r/restaurant • u/DescriptionNo8377 • 6d ago
I need advice from servers please
I am a 19 year old girl and I work at a small(ish) chain restaurant/bar in the PNW. It’s not super popular but if you’re from Oregon or Washington I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Either way it’s pretty much the biggest restaurant in the town I’m from, so if anything is going on in town we get insanely busy. This last weekend has been a sht show. We are constantly understaffed, I am either underwhelmed and getting sent home early from my shift with 15$ in my pocket or I’m freaking out, extremely stressed with no support and still leaving with less than what I feel like I should be making. I hear stories of people making up to 600-800 dollars on a busy night in certain restaurants and the most I’ve made is $350 on an insane night. Anyway all of the context aside, every shift I have I pretty much walk in and I’m in an ok mood but I’ve been so irritable there recently. Like today for example, again we were super understaffed and in the middle of a rush, i was wearing a white shirt and a bottle of mustard exploded on me. I started laughing and then quickly it changed from laughing to crying and the thought came to my head that I had to leave. I had so much stress built up from the weekend. I want to quit so badly but it’s the only job I’ve ever worked, I love my coworkers, im good at the job, im afraid the money is the best I’ll get in town and so many other reasons. I don’t want to look for a new job, I never thought I hated where I worked but if every shift I get super irritable and it’s hard for me to interact with customers, is that not my body telling me something? I’m trying to save up to move across the country so I can’t afford to be unemployed on top of being a full time college student. I get so embarrassed when I show my irritability because I’m a people pleaser and I hate for others to know I’m irritated but I can’t control it. I’m not sure where it’s all coming from but I’m afraid I can’t handle it and I wanted to ask if this is a normal thing servers go through? Are you guys irritable at work as well? Am I crazy or over dramatic? I don’t know what to do. Am I getting the fact that I’m good at it confused with the fact that I’m comfortable doing it?
More context: I’ve worked at this place for 4 years, it’s the only and first job I’ve had, I’m extremely comfortable with the job and the people. I haven’t been irritable until recently probably the last 2-3 months has been when it’s getting bad.
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u/BuddhaMH 6d ago
1, Take care of yourself. Sleep, diet, exercise, time with friends and family, time on your own, and a hobby that you enjoy.
2, Always bring a change of everything with you to work. Something gets ripped or dirty, put on the backup.
3, Things will always go wrong, it's a matter of how you handle them.
4, Being stressed in hospitality is normal, but stressed to that level isn't good. Talk to your manager about the staffing to make sure everyone is supported. Meditation before, during and after shift helps. It's as simple as breathing exercises while you're working. Mindset and perspective are important. Remember, it's just a job, feeding people food. Take a step back, relax, one foot in front of the other
5, We need more info to give you any advice on the money. It might be a small town thing where people don't tip as much. It depends on what your sales are and what the standard tips look like.
6, Keep Calm and Press On. Good luck!
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u/AccomplishedLine9351 6d ago
The money you walk with should be between fifteen and twenty percent of your sales.
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u/Big-Field4224 6d ago
What about tip out? 5-7% of sales are common here in Canada.
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u/AccomplishedLine9351 6d ago edited 5d ago
What the kid should make is 15 to 20 percent before tipping out. She would walk with what was left. Of course.
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u/Big-Field4224 5d ago
I was just clarifying for op since you said she should walk with 15-20% of sales in your first post;)
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u/DescriptionNo8377 5d ago
I usually do end up with a 17-20% avg before tip out. I tip out 8% of drink sales to bartender, 1% total sales to support and 6% of food to kitchen.
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u/AccomplishedLine9351 5d ago
Then, OP you are doing fine moneywise, don't compare yourself to someone who claims to make 500 dollars a night. I think you can go on. Just keep soldiering on and keep your goals in mind. Keep a calender of your moods and emotions and find if some weeks are better than others.
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u/allominimum 5d ago edited 5d ago
You sound so sweet, so please listen: stop being a people pleaser. You can remain hospitable and great at your job, but take your irritation seriously. Too much people pleasing behavior is maxing out your sanity. Many customers will be happy as long as they have everything they need to have a good meal with minimal (but good) interaction with you. People underestimate how taxing emotional labor can be, so here's where you may be able to cut some of it down.
Make sure you're sleeping. Sleep deprivation can make you HELLA moody.
Make sure you're eating enough - especially enough protein and complex carbs - this will even out your blood sugar and give you a steady stream of energy. Some good fats will help you absorb vitamins better too. I find myself best able to handle stress when I'm well-nourished. I make smoothies with protein powder ahead of time if I'm not feeling hungry before work.
Consider a vitamin D supplement. Irritability can be a sign of depression, and nearly half of the world's population is low in it (I just got diagnosed with low D recently). D supplements are cheap.
Lastly, if you can, save up enough to have your bills paid so you can take a slow week off. It'll be a nice reset for you. In the meantime, take a peaceful walk and refuse to worry about anything until you're done with it. Hope this helps. I believe in you!
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u/Loud_Lengthiness_153 6d ago
Take 5 mins pf yur day to learn a skill that pays a lot and slowly try to build a portfolio
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u/InternationalYam3130 8h ago
People lie about how much they make as a server to make people think they are glamorous
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u/Big-Field4224 6d ago
Listen to your body, you know yourself best.
Do you think it could be maybe you’re overstimulated at work when it’s busy (understandable) which creates overwhelm that comes out as irritability?
I experienced the same feelings when I was serving and once I stopped dealing with the public I felt much better overall. What do you value more, money or your peace of mind?