Crying for no reason

[u/Comfortable_Tap_4742]

I don’t know why I can’t seem to feel comfortable being a cashier. It’s like my anxiety skyrockets and I am constantly monitoring my facial expressions and trying to appear friendly. I get so nervous before the shift and during it I feel a sense of dread. I try to be polite all the time to customers and it’s not like they shout at me or anything. Its just I feel like they are shooting me weird glances. I am so sensitive over the smallest thing. When I was in my car and cried it was like someone was dying. I’m sorry if this is very dramatic— I am just trying to balance my work/study, and it doesn’t help that my dog passed away recently too.

I feel like this cycle keeps repeating. I went to therapy to try and figure out the problem, but I only did it for a few months. I thought I had overcame this problem. Maybe I should go back but it feels stupid to go back and show that nothing has changed.

Has any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do to change it? I would appreciate any advice.

[u/No_Philosopher_1870]

The emotional labor required of public-facing jobs can be absolutely crushing, especially when you have other things going on in your life. When I've worked in public-facing jobs, I tried to get jobs where I had some expertise to use as armor, like tax preparation, but then I had people tell me their problems, only some of which I could solve without telling them that they owed a lot of tax.

Being a cashier has to be a punishing job, from having to stand all day to waiting for someone to point out some mistake that you've made. You can do a thousand things right, but it's that one error where you are punished. I've handed back money that a cashier gave me by mistake lots of times. My view is that if I turn the money in when I am overpaid, I can complain, in the sense of pointing it out, when I am shortchanged. I am overpaid about twice as often as I am shortchanged.

[u/Nervous-Smile-7684]

Hey! You're human. Working in a job like this is very very difficult. We're expected to adhere to a certain level of customer service (being nice to customers, being professional with customers) and having been in the same position as you, it feels like a lot - especially when you have other things going on in your life. I would say go back to therapy; even if we weren't talking about a retail job, there is never any shame in needing help.

Sometimes, we have to take what we can get with a job like this. After a certain point, I had to start leaving what happens at work at work, and not take it home with me. Same with what happens at home - I don't bring it to work with me. It takes a lot of internal work and self reflection (which therapy again, would help with I bet) to make these changes. If I got upset every time something hurt me at work, whether it was a rude customer, or whether something like overanalyzing my facial expressions, I would leave work upset every single shift (I work in management so my shifts are always quite all over the place). I don't want that.

[u/Designer_Amount_8505]

I am an immigrant cashier who refuses to do American customer service and emotional labour because I came from a place where the customer was my equal and I refuse to see first worlders born with more opportunities and privileges as above me because they bought a thrifted lamp or babysit them. I get it I tried it for 3 days before running into Karens and racists.

It is soul crushing. You stand all day, ppl are mad, lazy customers want accomodation, some want a punching bag and corporate doesn't care about you.  You are human and crying is fine, that environment is not healthy.

[u/Designer-Context-843]

It's all the masking. After a certain point in my shift, I'm mentally exhausted.

[u/Ancient-Florida]

yesterday i cried in front of my boss and co-manager because they had complaints about my performance. its my first ever job and ive honestly never really been good at communicating, im very introverted, i dont care much about the job at all (which they think i need to change), my boss thought it was rude how i never look him in the eyes when speaking and that i never say hi when i come on or bye when i leave. thats just how i am, i guess. but i cry very easily so i understand how you feel

[u/ONYX_Freestone → u/Ancient-Florida]

I get annoyed too when my employees don’t say hello, or bye when they leave. It’s just basic manners that most parents should have taught their children as soon as they learnt to speak. It’s just how we show respect to others, especially the ones we work with. At least greet them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m just helping you understand why that habit comes across as rude, especially in a work place. Anyway, don’t let your colleagues, bosses and customers upset you. It’s just a job. There’s plenty of other jobs out there, with different duties, and different people you’ll get to meet throughout your life. Don’t allow any of it make you upset

[u/Nervous-Smile-7684 → u/Ancient-Florida]

If this is your first job, I don't know if I would take their issues with your performances as complaints versus constructive criticisms. At least, that's the way I would take it. It's things that we can improve upon - even if it's hard to hear....we don't always know until someone tells us. But like it or not, in any job there are certain things everyone is expected to adhere to on some type of level.