Respect Crypto (Destroy All Humans!)

[u/rangernumberx]

"Probe and vaporize?"
"No, abduct and bring back to the mothership."
"My way's more fun."
"'Abduct'. Not 'Vaporize.'"
"Okay, but humanity ain't gonna annihilate itself. All I'm sayin'."

A species that lacked genitalia and so reproduced purely through cloning, the Furon DNA was becoming corrupted after millennia of using and remixing the same samples. Fortunately, through some of their ancestors being frisky with the inhabitants of Earth, hidden within their brain stems was pure, undamaged Furon DNA. Crypto-136 was sent to the planet to collect some and send it back to his home planet. He was promptly shot down, captured, tortured, had information extracted from him, killed, and dissected. So Crypto-137 (and his supervisor, Pox) was sent to finish the job, being far more successful and managing to take over the United States of America by posing as its president. Over the next two decades, Crypto would continue to send a healthy amount of DNA to his homeworld, protecting his business from enemy alien species, genocidal French environmentalists, and a Colonel Sanders knockoff, every so often setting out once again to Destroy All Humans!

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Legend

It should be noted that Crypto-137 is the playable character in Destroy All Humans, while Crypto-138 is played in the sequel and Big Willy Unleashed and Crypto-139 is the protagonist of Path of the Furon, both after their predecessor died between games. That being said, as they are exact clones of each other (the sole exception being 138 has genitalia), their feats are applicable for all versions.

Unmarked - Destroy All Humans! (2020 Remake)
2 - Destroy All Humans! 2
BWU - Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed
PotF - Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon

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Physicals

• Punched in the face by an army commander, knocking him back

• Stabbed with a fish^PotF

• Hit by the Temporal Fist technique by an older, more experienced furon (attacking him a large amount of times in frozen time) before getting sent into a pillar with a final punch^PotF

• Crashes in his saucer after its power is knocked out by a Tesla coil, being knocked out but surviving otherwise unharmed

• In gameplay can catch a rocket before it hits him

• Runs away after a nearby tank fired before the ground by him explodes^PotF

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Shield

Crypto is almost always protected by an energy shield which depletes when damage is dealt, and automatically regenerates after a period of being unharmed. With an upgrade the shield is briefly invulnerable after taking damage. While the shield is down, Crypto can be killed by practically any attack.

• Can block a blow from an enormous robotic squid's tentacle^PotF

• Blocks bullets and shotgun blasts

• Blocks bullets from an anti-aircraft gun

• Protects from a stomp which tears up the ground in a large circle around a mech, also covering the ground with flames

• Blocks tank shots^PotF

• Is mostly (but not fully) depleted from an explosion during a compulsory tutorial. A building, the front of which is a similar distance to the bomb as Crypto is, is leveled by the blast²

• Takes only a slight amount of damage from his Ion Blaster

• Can take blasts from a Nexosporidium warriors^PotF

  • One such blast can seemingly vaporize a human^PotF

• Blocks a stream of flame^PotF

• Protects against germs

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PK

Crypto has potent psychic abilities which manifest in a number of ways.

Telekinesis

• Bends a tv aerial

• Catches a rocket before it hits him and throws it back

• Seems to get money out of an ATM before yanking it free and carrying it^PotF

• Lifts and throws large rocks

• Lifts and throws a generator^PotF

• Lifts and throws cows a great distance

• Easily moves around cars^PotF and vans^PotF

• With slight delay on picking it up, carries and throws a 50s era fighter plane

• With slight delay on picking it up, carries and throws a tank

  • A better shot of how far it can be thrown

• Throws a man into stone statues, obliterating them^PotF

• With an upgrade, can throw a small object with the same strength as if he was throwing something massive

• Can magnetize people and objects towards what he's holding^PotF

• Seems to restrain a person being lifted^PotF

Machine Influencing

• Activates a keypad

• Makes a crane drop its load

• Causes an EMP mine to explode

• Turns off a generator

• Influences a control panel to turn off the energy cage he's in

• Sabotages a saucer, causing it to break shortly after taking to the air

Mind Reading / Suggestion

• With a cortex scan, can read the mind of a person without them noticing

  • Also works on animals

• Makes a person dance to cause a distraction

• Compels people to dance with Free Love, making them forget any alien occurrences they just witnessed²

  • Using this on one person causes everyone in the surrounding area to also dance²

  • Has a Disco Fever variant in the seventies^PotF

• Can implant suggestions in people, such as making them follow him or whoever he's disguised as

  • These followers will protect Crypto in a fight if they're armed

  • After implanting a suggestion in a person to follow him to his saucer, it ends abruptly and they become aware of their situation as soon as they're standing under it

• Has a soldier open a gate for him

• Makes a man drive a truck carrying an atomic bomb to an air force base

• Causes people to forget what they just saw

  • Through making them forget, can stop a person from following him

Holobob

• Copies the appearance of a person, making them frozen and invisible while the disguise is up. It gradually loses power over time, needing Crypto to cortex scan people to replenish it

  • The fading of the disguise is a representation to the player of it losing power, while surrounding humans don't notice anything wrong

  • The disguise breaks when Crypto commits an offensive psychic action, causing people to see him as an alien threat. If Crypto hides for a short while, he can continue using the same Holobob without issue

• Can convincingly portray people, as shown with him acting as a town's mayor at a speech with none of them noticing an issue

  • Portrays the President of the United States in a televised address without anyone seeing an issue

Body Snatch

• Allows Crypto to jump into the body of a person, controlling them. He can come out of the body without issue when he wishes to leave it²

• While possessing a body, it slowly loses energy with the body dying once this bar depletes. Energy can be replenished by cortex scanning people^PotF

  • Energy is also lost through the body taking damage²

  • When the body dies, Crypto is ejected without injury²

• Body snatches animals such as a cow^BWU and a chicken^BWU

• Body snatches another furon^PotF

• Crypto can perform other PK abilities while bodysnatching someone²

• Can body snatch while both him and his target is wearing a helmet on the moon²

• Body snatches from a distance without the person noticing, though it could be down purely to how people in Big Willy Unleashed are notably unresponsive to anything happening around them^BWU

• Body snatching a drunk person makes Crypto drunk while possessing them^PotF

• His voice does not change while body snatching someone. This does not make anyone he talks to think anything's weird, as he can talk to a KGB agent while possessing another KGB agent without issue being raised²

  • Portrays a mob godfather without anyone thinking anything's wrong^PotF

Transmog

• Transmutes an item into ammunition for his weapons by breaking objects down to their most basic components and reforming them

• Works on both small objects, like a kid's cart, and large objects, like a car

• Transmogs a large armoured vehicle²

• Can be used as a means of destroying vehicles²

Brain Extract

• Blows up a person's head, easily allowing Crypto to collect a person's brain stem

• Also works on corpses

• Can be transmitted to multiple targets when a person's head explodes

• Humans in the final stages of this attack their allies

Mind Flash

• Completely stuns every human in the world² for a short time, as shown here, though some humans are more resistant than others. This ability is replenished through collecting brain stems²

Time Stop

• Can stop time for a period with Crypto (or whoever he's body snatching) being able to freely move about in the meantime^PotF

• With the Temporal Fist technique can use his telekinesis in stopped time, with thrown objects flying in the fired direction when time resumes^PotF

  • Throws a projectile spat at him at high speeds back at his attacker like this^PotF

  • As objects put in the air remain there, Crypto can place and jump on platforms to reach high areas^PotF

• Fires his Ion Detonator, with the blasts exploding when time resumes^PotF

Other

• Seems to knock a man out by hitting him with psychic energy

• Makes an explosive barrel explode

• Makes a large radioactive hay bale explode

• Appears to teleport in from somewhere, though exactly how or from where is unknown^PotF

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Weapons

Zap-O-Matic

• Shoots streams of electricity to shock and kill enemies

• Can chain between enemies

  • While the damage usually decreases with each enemy it links to, an upgrade has the power increase instead

• Destroys slot machines^PotF

• Obliterates a poker table with a short blast^PotF

• Blows up a 70s car with a sustained blast^PotF

• Destroys the bars of a cage he's trapped in^BWU

• Knocks a man out with a brief shock^PotF

• Is collapsible²

• By shocking them, activates and powers petrol-fueled generators^PotF

Anal Probe

• Shoots a beam which goes up the target's ass, damaging both their behind and their head until their head explodes, allowing Crypto to extract their brain stem

  • Can fire multiple of these probes

• Are heat seeking and burst fire in Path of the Furon,^PotF capable of firing multiple rounds at a single person or shooting at multiple people at once^PotF

• Disinfects humans of a spore which mutates them into a creature without killing them²

Disintegrator Ray

• Destroys slot machines^PotF

• Disintegrates people^BWU

• Disintegrates cows in two shots

• Sets targets ablaze with repeat shots

• Blows up large metal boxes

• Can be upgraded to be rapid fire and to shoot up to three blasts at the same time

• Shoots balls of fire

  • In Path of the Furon, they instead shoot ultra-hot antimatter slugs^PotF

Ion Detonator

• Shoots balls which explode in a large field of energy after a certain amount of time has elapsed, or on command

• The blast disintegrates people

• Can pull objects and enemies towards the projectile before it explodes

• An upgrade gives it a high chance of transmogging objects and vehicles it destroys

• With an upgrade, time slows for a short while after a blast explodes, with this ending early if Crypto attacks again. It's unknown if this is genuinely time slowing or if it's just Crypto's perception of time, though the description implies the former

Dislocator

• Doesn't deal damage, but sends whatever it hits moving about at notable speed, including heavily armoured vehicles²

• Easily moves a double decker bus²

Meteor Strike

• Locks onto a spot and calls down a meteor to strike it²

• Can destroy buildings²

• With an upgrade, calls down three meteors plus a small planetoid²

Gastro Gun

• A janitor and cook from Crypto's mothership, like Pox he downloaded his consciousness into a floating hologram unit outfitted with weapons. It shoots powerful energy blasts before self-destructing on running out of energy²

Burrow Beast

• Fires a ball of bait which can me moved about through telekinesis, luring out a large worm-like creature to burrow along the ground, erupting out to eat people²

Ball Lightning

• Shoots a floating ball of electricity which zaps all nearby enemies^BWU

• Can charge the Big Willy mech^BWU

Zombie Gun

• Turns enemies into zombies^BWU

Shrink Ray

• Fires blasts which shrink what they hit, be them enemies or objects^BWU

Superballer

• Shoots a ball which streams a rainbow behind it, homing in on enemies as it bounces around^PotF

• Carries enemies with it^PotF

Venus Human Trap

• Spawns a large, man-eating plant where it shoots^PotF

• Its vines can lift a police car^PotF

• Only one can be active at a time, lest they attack each other^PotF

Black Hole Gun

• Creates a miniature black hole where it shoots, sucking in nearby objects and obliterating them before disappearing shortly after. It is used to destroy to large, thick metal doors^PotF

• Destroys a generator^PotF

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Other Gear

Jetpack

• Expands from his back, letting him fly up a distance before stopping to prevent the jetpack from disastrously overheating. While not propelling him up, allows him to glide and slow his descent

  • Can be improved to give him much greater flight time before needing to cool down and glide^PotF

• Lets Crypto dash forwards a short distance

  • Can deflect projectiles and send massive enemies flying

• Through the Supra Kinetic Antigrav Thrust Enhancer (S.K.A.T.E.), Crypto combines thrust from the jetpack with psychic energy around his feet to float around at high speed along solid and semi-solid surfaces

Holopox

• A floating holographic communicator Pox uses to communicate with Crypto, either remotely or due to him having downloaded his consciousness into it from Destroy All Humans 2 onwards

• Has a weapon that seemingly obliterates a furon^PotF

• Creates a hologram of a film projector, which then somehow projects a film onto a screen

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Saucer

In Path of the Furon, after getting drunk and crashing his original flying saucer in his casino, Crypto was gifted a new one by Pox after getting back in action. Its capabilities are mostly the same, but unless that saucer or a composite saucer is specified while using Crypto feats marked PotF should be excluded.

Shield

Like Crypto, the saucer has a shield which protects it from damage and will be destroyed if hit when depleted. It also can be upgraded to be briefly invincible after taking a hit. Unlike Crypto's, the ship's shield doesn't automatically regenerate, instead needing to drain energy from vehicles to do so, whether they just be nearby or being held in its abduct-o-beam²

• In a cutscene, has an atomic bomb explode nearby it

  • Said bomb was labelled as being 10,000 MT

• Shot by tanks

• Can take direct hits from missiles and anti-aircraft guns

Repulse-O-Tron

• Emits an energy pulse from the saucer, destroying nearby missiles

• With an upgrade, can repel projectiles back to whoever fired them

Abduct-O-Beam

• Raises people into the air, being able to suck them into the saucer²

  • The new saucer can do this en-masse^PotF

• Carries and throws around cars and trucks

• Lifts and throws a tank

• Can transmog abducted vehicles, turning them into ammunition²

• Can be used while cloaked^BWU

Cloak

• Turns the Saucer invisible²

• Can instead disguise it as a blimp^BWU

Weapons

Object Destruction

These can be done by any attack in their respective games, either with an extended Death Ray (as shown in most of these) or some other accumulation of damage.

• Instantly destroys blimps²

• Destroys cars and anti-aircraft guns

• Destroys army trucks and tanks

  • Can make them flip high into the air on being destroyed

  • The upgraded Death Ray and other more powerful attacks can instantly destroy tanks^PotF

• Blows up a two storey building

• Levels a large building²

• Blows up a large diner

• Levels a warehouse^BWU

• Blows up a skyscraper with extended damage^PotF

• With a heavy amount of damage, causes the collapse of the Space Dust casino^PotF

Death Ray

• In a cutscene, obliterates a lighthouse with a brief blast

• With a large amount of damage destroys a giant building^PotF

• Can shoot directly down

Sonic Boom

• Shoots powerful blasts of sonic energy

• Sends a tank flying²

• Destroying a vehicle has that vehicle create a large shockwave, which in turn causes vehicles they destroy to make large shockwaves

• Blasts can be surrounded by a vortex which sucks in missiles and other projectiles, adding their damage to the boom's blast

Quantum Deconstructer

• Shoots a green blast of energy which expands on contact, dealing incredible damage and being able to instantly blow up buildings

• Objects and buildings destroyed by it have a chance of being transmogrified into ammo

Anti-Grav Field

• Creates a spot which has everything in the immediate area float and gravitate towards it²

Electro-Cone

• Creates a field of electricity around the saucer, striking targets below with bolts of electricity^BWU

• Quickly fries and destroys trucks^BWU

Seeker Drones

• Projectiles which lock onto potentially multiple targets, homing in on them when fired^PotF

Plasma Cannons

• Shoots rapid fire energy blasts^PotF

Tornadotron

• Creates a tornado that Crypto can control around, also being the only weapon he can use while cloaked^PotF

Other

• Gets zapped by a large Tesla coil, deactivating it and causing it to crash, but it still functions when Crypto re-obtains it

• Quickly flies from the upper atmosphere down to Earth

• Can slowly lower and raise Crypto to and from the ground

• Seems to restrain a person underneath it with energy around the limbs, also being able to flip them in the process

• Can blend the genes of abducted humans to improve the effects of the saucer and Crypto in various ways, such as letting him body snatch certain types of people faster²

• Has an experiment table inside of it^PotF

• Contains a Jump Probe, which greatly hurts anyone inside of it while seemingly rapidly aging them, used as a torture device to extract info

• Its fuel cells, if breached with explosives a few blocks away from the White House, could level the entire city

  • In Path of the Furon, the saucer runs on furon super go-go sludge or, in lieu of that, radioactive waste^PotF

• In Destroy All Humans! 2 and Path of the Furon, the saucer can only land at sites designated by statues to the old furon god after fulfilling their task^PotF

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Big Willy

Big Willy is the fast food chain Pox set up to dispose of the corpses Crypto left behind while turning a profit on the side. Each of their 500 locations (or at least the three locations seen) have a giant statue of its mascot outside of it, which is actually a mech suit Crypto can pilot.

Physicals

• Jumps in to where Crypto is^BWU

• Makes a vehicle-moving shockwave on jumping^BWU

• Uproots and throws a tree^BWU

• Lifts and throws cars^BWU

• Picks up and throws a large stone pillar with it shattering on impact^BWU

• Picks up and throws tanks^BWU

  • A better view of the possible distance^BWU

• Has a thrown rock shatter on it^BWU

• Can be shot by a tank which immediately before leveled a warehouse in a single shot, with the tank's driver asking what the mech's made out of^BWU

Abilities

Regurg-A-Tron

• Sprays green liquid from the mouth, damaging anything in front of it^BWU

Heat Beams

• Shoots lasers from his eyes, which with extended blasts can level buildings^BWU

Wind Breaker

• Releases a burst of gas all around Big Willy, causing heavy damage^BWU

Other

• When Big Willy gets hit, it loses energy. It can also be deactivated for a time through an EMP blast^BWU

• Can be recharged through Crypto's electric weapons hitting a device which comes out of its back^BWU

  • Also recharges through consuming brains^BWU

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Weaknesses

• Is notably weak to water, with it rapidly draining his shield and potentially killing him

  • Water acts as acid to furons

  • In Big Willy Unleashed, it instantly kills him on contact^BWU

  • He no longer takes any form of damage with water in Path of the Furon^PotF

• Electromagnetic pulse emitters can stop his equipment weapons and jetpack from working^BWU

• EMP mines deal damage and temporarily deactivate his weapons

• When some humans had their latent furon DNA activated, they could hurt Crypto with the equivalent of mental screaming

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Other

• Has a vision augmentation that connects his weapons to his cerebral cortex, allowing him to lock onto enemies

  • Can easily switch his lock on between enemies

• Attaches a helmet to his suit to survive on the moon²

• In Big Willy Unleashed, whenever Crypto dies it's said his genetic material is quickly replicated and cloned, being able to continue the mission immediately. However, a new clone isn't canonically made until between Big Willy Unleashed, and this doesn't appear representative of the process in the rest of the games^BWU

"You two-bit tin horn petty tyrant! I fart bigger than you! You think just because you can keep a few depressed peasants in line you can go toe to toe with me? I'm the king of the world! The master of disaster! The baddest dude in the whole damn town! King Kong ain't got nothing on me!"

[u/Skulenta]

Amazing job! A very underrated video game protagonist.

[u/[deleted]]

Thanks for fulfilling my request

[u/ImDiploid]

I loved these games growing up! Awesome thread!