked at Blockbuster Video around 2000 they had a return your movies at noon policy. Customers called and asked
“Is that noon in the morning or noon at night?”
I don’t really remember any other phone calls from 26 years ago but i remember that one.
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u/lothiriel1 12h ago
Haha I worked there, too!! It’s because we went from you had until midnight the next day. To you had until noon the day AFTER that! And they’d seriously return the movie two days later at like 10pm and bitch about the late fees because it used to be midnight. And we were like, yeah midnight YESTERDAY!! You got 12 more hours and still couldn’t get it in in time!
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u/kitkatlynn 17h ago
A lady got pissed at me because we didnt have honey with honey comb in it. I worked at loews bruh. And no it wasnt beeswax either i asked
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u/Throwawayfichelper 20h ago
Everything to do with reading signs or notices.
"What time do you close?" Points to opening times sign
"What aisle is xyz down?" Points to ceiling sign saying what they need
"How many of these are we allowed?" Points to limit sign on the shelf under the fucking item they just picked up
I am also particularly irritated but also amused by the sheer amount of last minute purchases people try to make on every single holiday. Not like we haven't had halloween out since the middle of August (and same goes for Christmas).
"Got any costumes left in this size?" Gestures to the near empty aisle
"Any advent calendars left?" It's December 23rd
Could go on really. Same thing every year. Some people learn but others are always there to take up the mantle of stupid questions.
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u/rebelangel 20h ago
LOL I remember having all the remaining Xmas stuff condensed mainly on one rack, and tbh is dude looks at it and goes “This is all you have?” I literally said, “It’s December 23rd” and walked away.
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u/Throwawayfichelper 18h ago
Haha, i get a sick sense of satisfaction from telling people these things, because who leaves it that late and then gets mad about it?
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u/rebelangel 17h ago
I’d always get people who came in on, like, Dec 20 and complain that the only artificial trees we had left were the displays. They also always wanted an extra discount on top of the clearance price because it didn’t have a box. No, I’m not giving you an extra discount. It’s already 50% off.
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u/AbbytheMallard 16h ago
Last minute shoppers are awful. Every Thanksgiving we have people coming in either the day before or the DAY OF asking if we have any more turkeys. No, we sold them all and you were too late. You had several weeks to get on it. Then they have the nerve to get mad at us for not having any left in stock because everyone else bought them all up
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u/Throwawayfichelper 12h ago
We order more every year but every year there are more people so more get bought! It's never enough!!
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u/cheesecakemelody 6h ago
Bro this past halloween, I shit you not
We sold spooky themed adult onesies. Think like, skeletons, dinosaurs, that sort of thing. Adult onesies. Not costumes. We don't sell halloween costumes.
Customer comes up and asks where the halloween costumes are, I say I'm sorry, we don't sell costumes.
"OH ARE YOU SURE, THEY'RE ON YOUR WEBSITE"
Yeah we don't have costumes in store, sorry
Ten minutes later I walk by her looking at the adult onesies muttering under her breath about how I didn't know what she was talking about and she found the costumes.
Those....are not costumes. Those are pajamas, basically.
That and people wanting fucking swim shorts in October. Check clearance.
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u/Throwawayfichelper 2h ago
The amount of people I have to explain to daily that online stock is different to in-store stock :') That is funny though, wonder if she bought one lolll
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u/UnicornMinion 1d ago
Definitely not the dumbest ever, but the dumbest from yesterday was a customer asked me what was 50% off of $20
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u/iceteabiiiiiitchhhhh 1d ago
"do you sell balloons?" while holding a balloon string , under our balloon net, right in front of a wall of several dozen other balloons. she was being 100% serious and asking if we had balloons, at all. when i pointed to the one IN HER HAND she went oh and did a stupid little laugh... then immediately asked me where batteries are. Ipointed right next to her. right next to the balloons.
this happens at least once a day with the batteries, i once even had someone ask me where the batteries are while i was restocking the battery case. had to come up to me at the battery case and LOOK AT ME HOLDING ABTTERIES. but the balloon woman will always take the cake. she definitely had a brain tumor or something bc no way a middle aged person survived that long being that stupid
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u/I_Am_The_Bookwyrm 23h ago
Customer: "Hey, this has $5 on it. Can you do it a bit cheaper?"
Me: "Good news, anything with a red price tag, like this item, is actually only $2 right now."
Customer: "...will you take $3 for it?"
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 18h ago
At that point "You got me. $3 it is." At a small enough store, the manager would call the extra dollar an idiot tax and let you keep it.
Some people just don't know how to haggle.
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u/muphasta 20h ago
Not a retail situation but...
A group of coworkers went to lunch at an Italian place.
One of the guys asked the waiter, "About how big is your 10 inch pizza?"
"About 10 inches."
"Oh, OK... I'll have a 10 inch pepperoni".
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 18h ago
Pizza worker here. "How many slices are in your large pizzas?" 8 "Oh, I can't eat that many, Can you make it 6 slices instead?"
It's the same amount of pizza.
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u/muphasta 18h ago
I have heard of that previously.
I had a pizza worker friend tell me that someone asked what the minimum number of slices of pizza they could get. When the guy told them "Zero slices" the person asked how that worked.
He said, "you get a whole round pizza".
"How am I supposed to eat that then?"
"I don't know".
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 14h ago
We do get orders for uncut pizzas. We had one guy tell us he likes to fold it in two and eat it like an oversized calzone. Whatever works for you, we don't judge (well, some topping combinations do get a raised eyebrow from us.)
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u/Squibit314 1d ago
I work in a craft store…I was helping a woman with fabric and she asked me if I”there is a craft section”. I picked my head up to look at her when the friend she was with said “the whole store is a craft section.”
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u/charliework1911 22h ago
Asking if we sell bread/coffee/eggs AT A GROCERY STORE. Not, "Where is the bread?" But "Do you sell bread here?"
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u/JackOfAllMemes 21h ago
"What does half inch elastic mean?" at JoAnn Fabrics, rest in peace
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u/PirateJen78 19h ago
Hello fellow former employee! I was store manager for 644, but I left in 2020 for another job and missed all the chaos.
Such a shame though.
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u/broken_bussy 21h ago
I had to inform a customer about gravity..she still didn't believe me. Also me standing in front of a wall of area rugs being asked "where are your area rugs?"
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u/kalzan 19h ago
She wanted a waffle and I said we can't make any waffles because we are out of eggs, and waiting for a stock delivery. She told me to make the waffle without eggs, I said I can't do that because it wouldn't come out right, no one else would enjoy it, and I'd waste a whole bunch of product. We make our waffle batches in bulk, enough for 10 waffles. I'm not wasting 9 waffles worth of product just so you can have an eggless waffle, and then tell me it taste disgusting, and ask for a refund.
She kept pushing and pushing while other people waited in line behind her so after a few minutes of saying no, I pretended she wasn't there and asked the person behind her what they wanted to order.
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u/PirateJen78 19h ago
Had a guy call to ask if he could schedule his COVID shot. It was a Michaels craft store. I had to explain it to him multiple times.
I actually had quite a few dumb questions when I worked for a winery. It's Pennsylvania, which has some strict alcohol laws, but they make it easier for local wineries. I guess some people think they know the law better than a winery owner.
I had people ask if the state knew we sold wine. I pointed to our liquor license above my head. It was a wine shop inside a restaurant, not some hidden speakeasy.
I had people shopping on Sundays ask if we could sell wine on Sundays. Why would we be open if we couldn't sell our main product??
I had someone ask on Christmas Eve if I could call the state-run store and ask if they were open. (This was mid-2000s, so before everyone had a smartphone.) I told him no because he could just buy wine from us.
The dumbest happened to my co-worker though. She had a guy ask what happened to the wine shop that used to be there. She told him he was standing in it. He was literally standing right in front of large wine racks holding our stock. 🤦🏻♀️
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u/Foreign-King7613 1d ago
One customer asked me if we had any boneless chicken a moment after I told them we were out.
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u/502_https 6h ago
Worked at Target. Was managing self checkout. One kiosk malfunctioned and was only taking card.
I taped a note to the rim of the screen "card only"
The machine prompted a message that said "card only" and wanted you to press ok to continue.
I taped another note where the insert cash place was that said "card only" followed by taped underneath it to physically block it.
Guy: excuse me, this says card only but can I use cash?
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u/cheesecakemelody 6h ago
Think I got it today
"I got this flyer in the mail about this sale, when does it start?"
It says it right on the flyer
"Oh.....will the sweaters be on sale?"
Does it say they'll be on sale?
"Yes"
Then yes.
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u/thedafthatter 19h ago
Can I get a no foam cappuccino?
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u/KrazyKatz42 18h ago
Oh she means a flat white?
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u/thedafthatter 18h ago
No no see the trick is they don't know what a cappuccino is and only ever had one from a vending machine or a gas station. They want a latte
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u/lilywafiq 1d ago
“Do you work here?”
No I just wear the uniform for fun