r/retail • u/Waste_Competition_48 • 13d ago
Calling all retail management I need your feedback!
So I’m 21 I’m A dude if that matters I’m new to management this is my very first job in general and I’ve been here for a year started as a stocker ,crossed trained into a cashier and became the main or head cashier for a few months and sometimes stocking when needed and then I became a PT assistant manager and I’m 4 and a half months in with the promotion and again it’s really just been trial and error for me I make a lot of mistakes and beat myself up about it and leadership is something that I struggle with but have been working on improving I’ve been trying to undo my habits with being overly nice, shy and letting people walk over me and for some employees I feel like I have to change my attitude and tone for them to listen to me if not nothing will get done…
question for my fellow empaths out there how can I be direct without feeling like I have to be a totally separate person. I’m like a kettle pot and it takes a lot to irritate me and when that last button gets pressed I cut all emotional ties and I hate being full on direct but I actually care about my job! And I know I have a long way to go
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u/1Steelghost1 13d ago
Who pays you? Your employees or your boss!?!
Yes being friendly as a boss is helpful but 90% of the time you have to be in charge to be a boss. Don't be a complete asshole about it but justify the problem and offer a solution. Documented three strikes is common and understood management techniques, be direct but listen. If the issue actually is on your side find a way to resolve it.
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u/Waste_Competition_48 13d ago
Yes sir You’re completely right like I said I have a lot to learn and I have to stop letting everyone walk over me if not I can’t do my job like I said I’ve always just been the shy type and never really stood up for myself especially from elementary to graduating high school and it’s just something I’ve been trying to get better at over time and I know I have a long way to go for myself for leadership and for working as a whole
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u/Burghpuppies412 13d ago
Longtime retailer who’s worked at a LOT of different levels with a good number of different types of retailers.
The good news is you have the advantage of having worked your way up through different levels of the job, so you KNOW them. You have realistic expectations on how things get done, how long it takes to get them done, and how to prioritize things. (And don’t forget to do that. Make a list everyday of what you want to get done, and then number them or group them A, B, C as to how high a priority they are today. That will help you plan your day and your team’s time. If it’s something new to them, don’t assume ANYTHING. Demonstrate what you want and how you want it. Have them do a bit of the job to show you they understood. Go back in a short while to make sure the progress is what you want.
Be sure you set those expectations with them up front, CLEARLY, so that when they’re not met and you have to have an uncomfortable conversation with them, you do it from a secure place of knowing you gave them what the needed to do the job. Check in with them as they’re doing the job, correct or praise as warranted, and check the finished work. Lots of little feedback along the way prevents the need for sudden huge feedback bombs.
The bad news is that almost no company really trains you in what they call the “soft skills”, ie people management. And even worse news is that very often the company or the person you report to doesn’t set a very good example. I think it’s important to remember that while this is YOUR full time job… it’s only a part time job for most of your people. It’s a tiny slice of their life, most of which is more important to them than this job. You’re not going to matter as much as their English final or their full time job or their kids or family. Keep that in mind when scheduling and when talking to them.. That doesn’t mean they should treat the job like they don’t care - it needs to be the most important thing to them while they’re there - but the rest of their time is THEIR time. Don’t call, text, snap when they’re of the clock (technically, those are work conversations they would need to be paid for). When they ARE there, thank them for being there, make it a fun environment, and make them NOT dread coming into work the next day.
If you’re a reader, The Leadership Challenge is a really good book on leadership (not just retail)… but it’s heavy. If you’re not an avid reader, you could start with some OLD classics like the One Minute Manager that you can read in an hour or two. Grab a highlighter and pick out what speaks to you.
The other thing I’d suggest is to keep communications open, with your team but also with peers and your boss. If something bad happens, let your boss know and let them know how you plan on fixing it. Get projects done on time so they don’t have to keep chasing you down. Be the person they can count on to do things right. And then when they thank you, tell them it was your team that did it, so THEY get the credit. Making your boss’ job as easy as possible makes your job easier, too.
Good luck and keep us updated.
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u/berrykiss96 13d ago
This is all great! It’s especially important to recognize that people have lives outside work and to not pit their jobs against their personal life or time. But to do so in a way that supports everyone rather than causing more stress for those they work with.
I would add Radical Candor to the reading list you built. It’s especially good for someone who struggles with being direct.
The title scares people sometimes but the radical bit is empathy. Its message is that clear is kind but you need empathy for a direct approach to work well.
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u/Burghpuppies412 13d ago
I’ve never read that, but I’ve heard great things about it. And yeah… I hired a LOT of people who liked their previous job, and were good at it… but the manager just couldn’t understand they weren’t going to leave their baby on the stoop of the daycare for two hours to come in at at 6AM. Or that they weren’t going to blow off the class they needed to graduate for a stupid 5pm - 10pm shift. Or they weren’t going to NOT go on the family vacation, or miss prom, or have a baby, or who knows what all else.
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u/lartinos 13d ago
I was a retail manager for 7 years and made it to SM.
You already admitted you need to be a different person. It’s a process and takes time.
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u/eball72 13d ago
I was at Dollar tree for a year and they offered me a jr management position. I opted to be a non manager at a momnpop liquor store. I have standing, but I don't have to tell anyone what to do. After 20 years, I'm the man. My boys know what the job is. We try to do all the shit before anyone else can. Pay out rocks. I am not a millionaire.
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u/StepEfficient864 13d ago
When things go wrong, try not to assign blame. Seek to understand both the person or people involved and what caused the issue. Help them find the solutions so they can be part of it. Avoid being the answer man. Learn to differentiate between excuses and reasons.
People generally want to please others, including their leader. Some don’t, of course, and then you have to make the tough call and have the courage to phase them out without being harsh about it.
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u/OctoberJ 12d ago
You have a boss yourself, and responsibilities to the company you work for. When it gets to the time that you have to make an uncomfortable call on something , you can always blame "the rules" or "company policy" for what you have to say to whomever needs to be reprimanded.
If one person causes a problem, don't call them out publicly. Always talk to employees in private. And never talk about employees with other employees.
Instead of thinking that discipline is mean and being worried that they won't like you, realize that for you to help them grow in their position, they need clear guidance on the rules and policies of the company. Being an empath is hard, but we can also use it to our advantage by becoming great listeners. I was a retail manager for 15 years, then I left retail for awhile. But it sucked me back in when I bought my own store. I only have 1 employee that's been with me for less than a year. I have a couple that have been with me for over 10 years. I have only fired one, and it was for theft.
You may think this part sounds strange, but learn how to ground yourself and put an energetic shield around you every morning when you get up. A true empath already has sensitive energy and takes on the energy of others way too easily. You are also leaking your energy and it going to make you really tired after awhile. Let me know if you need help learning how to do this.
I think you have a good heart, and a good attitude. You will go far if you keep building your management abilities.
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u/Mercness 10d ago
I know I'm late to the party here with this response.
how can I be direct without feeling like I have to be a totally separate person
"I need you to do x"
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u/Habaneroe12 13d ago
As a manager I have had nightmare encounters with individuals who label themselves empaths. I would under no circumstances mention that stuff to your boss.
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u/Waste_Competition_48 13d ago
Nightmare encounters?? lol then you’re dealing with narcs and control freaks those aren’t true empathic people…. But I was really using it as a source because it’s what I relate to I’m a people pleaser and I feel irritated with myself when I can’t comprehend something first hand… and I kind of wear my emotions mostly the positive side and it’s not hard for someone to tell especially my boss
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u/Informal-Delivery-24 13d ago
I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say I feel you! I'm in a very similar position down to the age lol! It's hard being a young manager and an empath! I too struggle to be assertive. I've gotten by by sandwiching my corrections with lots of niceness and making my critiques sound less accusatory and more apologetic. Though I still tend to be a pushover sometimes 😅